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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

EXCLUSIVE: Headlines Of The Future

3D Comic-Con Event Marred By 2D Projection Problems
NYT: Stock Analysts Think Burton

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38 Responses to “EXCLUSIVE: Headlines Of The Future”

  1. See, this is what you get when mom and pop never bought you a superhero costume for your ninth birthday.

  2. “Cameron Diaz Shakes Her Maracas In Response To Fan Question About Her Maracas
    “Front-Loaded Comic-Con 2009 Unofficially Ended At 5p Friday, As Peter Jackson Left The Auditorium”
    Best of the best right there.

  3. Number two is the best as it’s 99% likely to be a true ‘inside story’. Not that you need the ‘huzzahs’, but the whole list was pretty darn funny.

  4. jeffmcm says:

    A few of these seem like they could be easily plausible and unironically accurate. I don’t know if that makes them particularly on-target or misguided.

  5. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Very funny Dave.
    Jeff can’t you just enjoy something completely for once. I bet when you get a present from someone, you always say “thanks but can I exchange it if I don’t like it” before even opening it?

  6. jeffmcm says:

    No, I don’t ask that anymore.

  7. SJRubinstein says:

    Goddamn, it was that same old weird deja vu crossing E Street a few minutes ago on the way to the Marriott. Ten years and it’s still like going to some sort of freshman year reunion where you’re excited because of what it used to be like, but really, really hoping not to run into anyone.
    I guess I’m happy not to be doing 70-80 interviews in five days like a few years back (that last year for IGN was insanity on a cracker), happy to have gone only to comic book panels since.
    Oh, and here’s a shameless plug – my artist (Rahsan Ekedal) and I are signing copies of our comic, “The Cleaners,” at the Dark Horse booth tomorrow from 3 to 4. We kind of pooled our comps and are giving away 30 sets of the first four issues to the first 30 folks who show up for autographs (if we only get one person, we’ll give them all 120 and see if they have better luck).

  8. IOIOIOI says:

    Blair Butler loved the Cleaners. If I remember. So she might get those 120 comics. HUZZAH!
    Also, Hunter fucking nailed it. Mr. Broadway up there really has never ever gotten this seismic shift, and loves spending his time POOPOOING it. Well, Davie Poo, it’s not going to go away. The only thing that might make it go away, is the return of Douglas Sirk style movies!

  9. LexG says:

    Those Diaz and McAdams thoughts gave me a BONER.
    McAdams is PURE HOTNESS COME TO EARTH. I actually can’t wait for that TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE shit and choke up every time I see the trailer. I don’t know why I always forget to include her in my maniacal celeb-hound rants.
    Maybe because like Elizabeth Banks, Rach-Mac seems so cool and awesome she almost seems accessible, even though she’s no more likely to say boo than Megan or Paris.
    McADAMS POWER.
    Also did anyone else see SCAR-JO in her IRON MAN costume? HOLY SHIT, he’s gonna need the tin suit just to keep his IRON BONER from showing.
    Seriously, there should be a part in IRON MAN 2 where Johansson shows up in her catsuit, and IRON MAN’S METAL COCK starts raising up and making squeaking sounds like it needs oil or something.
    GOOD IDEA.

  10. Martin S says:

    Morrison: I don’t care about geeks, you know? Geeks shouldn’t be given power. When geeks get power, you get Hitler. There’s a lot of weird and angry geeks out there. But what (a comic book movie) does is it opens up comics as a medium. It stops being geekish. There’s comic books for everyone. There’s comic books for women, there’s comic books for kids, there’s comic books for teenage Goths. That is the important thing that movies are doing.
    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i9a54464d9bfd93d07b96402efef84e1f

  11. SJRubinstein says:

    Yeah, Blair Butler/G4 gave the first issue of “Cleaners” a great review, then featured the second issue pretty prominently on her show, which really floored us as it’s kind of a small book from a couple of newbies.

  12. jeffmcm says:

    IOI, Sirk was a terrific director. He knew more about controlling the graphic elements within his shots (color, framing, shapes) than half of all comic-book artists working today.

  13. SJRubinstein says:

    Well more than half.

  14. IOIOIOI says:

    Look everybody! Two dumbass comments in a row!
    Martin: FINAL CRISIS. That’s all I am stating. FINAL FUCKING CRISIS.

  15. jeffmcm says:

    IOI, you really rebutted us with your precise reasoning and your firm grasp of the subject matter.
    Oh wait, you just called people names.

  16. Martin S says:

    IO – I had to quote it because of all the people to scream sour grapes, it comes from Grant “The Matrix Ripped Me Off! F This! I’m going to write movies!” Morrison.
    Classic pot and kettle moment.

  17. IOIOIOI says:

    Jeff: that’s a dumbass comment. Your reasoning is moronic, and it insults an entire field of artistry in such a resoundingly stupid it way. It just makes you come across as a dumbass McMahon.
    Martin: Indeed.

  18. jeffmcm says:

    IOI, if you can elaborate upon your point or actually produce an argument against mine, without indulging in pointless insults, I’d really, really like to see it.
    But I honestly think you have no idea what you, or anyone else, is talking about.
    Prove me wrong!

  19. martin says:

    I’d like to see Lex and IO in a room together. Wouldn’t want to be in the same room with them though, so it would have to be caught on tape.

  20. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    @Martin. Those two in a room would actually be like HUMPPDAY with a more pathetic coda wherein they silently give each other handjobs while holding back sobs.

  21. martin says:

    Yeah, I could see that.

  22. Lota says:

    so DAve…does that mean Tron 2 is expected to make about 10 cents?

  23. leahnz says:

    that’s’ weird, that’s not my how i picture io and lex alone in a room at all.
    i see lex (but i know what he looks/sounds like from his youtubes so there’s that) whinging, “like, what are we doing here in this ROOM when we could be out right now at a CLUB being AWESOME and surrounded by hot VAG like the dudes on ‘entourage’ – except for that fucking douche connelly – you know, just COMMANDING and shit, but we’re here in this ROOM, i mean, we should have K-STEW and R-ADAMS in little MIDRIFF TOPS all shiny and coltish having a pillow-fight and giggling while we paint their toenails…’ while io hops around him from foot to foot like he’s on speed, vaguely JohnLeguizamoIn’the pest’-like, running off at the mouth, ‘come on, douche, knife throwing is the shit! you just go stand against that wall. and i’ll ZING them at you! don’t move though. or i might hit you in the eye! come on…’
    well whatever, but i certainly can’t picture either of them being SILENT for goodness sake

  24. christian says:

    You’re funny, leahnz. I see it now.

  25. IOIOIOI says:

    Yes, douchebags, the lot of you, and I have nothing to prove to you Jeff. I made the references, you make the stupid ass comments, and all o the dumb motherfuckers come to your aid. You suck. The end.

  26. LexG says:

    Leahnz RULES, for real. Can’t speak to the IO end of the conversation or his reaction, but that was downright flattering, actually, and glad to know a real, awesome woman “gets it,” isn’t offended, and that she’s watching my YT masterworks to boot. Pretty uncanny “imitation,” down to picking up on the oft-used “coltish” and the various recurring fetish imagery. GOOD POST.
    It’s almost like having an awesome groupie.

  27. leahnz says:

    i have an annoying talent for mimicry, lex, so don’t get too carried away with the groupie thing (but you know i’m weirdly fond of you in spite myself. and you. we’re fine so long as you don’t mention ‘the bay’, then all bets are off and i want to slap you upside the head in keeping with my bay-induced rage-virus issues)
    and to redeem myself to io, who is likely seething away in his padded cell plotting his revenge, i have a serious question (this is totally OT so pardon me):
    io, seeing as you are just the stone-cold ‘dark knight’ obsessive freak (and i don’t mean that in a bad way) i thought you might actually know the answer to this question (i toyed with trying to find it myself via actual research but i gave up after about 1 minute because i’m horrible at it plus i’m lazy and inept): when did nolan and crew finish post-production on ‘the dark knight’, do you know the date? (if anyone else knows, if you care to enlighten me please do)
    i ask because i happened to catch ‘the crow’ on cable the other night – on the eve of the anniversary of pop’s untimely death actually – and i don’t know if it was brandon lee’s face paint or what but i got to thinking how proyas and co. obviously – either knowingly or subconsciously – cut the movie ‘in memorandum’ to brandon with all the slightly too lingering slow-mos/freeze-frames of his face with melancholy crescendos in the score and dramatic graveyard headstone shots, rather cheesy and ott if not for knowing his tragic fate on the film (and still cheesy as hell but somehow excusable/understandable/fitting in those segments showcasing brandon’s lost cause)
    so back to the face paint and the point, it brought to mind ledger in ‘the dark knight’ and whether or not nolan had finished up with the movie before his death. i remember reading stuff saying heath’s death didn’t have any influence or effect on ‘dark night’, but is that really true? brandon and ‘the crow’ made me wonder if nolan could possibly avoid being influenced on some level by ledger’s swansong (apart from some of ‘parnassus’ i guess); did he secretly make ‘the dark night’ more of an ode to the joker than he would have had not heath joined ‘the departed’ at such time, would the movie be at all different today had heath lived? weird, i know, but just wondering. and the point is moot if post on ‘dark night’ was complete before ledger died so that’s why i’m curious
    (i’m way too tired to be so bloody long-winded, sorry)

  28. leahnz says:

    to be clearer and a hell of a lot shorter: would nolan have cut ‘dark knight’ the same had heath not died? i can’t help but think heath’s ghost was looking over his shoulder (i’m in macabre ‘death mode’ for some reason, i think it started with dwelling on bruce lee and snowballed)

  29. jeffmcm says:

    IOI, it’s almost as if you are incapable of playing.

  30. christian says:

    “It’s almost like having an awesome groupie.”
    Almost. Minus the sex.

  31. IOIOIOI says:

    Jeff, when you can throw a person. There’s really no reason to play.
    Leah: they were in post when he died. Nolan also has stated rather emphatically for such a silent type guy, that he made TDK the way he always intended it to be. There are no cut scenes apparently. Which could add validation to his claim. Nevertheless, the film had an ad campaign set-up to be more about the maniacal nature of the Joker before Heath died. So they just stuck with their original direction.
    Oh yeah… FLYNN LIVES!

  32. martin says:

    Whatever Fievel. Go back in your hole.

  33. jeffmcm says:

    IOI, I will pay your airfare to fly to Los Angeles, ‘throw me’, and fly back. I won’t even sue you afterwards!

  34. leahnz says:

    interesting, io. i was thinking more along the lines of a subconscious effect on nolan, if perhaps he’d concentrated on even MORE ‘joker’ content when editing by way of an ode to heath’s performance rather than cutting stuff out, but thanks for the info.
    (and obviously i meant ‘in memoriam’ re: brandon lee above, i’m not sure if ‘in memorandum’ actually means anything but the hour was late so i may have just made that up, no disrespect intended)

  35. IOIOIOI says:

    Martin, not only were you ignorant enough to use your name on a board where someone else already used it. You also are a douche. So, really, I could give a shit about you or Jeff. I also have no problem being a jewish mouse. The fact that you catty bitches think that INSULTS me, is really funny. Especially when you oblivious motherfuckers could not even pick up an EASY REFERENCE. Many of you did not wish Adam Yauch well. Which is not cool.
    Leah: if you go read some early articles about TDK. They do focus on how awesome Ledger’s character is, and how he steals the movie. It’s possible Nolan and Co. could have focused on the Joker more, but the emphasis of the awesome Joker already existed.

  36. Lota says:

    hell. I shouldn’t have drank all that Saki last night, look what I missed.
    interesting observations Leah. maybe the Crow/Brandon Lee memoriam was in mind long before Heath died (by Heath).
    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1922009600/tt0109506
    hence some resemblances that seem more than coincidence, and even some of the behaviors. I don;t know much about the making of the Dark Knight to know if that came up before.
    If there’s gonna be some *Hotblog Poster* throwing, I hope it will be all safe-like on gymnastics mats.

  37. leahnz says:

    oh lota you minx! i LOVE saki
    great link, btw, that poster is quite telling; there are certainly some distinct similarities between ‘eric draven/the crow’ and ledger’s ‘joker’, seemingly more than a mere ‘koinkidink’ like you say, i wonder what the scoop is…

  38. Martin S says:

    IO – I think me and Martin arrived at almost the exact same time.
    Leah – The TDK cut and length had a lot to do with Nolan’s approach that since he wasn’t signed for a third, he wanted to have a finality to TDK. It was originally two films, with Two-Face as the focus of the third and Joker in the b.g. That, IIRC, was a decision made late in pre-production.
    I can’t believe someone is trying to re-boot The Crow. As if the concept was mauled enough.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon