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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB Wednesday

Y’all loaded up the last one.. here’s more space… can we keeps the CAPS to an occasional screed, please? (Though it is great to see you all fighting without abusing.)
I will write on Rev Road from something other than this iPhone, but the short stroke is that it doesn’t make it to the very serious ambitions that it aspires to… Mendes just isn’t a hard guy (even if he gets another young actress to show her boobs for no reason)… He is a curveball guy and the reason why the Michael Shannon performance kills is that he is the only person whose inner passion we really get… he is the Cold Mountain Zellweger of the piece… had Mendes had the cajones to show the look on Leo’s face when he is having sex, not for something sexy, but so we could see what his inner angst is, then you would be on the road to Virgina Wolfe or August: Osage County or even Mad Men, my son.

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96 Responses to “BYOB Wednesday”

  1. Not showing it is the point, David. It’s a reflection of the repression. Come on.
    Also, “doesn’t reach what it aspires to be” continues to be the most lazy one-off review opener of web criticism. I’m as guilty as the next guy, but reading it here — empty.

  2. LexG says:

    I am glad that the guy is about to get some LONG-OVERDUE recognition, but MICHAEL SHANNON has been OWNING up the works for almost a decade now; Think I first started noticing him around the time of his plum supporting parts in TIGERLAND and PEARL HARBOR, then as Basinger’s much-younger prick boyfriend in 8 MILE.
    And though it’s a love-it-or-hate-it movie, dude went ALL OUT in Friedkin’s “Bug,” keeping pace with Judd’s “Repulsion”-esque hysterics. That was some COMMITTED acting. And in just those brief moments of “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead,” dude has this awesome, intimidating give-and-take with Ethan Hawke; What an awesome scene.
    Hell, he was actually kind of committed, believable and entertaining as a white-trash low-life in an extended bit in “Bad Boys 2.” Guy RULES and while it’s a shame he’s evaded critical appreciation thus far– tellingly by appearing in AWESOME SHIT that’s too edgy, street or crass for tweedy mainstream critics– glad to see he’ll finally get some recognition, albeit for BRONZED OSCAR BAIT SHIT that the Kenneth Turans of the world can better appreciate than some legit OWNAGE.
    Hey, who shows their tits?

  3. jeffmcm says:

    “doesn’t reach what it aspires to be” is kind of a long way off from having “something wrong with its’ soul” or however that phrase went from the other day.

  4. LexG says:

    I don’t know that I should admit this because she’s a pretty great actress and probably a little… er, “heartier” looking than my usual type, but Winslet in “Little Children” gave me the HUGEST BONER EVER.
    Like, that shit was PALPABLE… I won’t go into more detail because someday I’ll probably be offered costarring roles opposite THE WINS, but if Todd Field (is that his name? I don’t know or care) was trying convey the literal sensation of taxing that hot-ass squizz, well, WELL DONE, sir.

  5. LexG says:

    Oh yeah, it also OWNED when bitch-ass, douche-ass NO-CHARISMA WHITE BREAD DOUCHE Patrick Wilson tried to SKATEBOARD and got his MATTHEW MODINE WHITEBREAD ASS *OWNED.*
    Seriously, if but ONE OF YOU can find me a PATRICK WILSON *FAN* in ALL OF AMERICA, *ONE PERSON* who’s ever said “OH, THE NEW *WILSON* IS OUT THIS FRIDAY,” then MAYBE you’ve unearthed the one good reason why my HILARIOUS, AWESOME, EDGY, FUNNY, CREATIVE ASS *doesn’t* have a SCREEN ACTORS GUILD CARD.
    And I like PATRICK WILSON just fine, but the dude is like a NEGATIVE 8 BILLION ON THE CHARISMA METER, and I can SWEAR TO YOU I’d be more fascinating and provocative on screen.
    LEXG for SAG and WGA in 2009, make it happen.
    And it WILL. BELIEVE that.

  6. lazarus says:

    “Hey, who shows their tits?”
    What do you know? He buried the lead.
    DP, four posts in and Lex has shoved your “ease off on the caps” request right back in your face. See what happens when you ask nicely? Will you 86 this jackass already and be done with it?

  7. LYT says:

    Patrick Wilson’s in Watchmen, where he plays a dude who needs a superhero costume to get it up, and then gets it on with Malin Akerman. That earns him additional manly props, plus he has his own action figure coming out soon.

  8. LexG says:

    Yeah, Lou from Caddyshack, and Watchmen has the DOUCHIEST fucking cast of any superhero movie ever; Think BILLY CRUDUP, or JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN, sell any tickets either?
    Billy Crudup is on the 12th year of his NOBODY GIVES A SHIT tour. NOT ONE SINGLE FAN IN ALL OF AMERICA. Just like Patrick “Modine 2.0” Wilson.
    Lazarus, get the Bozack, son. I ain’t going nowhere.

  9. Stella's Boy says:

    I like Billy Crudup. I am a big fan of Jesus’ Son and Waking the Dead as well as Almost Famous. He’s a good actor. I like Patrick Wilson too. He’s great in Hard Candy, Little Children and Angels in America. I didn’t think box office draw was the same good actor Lex.

  10. eoguy says:

    Does anybody have a favourite directorial debut this year? There weren’t a lot of standouts for me. I guess the best one was Nicholas Fackler who did Lovely, Still.

  11. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Shannon’s work in BUG is tremendous. Wild Billy proved that he still has a sack the size of watermelon. BUG made me forgive him for THE GUARDIAN. Judd is terrific in it too but I still think she’s never topped her gonzo performance in NORMAL LIFE and the image of her slashing at her vajayjay won’t fade.
    Lex check go check out SHOTGUN STORIES if you haven’t for a white trash Shannon encore.
    DP is beyond correct about QUANTUM OF SOLACE. The action sequences have terrible coverage.. all hiss and roar and no cohesion. I turned to a friend after the opening and said ‘what the fuck is going on?’ they just shook their head. There is zero emotion to these action sequences, because you simply can’t connect. There is zero connection to the entire film because the emotion and new direction of Bond is flat. Where was the sense of fun in this film. I prefer my Bond to be escapist. This outing is an okay action film but even at a reduced length it feels long and its all so bloody predictable. Made me long for someone to run along crocodiles.
    And Olga like Fox in Transformers is transfixing but won’t win many awards in the future. Pretty title sequence though.

  12. bmcintire says:

    Lex – please keep your squack-level summations to the gender you want so badly to hit. Your admission that “hearty” (fuck you BTW) Winslet gave you a boner notwithstanding, you are attracted to the lowest-level anti-charsima cooze in Hollywood: Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Jessica What-the-fuck-ever? Please.
    Patrick Wilson, Billy Crudup and Jeffrey Dean Morgan are supremely tappable, and could easily out-fuck you with their dicks tied behind their backs.
    And your creepy pedophile attraction to “K-STEW” needs to grind to a mothefucking halt like yesterday.

  13. jesse says:

    eoguy, I was a big fan of In Bruges, which I think was the feature debut — although since the director is an established playwright, maybe it doesn’t count.
    Related: I was talking with a friend awhile ago and we were trying to figure out when the next generation of big, semi-mainstream filmmakers is coming, or who they might be. I love Rian Johnson (though I haven’t seen Brothers Bloom yet), but there aren’t many other recent debuts that completely blew me away. There was a big boom in the late mid-to-late nineties when Jonze, Gondry, Wes and P.T. Anderson, Payne, Russell, Mendes, Baumbach, Boyle, the Wachowskis, and Nolan all either debuted or came to prominence, and it seems a lot quieter since then. But maybe I’m just not paying attention to the right stuff. I feel like I see a fair amount, though if anything worthwhile gets neglected, it tends to be the super-indie stuff that plays at a crummy theater for a couple of weeks before moving onto a crummier one and then DVD.
    So who am I missing? Who has had a first film sometime after the turn of the millenium and continues to show a lot of promise? David Gordon Green, definitely, but I can’t think of a lot of peers for him and Johnson the way I Fincher, Jonze, Gondry, etc., all seem to “fit.”
    Mumblecore doesn’t count, although I’ve liked a lot of those movies, especially the Duplass Brothers.

  14. jbf81 says:

    TWILIGHT is actually getting good reviews, Jefreey Wells quite like it

  15. sky_capitan says:

    I remember Jeff Wells review of Panic Room… he wrote (as I recall) how it took him awhile to realize that Kirsten Stewart was a girl, not a boy. I’m sure he didn’t have that problem with Twilight. 🙂
    $36.99 for the Wall-E 3disc Blu-ray too much to pay from BestBuy? Yes. But I still bought it. Hellboy 2 came with the digital copy, but Wall-E I had to *pay* $4 more than the 2 disc non-digital copy version. *annoyed*

  16. jbf81 says:

    LOL, Roger Ebert liked it too, he just gave the film 2 and half stars

  17. sky_capitan says:

    **KRISTEN Stewart, not KIRSTEN

  18. jeffmcm says:

    2 and a half stars = Thumbs Down (if he still did that kind of thing).
    I am also a fan of In Bruges and Billy Crudup.
    Lex is the Joe Lieberman of this blog.

  19. bmcintire says:

    Sorry Lex, K STEW is apparently all of 18 and a half! My apologies for the clearly unwarranted pedophile crack.

  20. berg says:

    Michael Shannon in Before the devil knows you’re dead … “Okay Chico. You mind if I call you Chico?”

  21. LexG says:

    The critics are making their voices heard and the sound is deafening: TWILIGHT OWNS. I have tickets to a midnight Thursday, then two shows Friday, four shows, Saturday, and three shows Sunday.
    Any megaproducer or megadirector like Spielberg or Bay or Bruckheimer would be well advised to snap up K-STEW a.s.a.p. for their next summer blockbuster.
    The Female Brando.
    McDouche, I don’t understand that Lieberman crack?

  22. lazarus says:

    I think JMAC means that if there were any justice, you’d get booted off this blog, but because a handful of fools speak up on your behalf you’re still around.

  23. For a good 4 months any time you said “Billy Cruddup” in our house, my dog would perk up his ears and turn his head sideways and stare at you. If you said “BillyCruddupBillyCruddupBillyCruddup” in succession like that, he’d start barking and running in circles. We were going to youtube it but then he just stopped it.
    He must be still pissed about the whole cheating on Mary-Louise Parker while she was 7 months pregnant thing. My dog holds a grudge.

  24. lazarus says:

    Have you tried saying “John Edwards”?

  25. EOTW says:

    Lex not using caps is like a day w/o sunshine!
    Hey, completely off topic of this site, but doesn anyone have a Zune. I have 4 Ipod shuffles, a 30G Ipod that I rarely use, but a friend wants to sell me his hardly used Zune80 for like nothing and I’m suddenly tempted after checking them out. Apple is starting to just get to me. It’s everywhere. And I don’t even have an Iphone yet. Any of you kind folks got one? Reviews?
    Hey, Lex, Kidman’s ass in EYES WIDE SHUT OWNED!!!

  26. David Poland says:

    Fascinating as your criticism of my criticism is, Kris… bzzt! nope.
    Movies about repression – which this movie really is not, even if the book is – do not play well on screen when “they don’t show.” It’s like you think they are supposed to play some kind of game of “we know what it is… you know what it is… they know what it is… but all we are going to give you is the explosive screaming when the truth is so obscured by rage that it doesn’t mean much more than a chance to chew scenery.
    Which, again, is what brings us back to the Michael Shannon character. The truth teller. Assumed insane, but saner than the rest. Great and classic device.
    The movie this one really wants to be is Little Children… and it isn’t close. Many of the same beats in storytelling. But look at the very real emotion on display in LC… the mother, the pain of the sick child, the frustrations of the guy with the “perfect life,” the wife who so desperately wanted more and seeks a real answer.
    Rev Road is emotionally deep for people who don’t feel comfortable feeling their emotions… a repeat of Mendes’ Road To Perdition, where the original text had religion and real violence, which were disappeared into production design (and some very good acting).

  27. jeffmcm says:

    Since I disliked Little Children, I am now officially more excited for Rev Road.

  28. Glenn Kenny says:

    This is what I love about the blogosphere. Guys who write stuff like “Mendes just isn’t a hard guy (even if he gets another young actress to show her boobs for no reason)” and still, for some unfathomable reason, get to think of themselves as smart, sophisticated, critically acute. “Boobs.” Seriously. I’m sorry, are you Brett Sommers? Is this “Match Game”?

  29. IOIOIOI says:

    EOTW, to quote Marshall; “Yeah, I will go and get my Zune. No. I’m kidding. I got it on my Ipod.” That pretty much sums up the coolness and the compatibility of the ZUNE.
    They are quality devices, but I would rather give Apple more markertshare. They are at least not Microsoft. The makers of inept gaming systems, MP3 players that people treat like a plague, and a operating system whose name they had to change to get people to like it. Yeah. Go buy a new freakin Ipod. They are classy.

  30. IOIOIOI says:

    Oh yeah Glenn: WELCOME TO THE MODERN WORLD OF JOURNALISM! WAH WAH WAH WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! This is just how Poland rolls. I would not put it past him to roll the same way. If he wrote for a magazine. He just has his own views of film, filmmaking, and the business of filmmaking, that make him rather interesting in their own way. Although, they can lead to some serious douchebaggery on his party like his inability to BOW DOWN TO THE BAT! Nevertheless; this is who he is. If you have a problem with it. Well… uh… Kristen Stewart has a thing for wearing multiple t-shirts at one time. What’s up with that?

  31. T. Holly says:

    Why do I need “the look on Leo’s face when he is having sex” when I get to see him crying later? Let’s just talk about the “glimmer of hope” ending, natch.

  32. LexG says:

    IO asked: “Kristen Stewart has a thing for wearing multiple t-shirts at one time. What’s up with that?”
    Because she OWNS.

  33. jeffmcm says:

    You left ‘too many shirts’ between the S and the . up above, Lex.

  34. LexG says:

    I have a sad feeling that come Monday, I’m going to be like Costner in WATERWORLD when he finally found dry land and didn’t know what to do with himself.
    After I’ve seen Twilight 15 times and been proven right about the 125 MILLION OPENING WEEKEND and everyone in the world is bowing to the Stew like they should’ve been all along… what will I have left to rant about?
    Many of you may just be getting your wish, as my current amped-up energy will likely be dialed down in the near future.
    Oh, wait, what’s that? One month till VALKYRIE takes the world BY STORM and catches all the Oscar prognosticators by storm????

  35. T. Holly says:

    I sure hope stalking Twilighters gets LexG laid.
    Kristen Stewart “is among that rare group of actresses who are more beautiful in person than on film. Her eyes suggest the flashing lights on a Bluetooth. She also wears her recently acquired adulthood like a pair of boots she’s breaking in.”
    Plus she’s got teen spirit:
    “I have a couple more posts on IMDB now, or a few more photos on Wireimage, but what else does it do for me, besides facilitate me making the next movie I want to make? Nothing.”
    But isn’t that something? “It’s everything!” she says. “It’s totally everything, but that’s not what people want to know. They don’t care. ‘How does it feel?’ It doesn’t feel like anything. ‘Wow, this is an exciting time for you …’ Yeah. My movie’s coming out. I’m working on something else now.”,0,3674558.story?page=1
    And she’s working next for her mother. Go get ’em Kristen:
    Parents: Jules and John Stewart. John has been a stage manager for shows such as The Weakest Link. Jules has written a script that she will direct in January. Kristen will star.,0,5506543.story

  36. jeffmcm says:


  37. a_loco says:

    “Lex is the Joe Lieberman of this blog.”
    Does that make Jeff the Keith Olbermann?

  38. The appearance of Glenn Kenny on anyone’s blog ups the quality immediately.
    I really thought Little Children was overrated by critics. Winslet is great, but Solondz’s Happiness is a far more complex (and funnier) film.
    I appreciated th frankness of the sexuality, but it still felt a little too tasteful. The best thing about the movie was the sound design. I particularly loved the scene where Winslet and a neighbor go for a walk in the evening. The sounds of the wind, srinlers, bugs created a sense of place beautifully.
    The famous neighborhood swimming pool sequence was a real buts, a stunt re-creation of a sequence from Jaws that just felt forced. And, yes, the skateboarding scene is an embarassment.
    Did anyone watch last night’s episode of The Shield? Amazing. My top 5 shows of the year are:
    The Wire
    Mad Men
    The Shield
    Right now The Shield could easily overtake Mad Men. And this season of Entourage is seriously underrated. Seeing Vince having to prove himself has created real tension on the show. And Jerry Ferrara has proven to be a fine comic actor.
    Next year will be all about Rescue Me.

  39. LexG says:

    They need to remake LETHAL WEAPON but with K-STEW and Evan Rachel Wood as Riggs and Murtaugh.
    That would rule.

  40. leahnz says:

    re: little children
    ‘The famous neighborhood swimming pool sequence was a real buts, a stunt re-creation of a sequence from Jaws that just felt forced.’
    funny, i thought it was more akin to the ‘baby ruth-masquerading-as-a-poo’ swimming pool evacuation sequence from caddyshack ;P

  41. T. Holly says:

    That was pretty EWW jeffmcm, but the rest of the first piece is much the same as what Justin Chang said. LexG, go to AA to meet women, like a normal person.

  42. jeffmcm says:

    Whuh? ‘Eww’ was in reference to Lex having sex with anything besides his own appendages. You’re right, though, that AA will be full of needy, unstable women (and in this town, some of them will be actresses and models).

  43. EOTW says:

    IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO…Yeah, I think I am going with the Zune. The price is unbeatable for that much storage compared to any higher end Ipod, and I guess I am going through an Apple backlash. As i said, I only 4 or 5 Ipods and am just jonesing for something else. This thing has caught my eye. what can I say?
    Please never ban Leg. Fellas, even if you can’t stand him, youk now he makes you smile and makes this blog better and MUCH more entertaining.
    Finally, Jimmy the G, completely agree about LOST, MM, and WIRE (which is always going to be the greatest show put on TV, ever. Period. Yes, IT OWNS ALL). I have yet to see THE SHIELD, but I’ll see it soon enough. I just got into LOST this year and watched all four seasons in one month. It was crazy and I’m in love with that damn show. Michael Emerson and Terry O Quinn are GODS.
    True story: My brother teaches in Buffalo and he was in NYC a couple months ago for some academic thing and he and a friend were having dinner at this place and who should be sitting a few feet from them but Ben Linus himself! My brother kinda freaked because Emerson was alone and just kinda looking around, staring and then his wife and kid showed up. But my mrother just thought he was the coolest guy around.

  44. IOIOIOI says:

    I love how the Wire cannot even have a day to itself from HBO for it’s COMPLETE SERIES BOX! They have to release DEADWOOD’S BOX on the same bloody day. The poor Wire never got the love it deserved. Shameful.
    Let me also add that nothing beats Mad Men because of Don Draper. He’s easily the best male character on TV right now. His frailty alone makes him more interesting than just about every other ALPHA MALE on TV. You throw in Peggy, Joan, and everyone else, and you have yourself the best TV show on the air. Until the Ventures return or we head back to that island.
    Oh yeah… fuck Entourage. IF I wanted to watch a bunch of east coast scumbags get along in life. I would move to LA and hang out in certain parts of town. Luckily for me I am not interested in east coast scumbags doing anything more than being comedians on the Howard Stern show or longshoremen. So the heck with the conflict. The sooner it’s over. The quicker HBO can bring forth another crazy ass original series like True Blood or the TWILIGHT SERIES FOR ADULTS! Only in America could two assholes get rich off of Joss Whedon’s work.

  45. EOTW says:

    I tuned out on ENTOURAGE years ago. Just too vapid for my tastes. Yes, MM is indeed the best on TV right now. Jon Hamm is a crazy great actor. From St. Louis to boot. Yeah, Jan 21st can’t get here fast enough. They put the promo poster for the 5th season of LOST out today or yesterday or whatever. I geeked out over it, I just am in love with crazy show. It’s the tits.

  46. Jeff says:

    It Goes…
    The Wire
    The Shield
    Friday Night Lights
    Mad Men
    I love Mad Men but I am sure I would appreciate it even more if I lived through that decade.
    I met Bubs from The Wire while walking last week. Hands down the coolest celebrity sighting I have had while living in LA.
    So sad The Shield is over next week, it was hard enough losing The Wire a few months ago.

  47. IOIOIOI says:

    It goes:
    The Venture Brothers
    Mad Men
    BSG (even when it’s filler… it’s good stuff)
    HIMYM (It’s like a sitcom. If a sitcom did not suck.)

  48. EOTW says:

    IOIOIOIO…agreed on HIMYM. Stopped watching BSG years ago. Wore its welcome out with me. Would’ve OWNED if it had just been 2 years tops.

  49. movieman says:

    Another terrible day at the movies: for a second there, I thought I was back at the Toronto Film Festival.
    The first thirty minutes of “Australia” are so jaw-droppingly terrible I thought it was Baz’s idea of a put-on. While it improves exponentially (albeit only marginally), the whole thing left me utterly cold. And there are at least three endings, none of which is especially satisfying or memorable.
    “Out of Africa 2” this most definitely isn’t.
    Far worse–and easily one of the year’s top-10 stinkers–is “Four Christmases.” It was a cool idea to hire Seth Gordon instead of a sitcom-trained hack, but Gordon does just about everything wrong here (even the lighting is atrocious). There have been some terrific mean-spirited holiday movies before (“The Ref,” “Bad Santa”); “4 X” definitely isn’t one of them.
    Except for a throwaway scene where V/Vaughn gets all Method Actor-y while playing Joseph in a church nativity paegant, there isn’t a single laugh (or even smile) in the whole damn movie.
    The biggest problem is that the two lead characters are so intensely disagreeable we don’t give a damn what happens to them throughout the course of 78 excruciating pre-end-credits minutes.
    “Four Christmases” instantly joins the holiday-movies-from-hell ranks of “Deck the Halls,” “Christmas With the Kranks” and “Surviving Christmas” (which is actually the best of this pitiful bunch). Bah humbug indeed.

  50. IOIO…you are THE MAN.
    VENTURE BROTHERS is the 2nd best show on TV or maaaaybe tied with MAD MEN. It’s just so fucking funny and creative and different and cool. I finally saw the season ender the other day and I was dying laughing. I shall miss #24 though.

  51. Nick Rogers says:

    movieman: I, too, saw “Four Christmases” today. Like “Step Brothers,” it epitomizes a lot of what sucks about modern American families and expectations today. Unlike “Step Brothers,” it was a joyless turd. It has one brilliant scene – Favreau and his wife’s round of “Taboo” was more of the demented glee the film needed. For me, the Joseph thing went on too long. Jesus jumped-up Christ, Reese Witherspoon gets drop-kicked by a child in a bounce house. I agree with you that “Surviving Christmas” easily is the best of that bunch, although I’m sure this will make a buttload of cash. Also, did you catch Steve Wiebe’s cameo?

  52. samias says:

    Yo Poland, writing “Rev Road is emotionally deep for people who don’t feel comfortable feeling their emotions” is like saying “Phantom of the Opera, Dreamgirls, and Sweeney Todd is Oscar-bait for gay guys who can’t bring themselves to admit they’re gay.” It’s unnecessarily personal and seems intended to end discussion rather than spark it – a sad turn for a blogmeister even if he is hard-pressed for time.
    Jimmy the Gent, I bow to your TV taste. I think this season of The Shield has been even more under-appreciated than the first seasons of The Wire.
    And please don’t dissuade LexG from using caps. It alerts non-fans which posts can be skipped.

  53. Bashing Entourage is one of the easiest things to do. The Hollowood setting is just that:setting. Entourage is one of the best portraits of male friendship ever.
    The main theme of the show is loyalty, even when times are rough. Yes, Drama is a self-absorbed idioty, but he’s loyal to his brother and friends. The same with Turtle.
    E is actaully one of the more reasonable managers I’ve seen.
    Ari is loyal to his family, his clients, and Lloyd.
    What’s brilliant about the show is the “ruthlessness” that takes place in Hollywood is not sacrificed.
    Entourage is about staying loyal in a world where that’s quickly becoming a liability than a virtue.

  54. LexG says:

    Chiklis’ acting when he spilled to the ICE chick last night on The Shield was *beyond* world-class, especially the long moment he took before going through with it; Just incredible stuff, and sometimes Goggins is such a powerhouse on that show it’s easy to sometimes undersell how awesome Chiklis is. That was the performance of a fucking lifetime yesterday…
    So naturally he won’t even be nominated, and either James Spader or Hugh Lurie will win for the eight billionth time for doing their same shtick as “Colorful Workplace Asshole Who’d Be Fired In 11 Minutes Flat in the Real World.”

  55. LexG says:

    Hey, is that the guy who played Sue in SWINGERS in Four Christmases? He was one of the main dudes in the ’96 film and the only one not to have a high-profile on-camera career since. That’s kinda cool, if he’s back on screen with Vaughn, cause that dude kinda owned.
    Who was it here (or HE?) who said beware of any post-Wedding Crashers comedy whose trailers and posters use that RED WACKY LETTERING AGAINST WHITE BACKDROP FONT? It’s a nearless foolproof theory.
    Curiously, they’re PUMPED for this movie on some neo-con film blogs. Must be because Vince Vaughn was on The Factor once, or because it has the word “Christmas” in the title instead of “Holidays.” Oh, no, wait. Jon Voight is in it. So that’s why they’re talking it up.

  56. leahnz says:

    ‘swingers’ is obviously a little gem, but i must admit to having a huge weakness for vaughn’s brilliant perf as ‘ricky’ in the re-team with favreau in ‘made’. he’s gotta be one of the most annoying-yet-endearing-shittalking-motormouth-insufferable-idiot-friends in cinema history; you just want to throttle him and give him a big hug at the same time, not easy to achieve!
    movieman, what a bummer. (i must be at least partially demented that one of my favourite christmas movies ever is ‘bad santa’, cringe-inducing hilarity. the end is a bit shit but i forgive it)

  57. yancyskancy says:

    I’ve never seen The Shield, but I always thought it was odd that Chiklis won an Emmy for season one (a first for basic cable, I believe), then never managed to rate so much as a nomination thereafter.
    But Lex, FYI, Hugh Laurie has never won an Emmy for playing House. He did get a Golden Globe though, I think.

  58. LexG says:

    The only thing that makes House bearable in small doses is OLIVIA WILDE, who is TOTAL OWNAGE.
    And speaking of FX series, yeah, she probably doesn’t fit the standard Lex-chick prototype that much, but ROSE BYRNE *OWNS*.
    Anybody here know if she’d go out with me?

  59. Jerry Colvin says:

    Not if she reads this blog.

  60. EOTW says:

    Lex…Hugh Lurie has yet to win an Emmy. A crime. Listneing to Neil Young at Massey Hall 1991 in pristine LOSSLESS. WOW.

  61. Stella's Boy says:

    I have never seen The Shield or Mad Men. I know I need to rectify that. My favorite TV shows this year are The Wire, True Blood, Dexter, Entourage and 30 Rock. I completely agree with Jimmy the Gent’s view of Entourage. It’s had its share of weak episodes but I think it’s at its best at the moment. The few episodes of House I have seen did nothing for me, nor did Laurie.

  62. movielocke says:

    I think it’s a bit of a travesty noone is acknowledging the stunning work of the little boys in Slumdog Millionaire. if they were american actors they’d be getting recognition for their roles and performances. particularly Ayush Mahesh Khedekar as Youngest Jamal and Ashutosh Lobo Gajiwala as Middle Salim. Too bad they have such funny, hard to remember names and will likely never be in a film seen in this country again. Those are such good reasons to ignore them. :-/

  63. movieman says:

    I missed the Wiebe cameo, Nick; guess I’ll have to see “Four Christmases” again. (NOT, lol!)
    You’re right about the Nativity scene being a tad overextended, but it was the only moment in the entire film that gave me a mild chortle. The thing that was most depressing about this farrago–aside from its visual and psychological ugliness and the dearth of laughs–is the waste of so many terrific actors. Duvall, Spacek, Steenburgen, Witherspoon, Vaughn, etc., are hung out to dry by inept direction and a putrid script that wouldn’t have passed muster as a seven-minute 12:50 A.M. bit on “SN.”
    Maybe I should have seen “4 X” before “Australia.” I’m pretty sure that I would have been kinder to Luhrmann’s lollygagging lollapalooza if the screening order had been reversed.
    Two more points I wanted to make about “Out of Australia:”
    I really disliked the on-and-off narration by the androgynous Aboriginal kid (half of which is incomprehensible because of his thick accent), and the CGI is remarkably unconvincing for such a costly film. It’s the most bloated “Is that all there is?” since Jackson’s “King Kong.”
    Euros might dig this, but I fully expect “Australia” to lay a major egg in the states ($35-million-max?).
    Don’t be surprised if the fourth weekend of “Role Models” outgrosses it Thanksgiving w-end.
    And whatever “4 X” banks during the upcoming 5-day holiday weekend should be about it: word of mouth promises to be brutal.
    FYI: Todd McCarthy posted his Luhrmann review overnite. While mixed overall, it’s considerably more sympathetic than mine.

  64. movieman says:

    That should’ve read “SNL,” not “SN.”
    Sorry, gang.

  65. Nick Rogers says:

    movieman: Wiebe played Kristin Chenoweth’s husband. In his introductory scene, he was playing what looked like an Xbox. It was nice of Seth Gordon to do that. Too bad it was in such a disastrous movie. Seriously, Vaughn and Witherspoon were so unlikeable that Billy Mitchell from “King of Kong” would have been a preferable romantic lead – mullet and all.

  66. movieman says:

    OK, I remember the character now.
    Did Wiebe even have any dialogue? I don’t seem to recall him saying…anything, lol. Although considering the level of the script (four credited writers, no less), Wiebe should probably consider himself lucky. (You’re right about Billy Mitchell: he was more appealing in “Kong” than Vaughn or Witherspoon are here.)
    For me, the movie flew off the rails in that abysmal opening faux bar pick-up scene (ick, ick, ick!) and never recovered.

  67. movieman says:

    …returning to the whole “RR” thread that originally sparked this
    Does anyone else believe that DW/P-Vantage is making a mistake by waiting until December 26th to open the film (in very limited release)?
    After “The Soloist” got yanked from its November 21st perch (btw, did anyone else notice that DW recently gave “Soloist” a third release date, this time skedded for late April?), wouldn’t it have made sense to open “RR” exclusively on that date, thereby getting a jump on the other major December Oscar players (“Milk,” “Doubt,” “Frost/Nixon,” “Benjamin Button”)?
    Of course, considering the fact that Mendes shot the film in the summer of 2007, I’m wondering if a fall festival launch–and October release–wouldn’t have been an even smarter option.
    I realize that ploy didn’t work for “Little Children” two years ago, but surely the Vantage/DW team has more marketing savvy than the New Line folks who fumbled the “LC” ball big time.
    Maybe it’s just me, but it would have been nice to had the option of at least one legitimate Oscar player before the holiday stampede.

  68. Stellas Boy-
    I’ve never seen The Shield either and now it seems like it’ll take a lifetime to catch up on. So I would recommend you get season 1 of Mad Men now before it ends up being 7 seasons later and you’re playing catch up….

  69. Nick Rogers says:

    Wiebe might have had dialogue, but probably forgot it while staring at Kristin Chenoweth. That was another unlikeable, lecherous thing about Vaughn’s character – clearly trying to sneak a peek at Chenoweth’s knockers while she was breastfeeding. Man, trying to make us root for Vaughn and Witherspoon is one of the most noxious plots a rom-com has seen recently. The more I talk about that movie, the more I hate it.

  70. movieman says:

    Nick- Any movie that attempts to wring laughs from 2–count ’em–scenes of infants projectile vomiting all over Reese Witherspoon is guilty until proven innocent.
    Notice how the filmmakers abandoned a (potentially) amusing bit about Spacek’s grandkids getting high after ingesting her pot brownies?
    And what about the clumsy attempt at milking (no pun intended) mirth from Witherspoon and her sister’s breast pump?
    What a wretched, worthless film.
    It makes a crappy rom-com like “License to Wed” seem like Lubitsch by comparison. At least Krasinski and Moore played appealing characters, even if they weren’t given anything remotely funny to do.

  71. jeffmcm says:

    “2–count ’em–scenes of infants projectile vomiting all over Reese Witherspoon is guilty until proven innocent. ”
    Sounds like a mark in its favor, to me.

  72. movieman says:

    And I’ve seen better lighting in XTube videos than in “Four Christmases.”

  73. Kristopher Tapley says:

    Personally, I thought Little Children was terrible. But let me say:
    “that it doesn’t mean much more than a chance to chew scenery”
    Everything before that sentence is, again, the point of the piece. It is not trying to be Little Children, it is trying to be more truthful than Little Children. And it succeeds by understanding the authenticity of ambiguity, where Little Children thought it had found dramatic payoff in the form of emotional spectacle, making it considerably more manipulative. But the strings are terribly visible.

  74. T. Holly says:

    When are you just going to write the review you want to read already?

  75. David Poland says:

    Gee, Glenn The Blogger… maybe if you thought about what I am saying, you wouldn’t be so worried about the word, “boob.”
    Do you think there is a important story point in Ms Kazan showing her breasts in the middle of a movie that pointedly exposes no one else? Will you explain it to poor, li’l ignorant, not good enough to work in the same universe as you, me?
    Sorry print died… I was on the web long before there were blogs… didn’t spend my career promoted/covered by a big publisher… and if you don’t think I am smart or sophisticated, well, why would I give a damn, Glenn?
    And Kris… oy. If you see greatness in emptiness, you will have a great future… in naval examination.

  76. jeffmcm says:

    Which, of course, means being a doctor on a battleship or submarine.

  77. LexG says:

    Probably too far down and nobody here would care about this movie enough to make the effort, but did anyone check out “J.C.V.D.”?
    Given the critical raves (high 80s on the Tomatometer) and that phenomenal trailer, I was expecting this rollicking, kaleidoscopic, edgy meta satire of Van Damme’s career;
    He rocks in the movie and proves he could be a great self-aware character actor in bad guy or Eurotrash villain roles.
    But seemed like half the footage from the fun trailer wasn’t even in the finished film, and the bulk of it was some totally generic, on-the-level heist flick. The heist takes up 2/3rds of the movie, and absolutely nothing about that plot is remotely interesting or exciting or involving, the villains are kind of lame, and I just kept waiting for the next amusing or riveting introspective Van Damme flashback.
    Again, Van Damme totally lives up the mainstream hype and raves he’s getting– his monologue OWNS– but why did the director choose to backburner all the meta, fun, surreal, clever shit in favor of some lame “Killing Zoe” bungled robbery flick? And what’s with that drab, light-gold filter they use for the entire flick?

  78. jeffmcm says:

    Isn’t that the Besson Angel-A filter? Or am I thinking of something else?

  79. LexG says:

    I seemed to think Angel-A was in black and white… I could be wrong though (I’ve never seen it in its entirety, just bits and pieces on Starz.)
    J.C.V.D. is this wan, blown-out copper-gold that’s so uninteresting and dusty to look at, it was practically lulling me to sleep.

  80. LexG says:

    BOW to her.

  81. EOTW says:

    LexG’s enthusiasm almost has me buying a ticket for this flick, but, thankfully, my wife is not a teenager, so I might not have to see it.

  82. jeffmcm says:

    LexG: 0 to asshole in 1 hour and 52 minutes (specifically, 5:36 to 7:28pm).

  83. Noah says:

    Now that it’s officially opening day, I can talk freely without breaking an embargo. I can safely say that nobody who has ever seen a vampire movie before or anybody who isn’t younger than fifteen will should like this movie. Whoever said “slownage” sure had it right because this is one long, plodding flick that doesn’t have a single original idea in the whole picture. And Lex, the camera swoons a lot more over Robert Pattinson than Kristen Stewart so you might be a little disappointed…in fact, I think you’ll be extremely disappointed.

  84. leahnz says:

    on the eve of ‘vampires: the next generation’, perhaps this is a good time to pause and reflect with a musical interlude and fond look back at the original teen vampire flick, the one and only donner/schumacher camp horror classic, when men had mullets and women had…even longer mullets. bless
    thou shall not fall…

  85. Kristopher Tapley says:

    “And Kris… oy. If you see greatness in emptiness, you will have a great future… in naval examination.”
    Since you’ve stooped to insults because you can’t stand up for your point of view, allow me to clue you into something: you’ve cornered the market on naval gazing a thousand times over. It has become your essence, and assuredly, your legacy.

  86. christian says:

    Fuck those LOST WILD BOYS.
    Original teen vampire flick?

  87. David Poland says:

    Ohhhh… snap!
    You really shouldn’t bother with me anymore, Kris. Obviously your standards are way higher than I can hope to attain in my years of continuing, inevitable decline.
    Someone… quick… get me my walker… I gotta make a b.m.
    Someone… quick… Glenn Kenny is about to offended to that I can mention a “b.m.” and also do sophisticated analysis of films (and chew gum and walk and break out the financials on every studio and keep them all in neat little piles… all from a BLOG)!
    I am so happy to be in Amsterdam, where so many other sinking relics make me feel at home.

  88. IOIOIOI says:

    I really dug Twilight. It’s another one of those stories that will end up with everyone make themselves better at the end of the day, but those stories seldom if ever bug me. So it’s good for what it is… a female action movie.
    Kim V. pretty much nailed it in her review except for the FX. Which rank as passable. They were trying for something, that Angel did better. Hopefully Katherine checks out this series SOURCE MATERIAL next time.

    Nevertheless; it’s a quality action movie for women. I have no idea if most men will enjoy it because responses like Noah’s are as foreign to me as Portuguese. Even if the men do not go. It’s a female movie. They should be able to carry it over the line to a sequel.
    Oh yeah. Here’s the three little words you must remember for Oscar. Without them… the Oscars become the Tony’s sooner than later. With them… the Oscars have a chance to suck in another generation and generally disappoint them until the next IT flick comes along. Those three words are; “THE DARK KNIGHT.”
    If that movie is put to the side for the absolute SLAG Oscar films hitting the circuit right now. THe Academy has some issues bigger than awarding a movie with shitty bear riding effects the FX Oscar, OVER FUCKING OPTIMUS PRIME! Blood maroons that lot.

  89. leahnz says:

    christian, ‘martin’ certainly is a nasty little piece of work, but i’m not sure i’d classify it as a proper vampire flick for teens…more a ‘delusional psychotic teen rapist slash serial killer who thinks he’s a vampire’ flick for adults…but that’s just me. ‘the lost boys’ is just big, dumb 80’s fun.

  90. frankbooth says:

    Martin is disturbing as hell. Particularly the home invasion scenes.

  91. Nick Rogers says:

    Poland and Kris talking about “naval” gazing sets off Village People connotations I’m not sure they intended.

  92. Kristopher Tapley says:

    Like I said, too bad you have to stoop to insults and can’t talk about the films. Suddenly it’s about me, not the movie. Funny how that happens (and how quick you are to cry when it happens to you).
    So I shouldn’t bother with you because I have a different opinion? Don’t you “feed off” of differing opinions? Isn’t that the bullshit you’ve sold here for years?
    At least Kenny is getting under your skin. Fun to watch you squirm. And dig out your old plastic sword: print died, I’ve been here since 1997, look at me! All of which is getting away from the point, which was (I thought) a conversation about Revolutionary Road. I guess you’re not up to it.

  93. christian says:

    I know THE LOST BOYS is all about 80’s cheese. But I hated it opening night except for Barnard Hughes and one of the most interesting last shots I’ve ever seen in a genre film.
    MARTIN rules. Romero’s reel masterpiece? Maybe.

  94. jeffmcm says:

    Martin is a terrific film, and on some days I agree that it’s Romero’s best over Dawn of the Dead.

  95. Glenn Kenny says:

    Dear David,
    I’m sorry that print died too, particularly as it seems to have been supplanted by a cadre of smug dipshits who can’t even be bothered to copy-edit themselves. Smug dipshits who can talk a good game from their crappily designed web perches, but would most likely fold like a busted harmonium in any face-to-face confrontation.
    It’s true, you didn’t spend your career being promoted/covered by a big publisher. Because you aren’t talented enough to have ever been of interest to any big publisher. This has been another installment of Simple Answers To Stupid (Implied) Questions.
    I say all this because I’m done with you, and pretty much done with your kind. You seem to think you have some idea how I make my living. You don’t know a thing about it, and you won’t.
    Hey, Kris, how’s it hanging? My advice to you: don’t waste any more of your time in these parts.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon