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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

I'm Not Saying Anything…

All I’m saying is that it’s a odd feeling watching a career end before your very eyes.
There’s always television.

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51 Responses to “I'm Not Saying Anything…”

  1. jeffmcm says:

    I take it we’ll find out the details this Friday the 13th.

  2. MarkVH says:

    Actually I’m wondering if it isn’t June 20th David’s referring to. Carrell, maybe? If Get Smart is truly awful and doesn’t open, he could be referring to the fact that he’s had this and Evan Almighty bomb in consecutive summers, hence back to TV with The Office.
    But it could be anybody – word on Hulk isn’t bad enough so far to suggest Norton. Shyamalan? Mike Myers has another Shrek coming out and he survived Cat in the Hat, so I don’t imagine it’s him.
    Curious indeed.

  3. messiahcomplexio says:

    it’s pronounced
    sha-ma-lan-a- big-bomb.

  4. LexG says:

    Hoping in vain that this isn’t about a movie that features The Awesomeness (ie, Zooey.)

  5. I see dull people.

  6. Wrecktum says:

    “M. Night’s Amazing Stories”
    Actually, a Night anthology with him as host ain’t a bad idea.

  7. Sean says:

    (It’s obviously The Happening because David is forever talking about how Shyamalan is a TV-scaled talent.)
    I always want Shyamalan’s movies to be good, and will be disheartened if this one is not. That said, he does have The Last Airbender lined up, which doesn’t excite me at all but will, I think, forestall career death.

  8. Tofu says:

    With Airbender in development, he doesn’t have much to worry about.

  9. Martin S says:

    Night ain’t going anywhere. Too much Indian cash coming into play. If Uwe Boll can make a career feeding on fellow German investors, than Night can set himself up for the next several years. I’m guessing this is how Tarsem got another project off the ground considering he was persona non grata for years.

  10. Sooo…the Wachowki’s aren’t on notice for making nary a decent film since the first Matrix and Night is? Okaaaaay….

  11. Rothchild says:

    Speed Racer is the best movie of the summer so far. Night has made three terrible movies in a row, each worse than the one before.

  12. Crow T Robot says:

    Shyamalan, Shyamalan, Shyamalan…
    If I were Shyamalan I’d START the next movie with the big twist. First scene. Say a workaholic husband whose wife reveals herself and their two kids to be vampires. The sum’bitch never noticed because he only saw them at nighttime. And the rest of the movie is all about him having to be a better dad to his evil bloodsucking vampire family.
    The second twist comes at the end… they’re not really vampires. They were just fucking with dad for his attention. Which cancels out the first twist, making a mathematical total of NO REAL TWISTS. Audiences would be shocked.
    You can have that one for free, Night. Run with it.

  13. lazarus says:

    Couldn’t have happened to a more arrogant guy.
    At least take away his name-above-the-title status on the next film.

  14. Goulet says:

    Yes, THE HAPPENING is Shyamalan’s worst since WIDE AWAKE… But it’s still better than most movies that have come out this year.

  15. mutinyco says:

    M. Midday Shyamalan

  16. LYT says:

    Crow, that sounds like a near-classic to me. Please make it yourself if Manoj doesn’t take you up on the offer.

  17. IOIOIOI says:

    Whenever we can discuss the Happening. I am going to lay into on the basis of it’s basis being a bunch of hong kong phooey.

  18. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    In the late 70s Stephen King picked a booger and flicked it onto the ground. Then some fairy dust fell on the booger.
    Over time the booger grew up to be M Night.
    True story.

  19. Then it must’ve been a coke booger cuz S.K. was struuuung out in the 70’s.
    Speaking of, I just finished “Richard Bachman’s” BLAZE…it was o.k. I’m actually really enjoying Kings kids’ books. Owen King’s WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER is a little hit and miss, but shows touches of a great young writer and Joe Hill (Kings other, more horror oriented kid) has a genuine King flashback book in HEART SHAPED BOX. He also has an awesome collection of short stories called 20TH CENTURY GHOSTS and the dude is writing a comic book series I just laid my paws on called LOCKE AND KEY. Feels like his papa back in the day.
    He has a site here: http://joehillfiction.com/

  20. jeffmcm says:

    “Yes, THE HAPPENING is Shyamalan’s worst since WIDE AWAKE”
    Hard to believe since that movie is one of the most repellent, fails-on-every-level, give-me-a-cup-of-dog-poop-and-tell-me-it’s-soft-serve movies that I’ve ever seen.

  21. leahnz says:

    someone gave me a copy of ‘the stand’ (mega-fat unabridged version) to read when i was 15. changed my life. ah, those were the days…

  22. There *is* always television. M Night would probably be great at a Twilight Zone type series… his films have always sort of felt padded out anyway. 22 minutes might be his true medium.

  23. brack says:

    I’m sure David’s talking about Will Smith.

  24. jeffmcm says:

    It’ll take more than one movie to end Will Smith’s career.

  25. brack says:

    lol, thanks for replying to my ridiculous post jeff.

  26. AH says:

    You guys really don’t like MNS. I wonder what he did to you to bring out such animosity.

  27. Reginald_Applegravy says:

    Let me guess – crap movies perhaps?

  28. Dave Vernon says:

    What bugs me the post about him is that he can’t seem to admit it when HE has failed. When there was concern at Disney about the ending of The Village–he thought they didn’t have faith in him–instead of trying to see if they were right (they were). When they didn’t LOVE or even get the script for Lady In The Water, he felt they didn’t have faith in him as an artist–didn’t seem to have occured to him that the script wasn’t good. When Lady In The Water tanked–its not that the film missed…its that everyone had it out for him. I’m curious to see who he’ll blame the failure of this one on.

  29. Eric says:

    Shyamalan wouldn’t receive so much animosity if he hadn’t declared himself the next Spielberg. That type of arrogance invites derision when you just don’t make movies good enough to back it up.
    Compounding the problem is the way that he’s dug in his heels and made it clear in his movies that he won’t listen to the criticism.

  30. Eric says:

    By the way, I say that without any intention of aggravating the Shyamalan fans around here– I’m saying that’s how one would see it if one thinks his last few movies were terrible. YMMV.

  31. Dave Vernon says:

    I’ve been seeing lots of TV ads for the film that don’t even mention his name. I guess it doesn’t have that kind of cache anymore. The unfortunate truth (and I’m speaking before having seen The Happening), is that at this point, he’s been bad longer than he’s been good.

  32. montrealkid says:

    I think Poland is talking about Mike Myers and The Love Guru. My gf saw the TV ad for it last night and wondered aloud if that was the bit that they were highlighting for their TV spot (the midget office meeting) then the rest of the film must be unbelievably awful. More than M. Night, Myers has been held to no accountability by anyone close to him as he (inexplicably) keeps raking it in. That might end now. Moreover, his talent pool is very shallow (he’s carried his career on characters based on accents far longer than should be allowed).
    As for The Happening, the TV ads have been going out of their way to mention that this is M. Night’s first R-rated film. M. Night has always split audiences and if The Village didn’t kill his career, nothing will.

  33. Stella's Boy says:

    The Love Guru does look bad and Myers hasn’t made a live action movie in a while. However, if it does turn out to stink and it flops, is that enough to kill his career?

  34. montrealkid says:

    Considering the budget for The Love Guru is being curiously kept underwraps (IMDB and BoxOfficeMojo don’t have an official figure)if you Google it you can find that there’s an $80 million dollar price tag fixed to this, which wouldn’t surprise me. If the film bombs, Myers career as a live action lead will be seriously hurt (though is Wayne’s World MTV Movie Awards thing seems to me like Myers is preparing a cushion to fall on), though his voicework stuff will still continue. He’s too far in his own cocoon to see that the audiences that loved Austin Powers have now moved on to Apatow styled comedies for their fix.

  35. Nicol D says:

    Night needs to make a movie where – he – is not the star. He needs to go back and get an icon to back up his ideas. Night – is – a talent but his Twilight Zone style earlier films were lent a creedence by having iconic actors like Willis, Gibson, Jackson, in situations that they had to deal with as regular human beings. They’re very presence made the films more creepy. The thought was…if these tough guys are taken aback by the proceedings…how would I react?
    When he started casting average type guys (although good actors) like Whalberg, Phoenix, Giamatti etc. something was lost in translation.
    This is the same reason why Burton’s Apes film failed. When an alpha male icon like Heston is captured and frightened by Apes, it makes us stand up and notice. It creates tension. When Mark Whalberg is…we say of course…we expect it. No tension.
    That’s why for all of the criticisms, Spielberg’s War of the Worlds – did – connect with an audience. We are not used to seeing and icon like Cruise run in fear. It makes us afraid.
    Night has to hire a big name actor for his next film. Perhaps even Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson or Sam Jackson. Even if the film itself is sloppy, casting does make a huge difference.

  36. LexG says:

    Robert Wilonsky seems to have liked it.

  37. Roman says:

    “Shyamalan wouldn’t receive so much animosity if he hadn’t declared himself the next Spielberg.”
    I don’t think he ever said that. He’s too smart for that. Must have been some third tier critic’s blurb that spread around.

  38. RudyV says:

    It was the cover of NEWSWEEK, August 5, 2002, that made that comparison. Yep, third tier is right.
    As for Myers, Cracked.com put up a video analyzing the LOVE GURU trailer, revealing that all the best bits have been copied from his earlier films. Seems that Mr. Myers is running on fumes.

  39. jeffmcm says:

    I think it was a Newsweek cover story.

  40. Boonwell says:

    The cover of TIME Magazine proclaimed him “the next Spielberg” a few years ago.

  41. RudyV says:

    A real goodie from the letters section two weeks later, reacting to the cover story:
    I wholeheartedly agree that M. Night Shyamalan not only will be the next Spielberg, but will also deliver more quality films like “The Sixth Sense,” “Unbreakable” and now “Signs.” The cover story by Jeff Giles was undoubtedly a treat for readers like me (a huge fan of Shyamalan’s), and it lets readers know there is a place where movies can be made truly for the purpose of entertaining all audience groups. Kudos to Giles for a splendid story, and to Shyamalan, who shows promising “Signs” of becoming a film legend.
    Maria Ashna
    Albuquerque, N.M.

  42. jeffmcm says:

    Thanks for the correct info.

  43. RudyV says:

    However:
    …After reading your insightful article, in which Shyamalan reveals his vaunted perception of himself and his work, one would think he has just made a film that tops his first two. Well, I just saw it, and my verdict is that I’ll be thinking twice before I see his next movie. M. Night Shyamalan is a long way from becoming Steven Spielberg. And while he’s working on his next script, perhaps he should order in some humble pie.
    Brian D. Siewart
    Nashville, Tenn.
    I am appalled by the notion that M. Night Shyamalan is on the same playing field with Steven Spielberg. In my opinion, “The Sixth Sense” was actually “Jacob’s Ladder” in disguise and, going back further, a blatant thievery of Ambrose Bierce’s “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge.” Shyamalan’s “Unbreakable” could have lifted scenes straight from Stephen King’s “The Dead Zone,” about a man who could predict an individual’s future by simple physical contact. Ironically, his latest installment seems a close cousin to Spielberg’s “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” Spielberg is lauded for making unique films with memorable scenes and lively characters. Shyamalan has built his reputation around morose, often depressed protagonists, salvaged only by a surprise ending. When it comes to film direction, the comparison between Shyamalan and Spielberg is truly night and day.
    Adam S. Rowe
    Short Hills, N.J.

  44. Rothchild says:

    During the production of Unbreakable, M. Night did an interview with Premiere magazine. He said that he felt America (I shit you not) was pissed that he didn’t win the oscar for The Sixth Sense and that passion would drive the box office of his second film. He said “I’ve left room in the top ten of all time for this one. It will be a bigger hit than The Sixth Sense.” Someone should track down that interview. It was INSANE.

  45. modernknife says:

    This whole culture of “The Next…” has got to stop. Not only is it ignorant and silly, but it has the effect of placing a 10,000 pound weight on a new director’s back, plus giving ’em some new cement shoes and then throwing them into the Pacific to learn how to swim.
    Hate to break the news…there is NO NEXT.
    Spielberg is only the next Spielberg. Even though “critics” wanted to give him the next Hitchcock label when JAWS came out. There will never be a next Kubrick. Same for Scorsese, Kieslowski, Michael Mann and so on.
    David Fincher is the next David Fincher. Period. The End.
    M. Night is only the next M. Night.
    If you HAVE to put him into a category based on other writer-director’s — then do your homework. Spielberg is NOT a writer-director, so that ends that right there. The only two writer-directors M. Night reminds me of are JOHN CARPENTER and BRIAN DePALMA.
    All three are writer-directors who work in the thriller genre. All have had hits and misses. BUT…they have found a way to continue working and have left behind some pretty special films we wouldn’t have gotten from any other writer/directors.
    And that should be enough.

  46. Dr Wally says:

    “Speed Racer is the best movie of the summer so far. Night has made three terrible movies in a row, each worse than the one before.”
    That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. But this is the town where money talks loudest, and whatever you think of it as a movie, The Village took more in it’s first weekend than Speed Racer will in it’s entire run. Night will get to sail his Sixth Sense boat for a while yet, but i don’t know what The Wachowskis’ career options are right now.

  47. Cadavra says:

    I also think it’s Myers. His live-action career is basically over (CAT opened strong then dropped like a rock), and GURU looks like an alternative to the gas chamber. And how long will DW continue to pay his enormous salary to do more SHREKS when they can get someone like Maurice LaMarche to imitate him for a fraction of Myers’ quote?

  48. jeffmcm says:

    I think DP’s review today kind of wrapped it up, guys.

  49. christian says:

    Career end?
    Oh David.
    By know you should know about second and third acts.

  50. RudyV says:

    Isn’t Myers already passing through his second act? If not for his VO work in SHREK, CAT and GOLDMEMBER woulda killed his career dead. Yet now he’s trying to get back in front of the camera with a rehash of the lamer bits from the AUSTIN POWERS flicks?
    Looks like the curtain act 3 will be rising soon. WALTER MITTY might be a good comeback, but playing Keith Moon will probably be his death knell.

  51. jeffmcm says:

    Cat in the Hat and Goldmember still made $133m and $297m worldwide, respectively.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon