It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?
So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.
And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.
There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.
I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.
So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.
But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”
My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher
“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.
~ David Simon
Dane Cook is a comic legend.
It’s a shame I fear a more impassioned defense of this will lead to people writing letters and annoying Poland. Because trust me, this would be an all-caps bonanza pitched just S.O.C. (South of Cruise.)
There are a multitude of reasons why this is different than Kat Heigl, the foremost of which is that Cook is displaying a sense of humor about himself, unlike the self-serious KH. You’re right to believe that Cook’s “accessibility” to his fans is a very deliberate and shrewd marketing device, and his “keeping it real” for said fans here is a form of publicity all its own.
You’re also more than welcome to not find him funny.
I am surprised you don’t find it a little refreshing that a star would exert a little concern about quality control; He’s not even really badmouthing the movie, but the ad department.
Were you this angry at a star when Eddie Murphy warned his fans away from “Best Defense” and fully copped to taking it for a paycheck? When The Cos did the same for “Leonard Part 6”? Did the former seal Murphy’s 1984 ticket off the Paramount lot????
I also remember Steven Seagal and then-wife Kelly LeBrock on the Arsenio show, and he started complaining about some issues he had with “Hard to Kill”… as they were there to promote it.
Didn’t stop WB from working with him for the next several years on a number of projects.
“Dane Cook is a comic legend.”
This is truly the opposite of total ownage.
Did Heigl do something else lately to make her story ‘ongoing’?
Name a comic since Rock — maybe even since Kinison or Dice — who has completely galvanized his audience and sold that many records and sold out that many shows.
At a time when stand-up is practically a dead artform and has been relegated to COFFEE HOUSES while legit clubs flail or go out of business and NO ONE goes to see live comedy, this guy deserves a shitload of props.
If this were still the late ’80s and the 37th guy on the bill at the Store was still booking Carson and getting pilots, hating on Cook might be one thing. But this dude becoming a comedy rock star and scoring movies with ALBA, BIEL AND SIMPSON is akin to a FUCKING MIME selling out The Garden in 2008. Like a fucking UNICYCLIST scoring a 100-million dollar hit for WB and co-starring with It Girls.
Okay, now it makes more sense. With all due respect to Lex, it appears that Dane Cook is who he wants to be when he grows up, right?
I wouldn’t be surprised if Lex actually is Dane Cook.
Cook deserves props because he gets dipshit frat boys to buy tickets to his shows? Look at how many shows Larry the Cable Guy sells out. The ability to fill an auditorium does not prove the performer is of high quality. My wife recently dragged me to a sold-out Coldplay show. I would not label them a good band.
Sorry if that sounded patronizing.
Dane Cook is supposed to be funny?
I thought he just did frat guy revival meetings, like a douchebag Billy Graham.
Sorry, make that BIGGER douchebag Billy Graham.
Anyone who makes a living in comedy deserves at least some respect. Because, you know, comedy is hard. Exhibit A: “Let the heeeeeeb-larity” begin.” 🙂
My guess is that Cook is just trying to do a little damage control with his fan base. His previous films haven’t done that well, so the studio is understandably trying to make this one look more like a Hudson type rom-com than, say, Good Luck Chuck. So Cook is now trying to assure his fans that this one isn’t quite the sell-out it appears to be. Whatever. I laughed at some of his comments.
David – remember also that Dane Cook was in “Waiting…” And remember when the director of that film pulled a prank with Luis Guzman where it looked like they were seriously feuding.
Wouldn’t surprise me if Dane got permission to do this, for the same reason.
“Waiting…” OWNS.
I agree with yancy’s second paragraph, which is kind of the point I wanted to make. And I still thing my “Best Defense” analogy is sound.
That poster looks nothing like the Red-Band trailer I saw in front of Step Brothers.
If LGF is trying to change their campaign to a more female-friendly Kate Hudson Rom-com rather than the raunch-fest the trailer promises, then I can’t wait for opening night to hear the horrified reactions of the women expecting How to Lose a Guy Part II and getting something altogether different.
Also, I noticed that Cook doesn’t have another completed movie lined up. So clearly this movie will be very important for him, if he is going to be a movie leading man. It is in his best interest to get out there and get people talking about My Best Friend’s Girl.
Poland, you’re way wrong here. Check out the redband trailer then look at the poster. He has every right to bitch here and a blind man would have his back on this one.
And I hate Dane Cook. I hate his standup. I hate his movies. I hate everything about him. But this is exactly how he should handle this.
How else would his fans know the film is worth seeing? That poster is for a Kate Hudson romantic comedy. So is the greenband trailer.
NOT A GOOD BAND? Stella, you’ve got to be kidding me? Please tell me you are kidding me, or you harbour love for Foreigner. Either one will no. Nevertheless; Lex you need to move to the east coast because they still have comedy clubs, and people like Bob Levy have a career. So work it out brah. Work it out.
You can’t hang your marketing department out to dry publicly, especially when you’ve never carried a good movie. The marketing of this film is as important to Dane Cook as the writing is to Kathering Heigl. If he’s so disgusted, why doesn’t he go all Warren Beatty and have the poster changed.
Waiting is a really bad movie. Not funny, rambling, ugly-as-hell cinematography.
Umm when Cosby and Murphy denounced their respective movies, they had been HUGE STARS for many years. And they could be pretty sure it wouldn’t affect their careers.
Dane Cook is not a star, nor will he ever be light years within reach of that league.
Spurious argument, Lex.
“And I hate Dane Cook. I hate his standup. I hate his movies. I hate everything about him. But this is exactly how he should handle this.”
Ditto to everything. And insulting a marketing department isn’t even close to disparaging your writing staff.
Look, LGF is probably thrilled with this. Did anybody notice we’re talking about a Dane Cook movie because of it? This movie will make more money because of that post, not less.
Dane Cook is my MySpace friend.
I am special.
Two thoughts:
1. Waiting is an awesome movie.
If only because when I used to wait tables to pay the bills, there would always be at least one or more fellow server, usually a lifer, who would come up to me and say “You know what would make an AWESOME movie? A movie about working in a RESTAURANT!”
If I’m ever forced to work at waiting tables again , I will never have to hear this request, as I’m sure they already know it, and watch it nightly.
2. This is venturing into total gossip and not usually my thing…but…in this case, this douche needs to be outed:
Dane Cook is a card carrying member of the Valtrex club. And he loves to sleep with women and purposely does not let them know before hand, that they risk obtaining an incurable STD if they take a jockey ride with him.
One of these poor victims was the lovely Jessica Simpson, who after obtaining the lovely and permanent herpes virus from Mr. Cook – passed it on to Adam Levine and Tony Romo.
Ladies, should you decide to roll in the hay with this joke stealer, you’ve been warned.
“This is venturing into total gossip and not usually my thing…”
Don’t a fair percentage of your posts contain at least some variation on this “thing”? (Outing someone, celebrity sex habits, drug or VD allegations)?
And the talking-a-friend-of-a-friend-out-of-prostitution-as-a-career thing.
Not that I’m complaining, I find it all highly instructive and entertaining.
LexG raises an interesting point about Cook’s importance in terms of the visibility of comedy and the semi-lost art of comedy albums. If you could ever scrape up a reason for paying attention to his mediocrity, that’s not a bad one. I’d congratulate him, but he’s pretty efficient at doing that himself. And moreover, I think we have him to thank for the tools on Last Comic Standing, not any comedians worth a damn.
Question, though. I haven’t seen Employee of the Month, Good Luck Chuck, or (obviously) My Best Friend’s Girl. However, I have seen all of their trailers over and over. Why in hell does every Dane Cook movie look as if it was shot on some kind of garish, faded-pastel, motel-quality film stock? I know they’re comedies and aesthetics are rarely first on the menu; Step Brothers for example, which I thought was actually very well-directed, comedically speaking, wasn’t exactly gorgeous to look at. But at the same time, no Will Ferrell movie has ever looked as hideous as the Cook movies do in their trailers. And those are the trailers! Is it possible that the movies themselves look even worse? Is this a LionsGate thing?
That’s why the poster is so odd to me. It’s not a good or particularly attractive poster, but the level of sheen and polish that Cook bemoans doesn’t resemble the cheap-shit look of the trailer. The Chuck and Employee posters, if I remember correctly, had a certain cheap look to them. Maybe if LionsGate is trying to broaden the base, they could try for a movie that doesn’t look like it was shot on leftover stock from Saw V. I know the profitability of these things depends on keeping the costs down, but c’mon, it’s not as if they’re making My Best Friend’s Girl for $5 million here.
Well, Lex, while you’re out there trying to push the worst in cultural values and taste on the unsuspecting masses – somebody has to enlighten them to the realities of the game.
Lex you love this joke stealer? Makes sense. Anything that gets general ridicule or made fun of on Defamer, McSweeny’s, The Onion, – you think it’s cool and hip and OWNS. Many think this is a character – one look at your old MySpace, and it’s clear this is really you.
Shouldn’t you be back in Oklahoma or something?
Jeff, not surprised at your comment, you’ll pile on anyone’s side in an attempt to get some kind of feel of a “winning” response in order to get that momentary fix of “superiority” you so dearly need to fill that bottomless ego.
So, you think it’s cool to yank fans out of the audience, take them backstage, sleep with them, and knowingly give them herpes without their consent? You’re okay with that?
Lex, you being a guy that can’t pull chicks, I’m not surprised.
Jeff? Sad.
Damn, Jeff, I posted the above before I read your follup.
I take that back. Umm..Sorry.
Lex…I just pity you.
THX, I don’t know what your problem is. I just told you that I appreciate your stories (and their realism) while suggesting that Lex had a point about their content. If I offended you, it was unintentional, but I said absolutely nothing about approving of the spreading of diseases, which is incomprehensible to me.
Okay?
Jesse…
Employee of the Month is one of the grungiest looking comedies imaginable. I know that it’s shot under the unforgiving flourescents of a big box store (or a soundstage doubling as one), but a light comedy really does lose some steam when it’s that cold, clinical and depressing to look at. Waiting… actually has a pretty grubby look too… Good Luck Chuck is slightly more polished, but I think overall it’s a studio thing. As has been discussed, studios all seem to have their trademark tint– Mike Clark, I believe, once described all New Line movies as being shot “through mud.”
Universal goes the opposite direction. I complain about it every time a new Universal comedy drops — that candy-coated baby-blue tint with the watercolor-beige flesh tones. The ads for Pineapple Express, You Me and Dupree, Knocked Up, Charlie Wilson’s War — all the same sticky-sweet pastel frosting sheen. Usually the effect is less when you see the actual movie, but it’s definitely a color timing thing that seems consistent within studios in their marketing and sometimes even the films.
Likewise with my above comment…sorry that you apparently still think I have a ‘bottomless ego’, retraction or not. Please don’t give Joe “I eat babies for lunch” Leydon any more ammo.
Jeff, seriously, my bad.
I apologize for responding impulsively and not catching you follow-up.
If there was an edit button, I would’ve gone back and removed it all.
THX…
I was merely pointing out your posts about public figures repeatedly tread a dangerous line towards libel. Is that truly a concept with which you are unfamiliar?
All of your little (played out, lame, unpleasant) rants about me are totally beside the point. But glad you got your big moment there, gamer.
We keep leapfrogging comments. No problem.
Though I’m sure all the susceptible young female Dane Cook groupies who spend their days perusing the commnts section of The Hot Blog are grateful for your advice.
(That was the funniest part, that your slanderous gossip-mongering was phrased as some sort of public service.)
It’s not slander if it’s true.
Unlike you Lex, I don’t need the “big moments” here. I don’t even THINK like that.
Like, everyone else really serious about it out here, I just find the time and a way to do the work.
What’s played out?
All the times I said you were talented, when you were drunk, and tried to give you legit help on your “career”, places and ways to make connections and build a body of work; and you would just shout down in your cracked out Tyler Durden persona gibberish about being a New Age Hippie?
Are those the played out rants you’re talking about?
And yeah, Lex. There are a lot of hot assistants around here that read the THB, as they know their bosses do.
But you wouldn’t know about that being in Van Nuys working 65 hours a week. Or whatever your excuse is for not giving it a genuine effort.
You’ve been well behaved, intelligent and even funny at times without going all cracked out Tyler. So, I don’t want to be the one responsible for waking the beast.
You can create this feud if you want, but I’m just going to go back to your wish of ignoring each other. And if you ever do get on a stage around here, I’ll show up, not ready to throw a bottle, but in support.
But then when I say something like that, I get called an elitist.
es lo que es…
August 13, 2008. Mark the date, people. It’s when LexG lost whatever small amount of credibility he had left.
Dane FUCKING Cook? Why am I somehow not surprised you would champion this barely-above-lowest common denominator bullshit?
You know, David Cross sold a shitload of albums too, and without the kind of material that goes down as smooth as a vodka ice luge at a frat party. But of course, you wouldn’t mention him because he’s the guy you probably look like, as opposed to the guy you WISH you looked like.
As someone who routinely hates on bad posters I like that Cook said something. Key art is a big part of a movie’s advertising and if it’s shit it can lose traction for your movie and turn people off.
Dave, I can’t fathom Liongate’s marketing department sabotaging future Cook projects. If they do that and his films flop then that’s less money coming in to the studio and less jobs or whatever. I imagine they’d give the marketing guys the boot before Cook.
Having said that, Cook is worthless.
Lex, someone may not be able to make a career out of comedy in LA alone, but if they’re good enough they can tour the world. Works plenty well I imagine for all the comedians that routinely come down here doing shows and appearing on television.
Lots of people LOVE Dane Cook… Lex’s love doesn’t surprise me at all.
I watched the red band… wow… dick jokes and telling women to blow him… cool…
But to say it’s not a rom-com is to miss the point… he’s supposed to be a jerk. So women will enjoy watching him be a jerk… and then get tamed by Bill Hudson’s daughter’s ass.
I don’t like the poster either, btw. But you don’t shit where you live. Being right doesn’t make it okay. In fact, it often makes it worse.
Lex, I sorta see what you’re saying about those Universal pictures, but I’ll take generically pleasing slickness over that nasty Cook-comedy look any day.
Also, Pineapple Express isn’t from Universal, and I don’t think it has those tones you’re talking about, as it takes place mainly in alleyways and crummy apartments and littered forests, and was shot by David Gordon Green/Tim Orr (which is to say those crummy apartments and littered forests look strangely beautiful, though far from pastel). That their “look” is fairly present in the film was one of the best aspects of it.
Yeah, you’re right… I think I might have been thinking more of Sarah Marshall, which is kind of the ultimate in studio pastel.
You know each studio has its prints made by separate labs, right? It’s not like they hand out notes to the directors of photography every time they sign a contract.
“dick jokes and telling women to blow him… cool… ”
Fuck Yeah!
Unsurprising, to say the least.
Dane Cook is my idol. I have loved him ever since he writes about bee’s stinging in the face. And he will punch them.
What someone said about Jessica Simpson ignorant!!! I looked and could not find anything on the net about std’s, and find it hard to believe (no pun intend) that Dane Cook have std that he spread.
So you make lies just to make your story sound good? Bad form to you all.
When you have over 2 mil friends on popular network site, and you m ake millions with number one hit comedy cd, you come and say Dane Cook is no good, because until then YOU SHOULD NOT TALK!
All his movies funny. Waiting, when he say “WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME BITCH” I never laugh so hard to pee.
Good luck Chuck, barrels of laugh. And this movie new coming out look so so GOOD! I agree with Mr Cook that his face look messed up in the photo. He has turned his head at a weird angle and it makes for awkward.
Have you ever been on a movie poster, judgers? I do not think so! Well, I HAVE! And I know that is it not what you think it to be!
When you all become movie stars and get up on stage- then you come and talk badly about it! Opinions are like assholes… everyone.
Thank you, and I will continue to check and write back and be the only one who speaks truth here. Thank you.
-Daina
To quote Phil Moscowitz, “I’m flabbergasted.”
Let me be the first to welcome Mr. Roberto Benigni to the Hot Blog fold. Nice lengthy post for your first time, too.
My question is, is this a Dane Cook fan or someone trying to make fun of Dane Cook fans?
The whole Dane Cook sells lots of records thing is a bunch of bullshit (especially when considering the amount of records adam sandler has sold), but to challenge that by saying david cross has sold a lot of records is malarkey. I love cross, and he has made one masterpiece of a comedy album (two in my opinion) but he has not sold near to the amount of records cook has. Yes, he has been in better movies, but he has also been in Alvin and the Chipmunks, something which he deliberately had to save face on after patton oswald gave him shit (and patton oswalds comedy looks Epic Movie compared to Cross’s)… its all different and cook doesn’t have near the amount of credibility cross does, but maybe he is preemptively defending his decision to make this movie before its too late and he is just pissing in the wind (or in his blahg or whatever)
The thing that confused me most about DaneCookForLife’s reply was “(no pun intend)”
Say wha…?
Daina/DaneCookForLife….
HELLS YES. Good to see someone else knows their shit and stands up for THE GREATEST COMEDY LEGEND of the last decade!
I’m on DANE’S friends list, too! Hit me up on MySpace sometime and keep OWNING.
Good Luck Chuck was hilarious and I own it on DVD just like Employee of the Month and Waiting.
His last HBO concert was the best standup special since Pryor’s Live on the Sunset Strip!
Maybe we have Mrs. G in the offing…
Seriously though, Waiting really was terrible.
Waiting = ANNA FARIS = ownage.
Plus Reynolds in good form and Guzman and the maitre d chick and that’s like a half dozen things that own before you even get to D.C.
I don’t even remember Anna Faris in that movie, she’s in like one scene, right?
Guzman lifts it from being a 2/10 to being a 3/10.
Anna Faris = completely appealing, fun, sexy, funny, charismatic, magentic and awesome.
She is my dream woman.
she was bloody annoying in ‘lost in translation’, but good on her cuz i think that was the point
She was playing Cameron Diaz so, yes, the point was to be incredibly stupid and annoying.
Also, Lex, I’d suggest you go watch Margaret Cho’s I’m the One that I Want, which is the best stand up film since the ’80s.
My favorite part of the post was to comment on Cook’s poor grammar and then later in the same sentence misspell cretin and you’re.
everyone here has missed the point: Dane Cook most likely spoke out against this piece-of-shit key art at the risk of sabotaging future Lionsgate movies because THERE ARE NO FUTURE LIONSGATE MOVIES FOR HIM. dude got a few at-bats from this distributor and now that there is a new programmer at the company, Cook isn’t likely to get any more. and he knows it. and the poster fucking blows.
The best thing to do about a piece of shit is to not “speak out against it” if that is what he indeed did…but to not speak of it al all. It will go away quicker if you just MOVE ON and not make enemies.
I don’t find Dane Cook funny at all…and yeah Kam, Cho’s movie is quite funny!
So Poland is saying that talent can’t control their own image. They have to outsource it to studio marketing depts, and, even if the final key art is for shit, they have to grin and bear it.
No fucking way. Fight on, Cook.
Please, Wreck… I said nothing of the kind. And if Dane Cook didn’t have a sign off on the poster in his 3rd or 4th Lionsgate movie, he should fire his agent.
It’s really simple… and it doesn’t matter one little bit if you or I think it’s right…
In Hollywood, the way you die prematurely is that you shit where you live. Period. And if LGF signed off on all this, as Luke suggested, its a clever way to get people talking about a near-dead movie. If not, Cook makes himself a problem not just at Lionsgate, but for any studio that might make a movie with him. Gary Oldman may have seemed to only be burning bridges at DreamWorks on The Contender, but the town shut its doors for years on one of the great actors of his generation. Tony Kaye… still no features in all these years. Edward Norton… running out of people who will hire him and those who do, do it at a price lower than his international value.
And ladies & gents, Dane Cook doesn’t have the talent of any of them and wouldn’t draw flies working on the level of any of them.
By the way… the same is true in the other direction. If a studio starts hanging its talent out to dry, the execs will be out of work soon. Do you know how hard they bite their tongue at studios, not talking about the outrageous behavior of talent when it comes to the release of movies… from marketing to publicity? Do you think any senior publicity person at any studio has ever wanted to do a “press conference” instead of roundtables and 1-on-1s? Do you read in the press, coming from the studio, when the talent decides at the last minute not to do an entire day of interviews that have been booked? No. They grin and bear it because that is the job. You don’t shit where you live… ever… cause you never know when it’s going to come around… and however shitty this industry, if you want to play, you have to be in the muck.
This “I’m a rebel” shit is purely for suckers.
“Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, “My Best Friends Girl,” is the best / funniest film I’ve done yet. It’s got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It’s a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.”
He didn’t badmouth the studio. He even said it’s the funniest movie of his career. He just ripped the poster to shreds. Gary Oldman’s beef wasn’t with DreamWorks marketing. He publicly bitched about the final product and they way his character was changed in post. Do you think Gary Oldman would have gotten in a lot of trouble if he wrote a blog about The Contender poster? Marketing is really important in this town and it can make or break your movie, but come on…
And Poland, this isn’t a movie where Cook becomes a pussy at the end. He stays a dick. See, the poster tricked you, too.
Also, this is all in an effort to get more people to see the movie. Oldman was hurting his movie.
I think Dane Cook is lucky to even be on any poster. That dude is not funny.
Can I just ask a silly question? Is everyone laughing at Daina’s post as much as I?
And even Lex G’s posts are hilarious. Is he for real? Is it someone’s alter ego? I’m new around here, but the comment section on this blog is hilarious.
I’m sure its not quite what D-Pole wants it to be, but there seem to be four people who go back and forth on the blog all day.
Pretty funny.
I am helping but to notice that the person with most brains here LexG. So hello to you sir, and I hope you find well.
For as Lionsgate saying you say he will make no more films, I say NAY! All of you wait to see that Dane will become bigger star than Science’s Tom Cruz!
As for fat comedians you speak of here in, I say fat is not funny, fat simply sads. Dane Cook has no fat, and has face and body to be so complete and stellar. Is perhaps the men on here jealous of the looks of this easy comedy’s GOD???
I know friends, and myself- to “bone” Dane Cook in the most of ways. Perhaps this problem with him come from hides of homosex in the feelings. HAH TO YOU FOR WANTING IN SECRET!
Thank you and I still come to back.
-Daina
I try to make this to comment, and it erase. I should try until it goes.
I say to liars:
Liongate having less of Dane stupids! You laugh to the grave when you see that Dane to become famouser than Science’s Tom Cruz even!!! Step to Sides mr. Pit! Cook come to take your women, childs and careers in filming!
I have been much thinking about you all for past days, and I to believe (along with friends) that you all have jealous. Dane cook look good, have nice face, and more maney than like of you see in entire span of living!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or perhaps you have some of the feelings of sex for him and hide behind mean words like the American bigot does.
I know that to my friends and family, we would all love to recieve certain “bone” from Dane. I NOT LIE!!! Please do not pretend that you feel different- it only explains all of this hatred because it could not be understood how you think someone so funny for laughs and hurt is not.
I will still check this writing, and I ask origional post to please apologise to Cook and fans, includes myself! INFACT I MUST MAKE THIS TO DEMAND!
-Daina
LexG’s new alter ego is funnier than he is.
Of course Lionsgate isn’t making anymore Dane Cook movies. They just announced that they’re no longer producing “torture porn.”
The retards have spoken, they love LexG!
Lex, this could be the start of a career for you.
“that the person with most brains here LexG”
Lex might disagree.
“My question is, is this a Dane Cook fan or someone trying to make fun of Dane Cook fans?”
Jeff, if it IS Dane COok it’s the best comedy the microcephalic douchebag has ever done. He should claim it for his own quick so he can be funny once.
Mutiny, I have a friend who thinks he’s probably working on Saw 6, so your information may be incorrect.
Just watched the red-band. They saved the best joke for last.
“All of you wait to see that Dane will become bigger star than Science’s Tom Cruz!”
I may print that on a t-shirt.
This to only my good friend LexG
I look for you in the network like you say to do- can not find. You sir and I be friends off of this horrible place. Please advise on how I add you to friends on your space.
This to only my new enemies on this blog excuse:
Still I wait for apology. I think of you all for all night long because you not know laughter, and my heart goes out for that. I pray happiness find you and jealous leaves minds and souls.
Perhaps smartly Obama choose Dane Cook for running mate! What a wonderful country you then have!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!
I keep to sign back in Thanks.
-Daina
I am enjoying this one much more than the other one.
You know not where you speak, infidelites. Dane is the GOD!
Your are in jealisy and it make you green like the bitter snake! My entire family like to bone the Dane. Cosin, sister, mother. My dog as also. Dane bone all and laugh, and for this you hate.
Haters! You all smell like old rotten sock. But the Dane has no smell, except to smell of lust and victory. And no fat.
I will not sleep until you are all love the Dane. It is a sad world where Dane is not loved by all. For this I nightmare! Apologize for nightmare and I will forgive.
Thank you all for listen and have a nice day.
******
This is harder than it looks. Gotta be for real.
haiku might be less taxing.
love brought a locust
DaneCookForLife swarms the blog
don’t sleep! Love the Dane