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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

What's Wrong With This Picture?

nine.jpg
At least four of these women qualify as historic beauties of the screen… yet… there is nothing in this image that makes me care a whit about seeing any of them in Nine… not even Judi Dench, who is near undentifiable… and of course, they just didn’t bother to light the sex bomb character played by Kate Hudson. And with due respect to Fergie, seeing the lines of her inner thighs makes me want to ask her to shut her legs, not spread them further. And the all-black thing on a black stage doesn’t play as anything but a bad party at a bad Los Angeles film festival… or the road company of the Pussycat Dolls.
Of course, the thing that is really missing is Daniel Day Lewis in a white suit… which the black and white idea can’t work without… and who provides the life to all of these women in his memories.
No doubt, there will be some good in this film… but this is about as underwhelming a first image for TWC to kick out to the world as I could have ever imagined.
Maybe Rob Marshall is trying to get into the closet.
8women.jpg

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37 Responses to “What's Wrong With This Picture?”

  1. LexG says:

    “What’s wrong with this picture?”
    Most of the chicks are old women.

  2. lazarus says:

    I’m amazed that’s the first thing that came to your mind, instead of boning and owning references to Cruz, Kidman, Cotillard, and Hudson.
    You probably think Fergie’s hot, too.

  3. Hopscotch says:

    Marion Cotill – a – HOT!!!! Druel….
    Not a big Rob Marshall fan, but I’m a little curious.
    Also curious why so many of the male leads turned this one down. It was first Bardem, then Crowe, then Clooney…am I missing anyone?

  4. Krazy Eyes says:

    Man . . . Ludivine Sagnier has grown up a lot since 8 Women. 🙂 I’m having a bit of a LexG moment.

  5. Triple Option says:

    I think Fergie’s hot. Above Kidman, ANY day.

  6. jeffmcm says:

    David will be angry at me for this, but:
    Of course the first movie of 2009 to get singular publicity attention here would be a musical.

  7. doug r says:

    Fergie hot=no brainer.

  8. David Poland says:

    J-Mc… besides lacking any imagination, you also have your facts wrong. Try harder.

  9. Noah says:

    Man I loved 8 Women. That’s gotta be Ozon’s best because it embraces the melodrama that is inherent in almost all of his films.
    I haven’t seen Nine, the play, but there are only seven women in that photo. Am I missing something?

  10. BurmaShave says:

    We can only hope it’s as good as 8 WOMEN. Damned underrated and forgotten. Fanny Ardant was unreal in that.

  11. yancyskancy says:

    Um, yeah, Noah — you’re missing a woman. I count eight. Unless you’re saying one of them is a man?

  12. Noah says:

    Burma, Fanny Ardant and Huppert were excellent, as was Ledoyen and Deneauve…yeesh, it’s like a cast of my dream women, it would be impossible for me to not love every minute of that one.
    Yancy, I see the girl in the background but is she a part of this crew? There’s seven famous actresses and then another girl masked in darkness in the background. Either way, that’s still only eight. What’s with “Nine” as the title then? I never saw the show, I’m just curious.

  13. yancyskancy says:

    Noah, the show is based on Fellini’s 8 1/2, which got its title from being Fellini’s 8 1/2th film (8 features and a segment of an omnibus film). It didn’t refer to women at all. I assume the show title is just a play on the film title and has nothing to do with 9 women. I could be wrong though. I have no idea how faithful the show is to the film.

  14. LexG says:

    Nah, I think it refers to the nine chicks this dude’s life is centered around (in addition to the Fellini thing.)
    They should make a movie about ME and NINE CHICKS, and the NINE of the title could also refer to my rod.
    Also, I want to bone Fergie’s London Bridge.
    Did they even ask Banderas, who did this for a bit on the stage?

  15. jeffmcm says:

    DP, not sure what my imagination has to do with anything.
    To test my hypothesis, I went back through every blog posting since July 1. I can say that, in a sense, you are right: you made one mention of Red Sonja, a couple to Watchmen (in part thanks to the legal action), a reference or two to The Soloist (which doesn’t count since it was moved) and now, this.
    So I hereby amend my comment to say that this post inaugurates David Poland’s 2010 Oscar Season countdown.

  16. And with due respect to Fergie, seeing the lines of her inner thighs makes me want to ask her to shut her legs, not spread them further.

    Take a look at the version of the picture that’s running with this article, and also with this one. They both have been altered with a black box to hide those lines.

    Maybe someone at TWC feels the same way about Fergie’s thighs as you do? 😀

  17. Isn’t Fergie’s character that of a bit of a carnival whore, anyway?
    While I admit the photo itself is a shocker – why do they look like they came from the set of Marshall’s Chicago, poor lighting included and why does it look like this was taken when nobody knew – the idea of this movie is just too tantalising. That cast is to die for and I loved Marshall’s Chicago so it’s obvious he has more of a skill for musicals than he does for whatever Memoirs of a Stereotype was. Plus, seeing Nicole Kidman and Penelope Cruz singing a duet will be quite interesting, no?
    The link Jason just posted (the aceshowbiz one) clearly shows the entire photo and while Day-Lewis’ face can’t be seen it’s obvious he’s the one there. And the quality of the picture is better on both.
    BTW, is this movie going to be Chucky’s worst nightmare? Five Oscar winners, two Oscar nominees and an Oscar-nominated director. And if Cruz wins the Oscar next year that makes six Oscar winners, which is just absurdly crazy (and I love it).
    Marion Cotillard just can’t stop looking like Amelie Tautou, sorry.

  18. CaptainZahn says:

    I think the full version of the shot is more effective. http://www.comingsoon.net/imageGallery/Nine/large/hr_Nine_1.jpg

  19. filmfan says:

    The musical “Nine” has nothing to do with the film “8 Women.” It is based on the film “8 1/2” and the title refers to young Guido’s age which is referred to throughout the show. It has nothing to do with the number of women. Just FYI…

  20. EthanG says:

    Eh, Fergie’s “meth-face” kind of freaks me out.
    Yeah I’m not overly excited about this, but it’s going to be better than “Fame.”

  21. David Poland says:

    Oh J-Mc… pick a new note to play. Or don’t. Just know that endlessly trying to bring every idea down to the least interesting perspective is a bore.
    And I think the bigger image is even scarier, really. Uninspired and even les focused than the smaller image. Yes, the framing looks better. And Guido’s back, on a shooting crane, is there. But the dancers as scenery thing… oy. I would so like to be wrong, but I got a bad feeling about theees…

  22. Mr. Rostan says:

    What I think is wrong with this picture: the darkness. “8 1/2” is, in my recollection, one of the brightest black-and-white films ever made. It radiated with whites and lights, even in Guido’s most nightmarish sequences. As a great intellectual fantasy, it almost NEEDED the brightness to highlight the touches of unreality. Now, I can understand Marshall wanting to make an aesthetic break from Fellini and Michael Bennett, but this does not seem promising.

  23. yancyskancy says:

    The full photo at least makes it clear that the one chick in the shadows is just part of the background group (dancers?).
    But sheesh, let’s not extrapolate too much about the whole movie based on this one shot.
    filmfan: I don’t think anyone meant to imply that Nine is based in any way on 8 Women. Dave just threw that pic up because he loves that movie and it has a couple of similar elements (I guess; haven’t seen it).
    This should take the guesswork out of the title issue (from Wikipedia): “Fellini had entitled his film 8

  24. yancyskancy says:

    Oh and the “Yeston” referred to in my previous post is Maury Yeston, the show’s composer/lyricist.

  25. Wrecktum says:

    That wide-shot screams Chicago, doesn’t it?

  26. filmfan says:

    Yancy:
    I was answering Noah who wondered why there were seven women pictured and not nine.

  27. jeffmcm says:

    DP: I’m having another one of my “don’t really know what you mean” moments here. I consider the topic done with for now though.

  28. CaptainZahn says:

    I’m not exactly sure how talented I’d say Marshall is, and I wasn’t a big fan of the way he tried to justify the musical numbers in Chicago, but I do think it’s one of the least sloppy recent film musicals. The singing is all adequate, the lip-syncing is proficient, and if the editing is a little bit too MTV-influenced at times, at least it’s still professional. I hope Nine isn’t a retread of the same “fantasy scenes” concept and that Marshall won’t employ the use of stagy blue shafts of light during the musical scenes again, though.

  29. As far as I’m aware Nine isn’t a remake of 8 1/2 so it has no need to replicate that movie. Right?

  30. CaptainZahn says:

    Here are a few videos from the Broadway revival of Nine.
    Jane Krakowski’s “A Call from the Vatican” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8-El40q3Dk
    Mary Stuart Masterson’s “My Husband Makes Movies” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPKsM6eDV7A
    Laura Benanti’s “Unusual Way” –
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VapGQa-vdQ0

  31. scooterzz says:

    i saw ‘nine’ on broadway in both incarnations and never really liked the play….but a longtime friendship with anita morris made me a fan (whether i liked it or not)…..
    and, slightly off topic (but re: musical theater)…if you live in or are planning to visit l.a. ‘spring awakening’ is just about the best ‘bang for your buck’ theater experience you’ll find…..you may not know the name blake bashoff now but i’m betting you will eventually….

  32. yancyskancy says:

    Kami: Nine is based on a play “inspired by” the film 8 1/2, whatever that means exactly. What little I’ve read of the show’s plot sounds like the movie to me. But it’s true enough that no adaptation has a “need” to replicate its source.
    I was surprised to learn that one of the original show’s replacement Guidos was Bert Convy. Raul Julia originated the role.

  33. movieman says:

    I’m a huge fan of “8 Women” as well, Noah, but I think Ozon’s masterpieces (to date anyway) are “Under the Sand” and “Time to Leave.” The latter is an almost perfect movie, and Charlotte Rampling’s performance in the former is one of my favorites of the entire decade.
    As for “Nine,” am I the only one who’s the least bit concerned that none of those (mostly) wonderful actors aren’t exactly known for their singing abilities…and that “Nine” (the last time I checked anyway) was a, er, uh, musical?? Or is this the price to pay for living in the post-“Chicago” (the movie) era?
    I still remember how savagely Peter Bogdanovich and his cast of non-professional singers were raked over the coals when “At Long Last Love” opened in 1975. And Cybill, Burt, et al weren’t appreciably worse singers than Zellweger, Gere and Zeta-Jones; or any of the “Nine” cast will most likely be.

  34. leahnz says:

    hey movieman, doesn’t cybill shepherd have some serious pipes? i’ve heard her sing in various things over the past hundred years and she can belt it…of that ‘nine’ cast, tho, i’d venture the only one that could sing her way out of a paper bag is fergie, the rest will prob be gussied up electronically like pfeiffer a la ‘baker boys’

  35. movieman says:

    I’ll even cop to owning a copy of “Cybill Does It…To Cole Porter,” La Shepherd’s album of Cole Porter standards from back in the day.
    I’ve always loved “At Long Last Love,” and I think I’ve seen at least three different versions of the film over the years (each cut added or deleted musical numbers). Hopefully “ALLL” will finally make it to dvd someday and Bogdanovich will restore all of the musical numbers and put them in their proper sequence.
    “Sweet dreams” indeed, huh?
    You’re right about Fergie, Leahnz, although I’ve never been a particularly big fan of that MTV chanteuse. Can’t wait to hear Dame Judi croak out a tune (or two), though, lol. Maybe DDL will just do the talk-sing Rex Harrison thing.

  36. scooterzz says:

    movieman — i also had cybil’s cole porter album (vinyl, natch) back in the early 70’s and had the poster that came with it framed in my office (pissed my wife off at the time)…
    i’ve since spoken with bogdanovich about ‘at long last love’ and he’s been pretty candid about it’s worth so it might be a while before you get that dvd……

  37. movieman says:

    Yep, vinyl for me, too, Scooter. I remember using the Cybill poster for a prop in a high school drama class exercise back then—a lipsynching routine scored to “I Would Trust Her” from Sondheim’s “A Little Night Music”: gawd, is that frigging embarrassing, lol.
    It’s too bad that Peter feels that way about “ALL.” I’ve always believed that it was a phenomenally underrated film, and it’s aged remarkably well. Of the three musicals that opened within weeks of each other in March ’75 (can you picture three big-screen musicals opening in the same month in 2008?!?!?)–“Funny Lady,” “Tommy” and “ALLL”–Bogdanovich’s pissed-upon art deco triumph remains my favorite…and I actually love all three of those movie musicals.

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