Forced To Action
This is 100% blog commenter insider baseball, so I am puting the rest after the jump for those who are interested….
I have once again had to “untrust” LexG for drunk commenting.
In a first for this blog, I have “unpublished” all of his comments after midnight last night, as they are not only abusive of a variety of people – including me – but are abusive of the freedom that I seek to make the standard of this blog.
I don’t really care if he thinks that Rosemarie DeWitt “owned” me or dissed me or whatever. I am just fine with all lines of attack, though it is frustrating when it becomes about the individual and not the ideas. What I I am not okay with are 16 drunken screams in the night, pushing everyone else’s comfort with assembly out of whack.
When there was a suspension in the past, LexG took it well and has, for the most part, behaved. And some of you pulling out the “holier than Lex” schtick makes me laugh because some of you would be much better targets if posting dumb stuff was the criteria for me taking action.
I am unhappy to feel forced to take action and I am particularly vexed as I am heading to Sundance in a couple of days and the biggest problems between commenters seem to happen on this blog while I am not checking in on a regular basis. It’s usually around Day 6 of any 10 day fest when I start getting e-mails from people begging me to either ban certain commenters or to clean things up.
The whole point is to allow an open discourse here, not for me to be Miss Crabtree in The Little Rascals.
This Casino quote jumps to mind –
Pat Webb (played by LQ Jones)
I don’t even think an explanation was necessary. It’s clear to anyone who frequents this place why the posts would be deleted. There’s a line, and I think we all can feel when it’s been crossed.
Hopefully we wont get an assortment of apologists and whiners talking about free speech and levels of contribution and all that. Sure, with the absence of certain people you miss a few good insights here and there, but even a car that gets 50 miles per gallon isn’t much use if the tires keep falling off, or in a more appropriate analogy, if the volume on the radio keeps going to 11 and tunes itself to shock jock blather.
These long, Lex-dedicated apologist entries are a little more irritating to me that Lex’s ramblings. Its like a parent apologizing to their child for setting boundaries and enforcing them. I know the coddling seems compassionate, but I think its counterproductive. It clearly hasn’t worked in the past.
This isn’t an issue of free speech. LexG has the right to start a blog and say whatever he wants. DP is kind enough to allow everyone express their ideas and question his judgment, ideas, etc.
In fact, DP is more lenient with the commenters than anyone else I can think of, with the possible exception of AICN.
What LexG did was the equivalent of entering someone’s house, insulting that person’s guests, and then insulting the host. The fact that DP is probably gonna let him come back speaks to DP’s generosity as a host.
Of course, this is a public forum, so that analogy isn’t perfect, but even if this is a public forum, it’s a private website, and DP can do whatever he wants.
Agree completely with a_loco’s comments.
I also think the fact that his comments were inflammatory yet there were only a couple of responses to them shows that people on this blog handle themselves very professionally when such outbursts occur.
This is good to hear, that at least something is being done. I have a high tolerance for dumb messageboard comments, but when the same person continually disrupts the conversation it’s like a particularly bad infection. There’s the open sore that I can overlook, but then following that are half a dozen posts that in one way or another refer to that open sore. It’s this needless hijacking of threads that makes it less and less enjoyable to read the comments. At some point the quality of the conversation has been lowered so much that only the most dedicated commenters will come back, for everyone else it feels like a waste of time to sort through so much nonsense on a regular basis. If the banned commenter figures out how to write like a mature individual. then i’m sure everyone would gladly accept him back into the community. In the mean time, it’s good to see some moderation on the boards.
No explanation necessary. LexG is the reason I don’t read nor hang out here. He is ridiculous and idiotic in every way.
I don’t like when Lex blahgs on a drunken roll and I can understand the annoyance, but I still don’t get why people get so tingled at the thought of banning somebody. It was weird when Wells started doing it to the huzzahs of his deranged groupies, and I’ve never figured out why folks can’t just scroll along to the next comment.
David’s been a real gentleman about it all and more than patient. But there’s far worse things happening in the world folks. Save the outrage.
I’m saddened I missed the drama. I love Lex’s post but if he was out of line, than I guess he was. But let him backin, please, DP, cause you are 100% right: he does often bring a unique POV to the discussion here. I mean that completely. Hey, shoot me, I’m a fan.
I hate to go here but, there could also be legal ramifications if Dave did nothing if, heaven forbid, Lex died during liquoring up and posting comments. Sort of like serving too many drinks and letting the drunk drive home. (I didn’t see the posts.) Recently I saw a comment by “bunnybeth” on Kim Voynar’s “Proud Mama” post about her daughter Neve, and I went to bunnybeth’s site (for self explanatory reasons it might belong to Neve’s grandma) and in her “about me” section, she writes (no need to qualify it):
‘… I blog to relax and de-stress from my job. I cannot be, nor do I want to be, your therapist, adviser, mother, lover, blog editor or personal guru. I want to be your blog friend, which means you get minimal support and full reciprocity on your blog. I have a few blog friends that I am very close to, and this closeness has been forged over time, and is respectful of the need for privacy, both mine and theirs. If you need more, I
I’ve read this blog in a few years, but very rarely post here. I realize my point of view here holds very little weight, but I’ll go ahead with it anyway.
LexG is a great addition to this site. He has his own thing going, yet often contributes significantly to other people’s discussions. And – and this is important to any forum (I know this is a blog, but the BYOB-part is practically a forum) – often manages to start an interesting discussion by posting original thoughts.
Therefore it would be a shame to ban him. Rather, what I would prefer was that you just deleted his comments when they stray too far. No further explanation needed, everyone would understand and support your right to do so. Even Lex, I think.
But this is your house, you call the shots.
Mikkel, blogging is live, and we like to keep it that way.
Lex’s flaw is that he tries to make every conversation about him. Whether it’s ironic or not, it’s annoying and lends nothing to the discussion.
Lex’s bad days tended to overthrow his rare valuable points. He reminds me of that old CollegeHumor internet commenter video.. (googling)
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1776175
I can understand being a fan of Sober Lex; being a fan of Drunk/Whiny Lex kind of sounds like being a fan of watching Chris Farley snorting lines of coke and eating buckets of fried chicken; yeah, it’s entertaining, but it’s not going to end well.
David, I often zone out as well, and go to another site when I see Lex’s retarded shtick over and over and over on one single entry. You do what you want to do. If he rarely adds anything, and continues to be a totally self-important jerk, then I would get rid of him. Up to you, obviously, I don’t really care, though I will go elsewhere when I see him.
And to think I made ONE comment to Nikke Finke early on and got banned for life from her site. Whateva Treva.
EOTW, he was definitely out of line. The replies that I read before clicking out of here were incredibly vile and repulsive.
I guess I’m with Jeff on this. I don’t quite understand why people put up with it when he’s in his manic drunk phase, but I do admit he says some great stuff when he’s off the sauce. I guess I just don’t come to The Hot Blog to read about what some drunk man thinks about Anne Hathaway’s vagina. go figure!
He brought up Anne Hathaway’s vagina? Really? Wow. I missed all sorts of shenanigans.
I think deleting the material actually perpetuates the myth about the guy. Just leave his car crash comments for all to see. The ongoing embarrassment will be a kindly reminder for him to not drink and surf.
I’d defend him if his latest nutso drunken diatribes were funny in any shape or form. They weren’t. They were just idiotic and cringe worthy. Leave em up Dave.
Ironically enough, last night Lex also came over to my blog and posted a very supportive and somewhat out-of-character message, which I appreciated. And yes, I’m pretty sure it really was him.
I know how it is to have commenters who can offer valuable insights, entertainment value, and occasionally vicious personal attacks all at once: some of my best friends, etc…
I think it’s something every blogger has to figure out how to deal with for themselves. I’m always impressed at the degree to which Harry Knowles is willing to tolerate the nastiest forms of verbal abuse known to man at AICN.
I have to say, I find Lex’s postings much more entertaining (and often better-informed) than those made by others here. And if he does indeed decide to start his own blog, I likely will be a steady reader. But, again, this is David’s playground, and we have to abide by his rules. And I can respect that. Seriously.
LexG is clearly Bi-Polar who is self medicating with his drinking.
The Manic episodes when he drinks followed by his crashing lows of self abuse.
The big clear sign of this is his complete unwillingness to get help and his scientologist like hatred and unbelief in mental health.
See, Bi-Polar’s hate to give up those manic highs. They’re just too damn good. Better than any drug they could take. So instead of getting help and getting mentally, emotionally and physically harmonious, they keep their manic highs and self medicate and deal with the come down usually with cocaine or alcohol.
The question is, Dave, how long are you going to keep enabling his mental illness?
I’m not surprised that Lex is smart and insightful, especially when he is sober.
Bi-Polar’s are normally very very intelligent, bright, sharp and high functioning. But unless they’re managing it, try having a relationship with them.
But have you ever noticed that the smart and sober and warranted and wanted of lex’s posts always happen between 9 to 5? When he can’t drink?
All of you LexG fans, are you really fans of LexG? Or of his schadenfreude?
Because one thing I know, is if maybe this guy got banned and got his fucking life together, he might actually put that talent to credible use and be a real filmmaker in this town.
But instead, he settles for here, because he gets the attention he so desperately craves and he uses it as his justification to hit the bottle. The same way Hemingway did after he finished a novel (and we all know how well that ended)
So, instead of realizing his true potential, Lex comes here, enabled by Poland and the anonymous commenters that haven’t been here as long as JeffMCM or I, Nicol, or IO, Kami or Lota or whomever and remember how things used to be.
And his alcoholism and mental illness continue to get progressively worse. At what cost?
Because this is the third time Dave has done this “probation” and it doesn’t seem to be having any effect.
It seems as if Dave only knows the G.W. Bush version of the “Fool Me Once” analogy.
Anyone that knows the realities of alcoholism knows it’s a disorder that gets progressively worse. And as long as the alcoholic is enabled they will never hit their bottom and get the help they really need.
But, this is potentially more than that. Because I know A LOT of alcoholics that have no problem seeing a shrink for whatever reason even when they’re actively drinking.
So, when I see LexG get so Tom Cruise about mental health. And there’s that much resistance about it, 9 times out of 10, they’re bi-polar.
Fuck, I’d rather go back to reading Wells than having it on my conscience that I’m encouraging a man towards self-destruction, who is talented and capable of so much more than what he does here. And every time Lex gets a compliment, or is allowed back in, or is read, that is exactly what is happening.
How long is he going to get enabled?
God, and to think, I used to come here because I wanted to get away from AICN and have an intelligent discourse about film and it’s branches with real critics, intellectuals and professionals.
Lex has effectively taken that away and destroyed any sense of that. The cynic in me wants to say Dave tolerates it because it’s upped his page count, but my adult self knows Dave is holding to his principles and I respect that.
But when you’re helping someone to destroy themselves, maybe there needs to be a special exception to those principles.
Honestly, THX, I don’t even know what the page count is on this blog, only on the big site.
I hear you.
But you don’t realize that when you read Wells, you are doing much the same as you are concerned about me doing with Lex.
Here’s how I see the bottom line… banning is easy… and then requires new name enforcement, etc.
I don’t know a good answer and I don’t want to shut down comments altogether. So I try to make it work. Mostly I want people to discuss things they are interested in on this blog, not spend a lot of time with big drama or personal attacks. And really, for the most part, I am proud of how this space has worked out over these years.
Thanks to everyone for their input, sincerely. Even if I don’t impliment what you think is right, I take every idea very seriously.
Just so we are clear, Dave.
I DON’T read Wells. Ever.
That guy relishes being an asshole and spoiling movies without warning.
How the hell can you act like you *know* Lex, THX, when all you know is what he writes here. Granted, drunk posting on a very public blog is bad form, but it’s alllmost as silly as you proclaiming to know what kind of talent, motivations or bad habits/addictions the guy has based on his postings here.
I mean, seriously dude. Have you ever talked to him in real life? Exchanged private emails?? Man, I wish I could ride as high a horse as you THX….anonymous name dropper of the internets.
I think that 3/4’s of the time, Lex is yanking your chains and most everyone who gets that, supports his rantings. Those who DON’T get it are the ones who doth protest too much and reply immediately to everything he says as if he was talking in the back of class and you want the teacher to put the dunce cap on him and sit him in the corner.
While I totally agree with Dave’s deleting of whatever was written, I also agree in him not wanting to be a cop on his own site. Just quit READING what Lex WRITES if he annoys you. Jesus people…it ain’t hard!
And I hope he is allowed back and can install one of those car ignition breathalizers on his internet. If he’s three times the legal limit, he’s locked out of the internet. Except for porn sites.
Hey THX – some of us were putting a boot up Bicycle Bobs asshole long before you even turned up here. So don’t act like your the blog caretaker around here. We’re all adults. Well some of us. Please take your pseudo dr drew helpline bullshit and take it on the arches.
Lex doesn’t need your help or anyone elses. If he’s a real fuckup then he needs to hit rock bottom before anything can change. And he’ll change things.
And he’s a long way from that. He’s still playing in the self pity sandbox – I’d say if he’s for real, he’s got another 5-7 tragic years to go before intervention is necessary.
So get used to it or don’t read it. You are right about one thing. He’ll be loving the attention. You just feed the fire again.
ps- Don.. he’s already back.
Don, I think you are wayyyyy too kind to Lex in terms of ‘yanking chains’. Yes, he says stuff specifically designed to piss people off, but most of what I think people object to is the compulsive stuff that he can only get away with because of the anonymity – the rampant sexism/horniness and the massive self-pity/whininess. Remove those and we’re pretty much left with all the ‘smart Lex’ material and the occasional ‘cartoons are for chumps’ which is pretty easy to ignore.
LICENCE RENEWED like John Gardner up in this piece! DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK.
Nah, I told Dave I wouldn’t be obnoxious, but thanks for the infinite understanding and the reality checks.
Now who wants a drink?
Don – You are so two faced. One minute your cool, the next, you’re a total dick. So really, who takes you seriously anyway?
JBD – I think we’re all in agreement that you we’re a total asshole long before Bicycle Bob. So congratulations, you hold on to that title.
Anyone that can’t see that I have Lex’s back; is either a fucking moron, or they have their own demons to deal with. And having someone be there for Lex about his; is just too hard of a mirror for some to stare into.
Eh, Don and JBD?
Furthermore,
What’s with this accusation of myself being holier than thou crap?
Where the fuck did you get that? Let me make it clear:
In my belief system, I believe we are all the same expressions of God. Like drops to an ocean. All perfect, all individual, all really – striving for divinity. And however many life times that takes, so be it.
In other words. I don’t feel I’m better than anyone else, and know intrinsically, that we are all souls and we all put our pants on one leg at a time.
I didn’t write that with a high horse tone in mind at all, but as someone who has struggled with their own demons (like everyone) and would rather see a dude reach his full potential, rather than waste it here on your cheap laughs.
I mean, Lex puts so much work into his material here. And it’s good. But are your laughs paying his bills?
Exactly.
So, really, the intention of my tone was never coming from a “Better Than You” place at all.
Poland clearly saw that, because he knows me and has way more familiarity with me than either of you do.
The truth is, you read my words and you applied YOUR OWN TONE to it. One of condescension. A tone that was not intended or put forth. But obviously from a place you both come from.
I bet you both LOVE to silently judge others to make your selves feel better? Verdad?
So Don and JBD, the fact that you guys both infered it that way, says a lot more about you and your negative attitudes, than your mistaken read on the tone of my words.
Another example of why anyone shouldn’t communicate in important relationships over text or email. People ALWAYS mistake the tone.
I know therapists that HATE email, because ever since it was invented, they have so many broken up couples that come in with a printed email that they read, that has ended the relationship –
And they throw it at the therapist and they say “Can you believe they said it that way? How they meant it? Can you believe THEY SAID THAT SHIT?!”
And the therapist ALWAYS says “I didn’t read it that way at all.”
So, Don and JBD, check the tone in your head when you read anyone’s words and make sure it’s not really YOU, before you go pointing fingers.
This reminds me of the similar important lesson I realized as I got more involved with this business:
When I saw how many people behind these great works of Art and Film were really horrible, miserable human beings – I had to learn real fast:
You have to separate the Art from the Artist.
Something you both should try. Especially you Don, if you’re going to purport to be a critic.
Wow. Freak. Of. The. Week.
I’m not 2-faced. I calls em like me sees em.
You’re off your rocker, THX. I’m actually starting to believe you’re Lex posting under another name. Can anyone check IP’s? If that’s so, lex is a genius. Otherwise….the opposite is true for the anonymous “producer” known as THX5334.
THX. I love how you go on this spiritual rant about gods ball sweat and how we all resemble it and that you don’t judge anyone. Then you proceed to judge Don and myself. And to top that, you also managed to speak for the entire blog. Ego much?
You’re a complete fucking joke.
Maybe, just maybe Don and I are real fucking people and you’re some amalgam of what you’d wish to be but in real life you’re just a small time producer with a god complex ready to save online souls.
Check yourself.
THX, you’ve made your point and these otherguys are out to misinterpret you because nobody can write the perfect essay on this, so you’ll never win, but you did; their raging defensiveness gives it away.
How about all three (JBD, Don, THX) are guys who mean well but whose writing is getting misinterpreted?
THX, I have to agree a little – when you get into the long stretches, there’s a teeny tiny tone of ‘I’ve got this all figured out so know I’ll drop some wisdom on you all’. I understand that your intention is to be helpful and compassionate, but I think you also have to understand that there is indeed room for error in the interpretation – and that such error isn’t limited to those on the receiving ends.
[99% of readers please ignore the below post]
Jeff I don’t think I’m misinterpreted. I came off as an asshole on occasion without a doubt.
But I know myself. Flaws and all. However I’m also a father/ husband who is loved by family and friends. Have a great career and contribute to society in many ways. I’m happy with my lot in life. My assholism doesn’t come from inner anger or issues. I’m not going to say DP knows me and ‘gets me’. I don’t need qualification from DP to know my position in life. I also ‘got’ your tone and don’t think I misinterpreted it at all. You might be well intentioned but your “compassionate” response reeked of someone who gets off offering their wisdom to others. Just because you’ve been in therapy doesn’t mean you can offer anonymous analysis to an anonymous blogger. It makes no sense especially after your “emails and therapists” analogy. As I said. Check yourself.
The bottom line is you came on like an armchair therapist who gave cereal box psychoanalysis about some obnoxious posts on a blog.
You might all sit there nodding in agreement with THX that Lex is bipolar but I don’t have to swallow such a hollow and ultimately self-serving examination.
Sure many of my comments are sarcastic and appear more caustic than they would in person over a beer in a bar. I get that. I’m not going to change into some other persona for your benefit.
I also will never be someone’s therapist, father, priest anonymously online.
If you want to really help THX, then volunteer some time on suicide/youth phone lines. That’s where people reach out for help.
Your posts are the real world equivalent of someone coming up to me on the street and preaching in my face about saving my life.
Guys…guys. I give you (THX, kamikaze and jeff) the spiritual brilliance of Holden McNeill in the spiritually uplifting JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK. In this epic journey, Holden tries to explain to Jay and Silent Bob that reading too far into internet handles and their absence of base in reality is as follows…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYMfIvvElBs
3 responses from 3 guys (Don, JBD, JeffMCM) whom have more a need to “be right” – rather than a need to “be kind”
Again. Who can take you seriously? It’s YOUR tone, to my words that is projecting an EGO to it, not me. Because you guys are all three people driven by EGO, who would rather be right, rather than be kind.
Let me clue you in to something about EGO. Ego, always comes projecting loud and obnoxious, from people who don’t really, truly, don’t like themselves. Therefore, they are always trying to “outdo” those around them in a futile attempt to prove to themselves that they are valid. When really, they just need to apply some self love to themselves as they are.
I like myself just fine. In fact, I love my self, in so much as everyone should love them selves.
I’ve got no need to validate myself to anyone here. Those few that frequent these blogs that know my true identity know that I’ve got plenty to be happy about and plenty of accomplishments and personal growth that I’ve got nothing to complain about in these hard times.
I’ll follow Don’s advice and just “scroll past” both of your responses from now on. You guys can go project your own bullshit onto other people, I’ve got real work to do.
Although, Jeff, I’ll give it to you. While in the beginning, I found you very abrasive – you’ve earned my respect. So the above does not apply to you.
T. Holly – Thanks for that.
LexG – When the time’s right, I’ll get at you with some SAG vouchers (if it even matters anymore). Just try not to beat your self up too much when the depressive part of the alcohol kicks in.
And – when the time is right, and the work dictates it – I will happily “Out myself” to Dave on video during a press interview – Solely to see if Don Lewis can review my work objectively, now that he’s got a hard on to take me down.
OK surprise I am drunk again, I know, I am a scumbag and I don’t want to moon for pathetic attention again or be an overwrought all-cap asshole
so I’ll lowercase it but in all sincerity, *all sincerity*, can ONE person say something to cheer me up, anything at all,
seriously even email me at lexownage@yahoo.com, I am SO depressed I honestly hope none of you EVER feel this down and rejected by the world and ashamed of your any and every move. Honestly nothing makes me happy and I despise myself more than I could EVER describe in words, sorry I know I want to be good but NOTHING is cheering me up tonight PLEASE someone email me and say something nice.
Also, JBD – Awesome job of spinning my defending myself into being someone that’s “judgemental”
If I were you, I’d start saving up for your kids therapy bills now.
Judging by your people skills, they’re going to need it.
Addendum: Does AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYONE have the hookup to be ON CAMERA as soon as possible?
ANY reality show, any hetero porn, NO MATTER HOW LOW RENT or shady. ANYTHING. I need to be FAMOUS in ANY WAY POSSIBLE or I am not fulfilled as a human being. I have NOTHING and NOBODY. lexownage@yahoo.com.
I have a BLANK HOLE inside.
Aww shizzle, there I go being a hypocrite. Using the word “judging”
I should have said “Going By”
But then again, I always purported myself to be a human being and liable to mistakes, not any more virtuous than anyone or anything else.
JBD or Don, can you say the same?
Or is your Ego going to respond in a need to be
“Right”?
Okay, now I’m done. I just felt guilty about the parenting crack. Sorry JBD. (Though any chance for self reflection on our parenting skills is always a good thing)
Also, it’s good to remember, that it’s crucial on how we treat our children their first five years, as the personality is imprinted during those years; and how they develop then, can have major ramifications on their personality and behavior and mental and emotional balance for the rest of their lives…
JBD – Does it really make me a pseudo Dr. Drew asshole to share that advice no matter how valid it may be?
Simply because it comes from me?
Is it egotistical to want to make the world a better place and help share validated knowledge with those that might not know it?
I’m not even going to bother to read yours or Don’s responses, so consider that rhetorical.
Lates…
Dave, you have only yourself to blame for the discourse on this blog. It’s become an airport toilet stall for manic depressant ner’-do-wells.
Salvage what credibility you have left and take the whole thing down.
I’ve been telling you this for years… your petty/judgmental/bi-polar energy you send out encourages the petty/judgmental/bi-polar discourse.
You’re married now. You don’t have time to pied-pipe this shit. Start the year off right and click delete. Put us all out of our misery.
It won’t be easy. But it’s the right thing to do.
THX-I’d love to see whatever you’re producing. Get at me when you’re ready…I’m not a tough person to track down. I promise to be fair and balanced, unless I hate it because then you’ll think it’s because I don’t “like you” when, as I’ve said ad nauseum, I can’t bring myself to like or dislike anonymous handles on the internet.
Was that an online death match between Lex and THX? Couldn’t you have moved it offline, THX? Comments from Cinderella Lex’s IP address are going to have to be declined every day at midnight.
Gmail actually has a new addition to it in which if you send an email after midnight or 1:00 a.m., you have to answer 5 math questions in a given amount of time in order to send it. It’s designed to help stop you from drunk emailing. I’m totally serious. Maybe Dave can install that on here.
Also-Lex…..I emailed you on the email we correspond on as well as the new one. Check it ASAP and get back to me.
I was a lot more sympathetic to the 2:15 post than to the 2:30 post.