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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

Larry H Parker Got Me $45m… And I Helped Cause The Accident!!!


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26 Responses to “Larry H Parker Got Me $45m… And I Helped Cause The Accident!!!”

  1. Eldrick says:

    thats right David, expose that manipulative Conan and dont let him get away with it.

  2. David Poland says:

    You know, Eldrick, it’s an interesting situation.
    I don’t think Conan started as anything more than a pawn in this situation. He failed to draw more than his base… slight upturn with 18-35s… but he seems to be a clear 12:35a or cable star. Nothing wrong with that.
    But the need to demonize NBC or Leno on this is a little manipulative, no?
    Do we know the last time someone was released for failing with a $40m+ payday? Is that person really a victim?
    Yeah, it sucks for him. But he failed up in a massive way. He’s not likely to have another 11 or 11:35a opportunity in a hurry… and if he does, he isn’t likely to do much better than he did. And that will be true whether Leno was damaged worse than NBC hopes or not when he returns to The Tonight Show.
    I have never liked Leno in late night. I liked him as a comic before he took the job at Tonight, but he mainstreamed himself into boredom for me. I very rarely watched his monologue… or Conan’s for that matter. I am a Letterman guy, first and last. And I liked Conan’s slot between the monologue and the interviews. And with all of them, I would surf for interviews I was interested in watching.
    But we are already seeing cooler heads prevail. Conan is more than whole. Letterman is acting like a petulant child, still angry at Leno from their earlier dance. And we’ll see what happens with Leno.
    What drives me nuts is this angry scream of hypocritical rage. I’m not angry at Conan. I am very, very, very disappointed in a smart guy like Josef Adalian losing all journalistic perspective and becoming a shrill fanboy. But he works for a site that would fuck a live animal for a page view, so such is life. Mostly, I am saddened by the lack of perspective shown by people.
    And though I really haven’t felt like getting into it, Mark Cuban happens to be 100% right on this. Jeff Zucker may be a lot of bad things, but this move was not moronic and the response to it was decisive and strong. The question will be where we are in a year or two and who does take The Tonight Show when Leno really is done.
    But all this rage… almost always a sign of complete wrongheadedness.

  3. LexG says:

    1) Not to rehashing the same issues for the umpteenth time, but wan’t the “decisive and strong” call made because the affiliates were screaming bloody murder over LENO tanking at 10, more than Conan getting his balance at 11:35?
    2) DP, I understand you’re trying to keep it all in perspective from a sensible business angle, but more than a few here are just taking note of the glee, for lack of a better word, that you display in having this (somewhat minority) opinion. I know you’re not, but it does read a little like giddy Conan-bashing.
    And, really, how can anybody get joy out of dissing Conan? That’s like not liking puppies, or Drew Barrymore, or Jen Yamato, or something.

  4. Biscuits says:

    I love it. You’re “saddened by a lack of perspective shown by people.”
    And then you proceed to praise Jeff Zucker as decisive and strong.
    Now. I know you’re specifically talking about Zucker’s latest moronic decision here. But by doing that you, David Poland, are failing to put his, Jeff Zucker’s, failure in the proper context. You’re defending the man who took over NBC in first place and will leave them in last place. You’re defending the man who made the decision to replace Leno back in 2004, even though he was #1 in the ratings. You’re defending the man who gave Leno a guaranteed two year contract in the 10 pm slot despite how risky a move it was. You’re defending the man who hired Ben Silverman and the man who fired Kevin Reilly. You’re defending the man whose spectacular fall has been documented, analyzed, and criticized by the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and almost every other institution you can think of. You’re defending the man who will be out of his job by the time Conan has his new one.
    And the only person you can find who agrees with you is another “champion of change,” Mark Cuban, the man who turned six billion dollars into two billion by investing in his own series of spectacular money losers — HDNet, 2929, and Landmark Theatres. Talk about a record that makes Jeff Zucker look good.
    David’s perspective is not a “somewhat minority opinion” Lex. It is an incredibly, enormously minority opinion. This isn’t a Democrats congressional majority vs a Republican minority territory. This isn’t even Green Party territory. This is the Nazi Party of America territory.
    Yeah yeah yeah, fine. Hyperbole. But I’m demonstrating a point here. Poland is taking an extremely contrarian viewpoint (some people, like me, would say an extremely nonsensical viewpoint) and then has the nerve to call out Joe Adalian for losing HIS journalistic perspective. It’s kind of incredible.
    Well, at least you have one thing in common with Letterman and Conan, David — this whole mess has managed to make all three of you funnier.

  5. Me says:

    I don’t know how anyone can look at this whole thing as anything more than a big fail by just about everyone.
    Jay failed at 10 p.m. because even though NBC was making a profit, it was hurting the affiliates.
    Conan was failing, as most of Jay’s audience (the audience that had kept him beating Dave and Jimmy regularly) faded away. This is the part the Coco-nuts seem to gloss over in their defense. They complain that his lead in wasn’t good because of Leno, conveniently forgetting that Letterman gets the best lead-ins, but was still losing to Jay. They also don’t seem to acknowledge that Fox might not want to get into the Conan business considering where his ratings have been at.
    Zucker failed all over the place and should be seen as continuing to fail until he outlines what the plan is for once Jay retires.
    Letterman is coming off like a bitter man who still hasn’t gotten over something that happened more than a decade ago, and also seems pretty self serving defending the host he regularly beats in the ratings against the guy he loses to. And this is coming from a guy who chooses Dave over either Tonight Show host.
    The only winner is people who want to watch dramas on NBC at 10 p.m., which I’m much more likely to watch than anything on late night. Hell, NBC’s already gotten me hooked with the Parenthood promos.

  6. IOIOIOI says:

    Rage is a sign of wrongheadedness? What a fucking douche. It’s rage at an injustice situation that you think is JUST! Conan was saddled with a lead-in that was a TALK SHOW! If you remove Leno from primetime and possibly give his audience a reason to watch the only talk show on NBC, then things may be different. Instead Leno refuses to go home and fuck his wife and tinker on his cars, and now he’s a scumbag in countless people’s eyes.
    You also need to get this through your tanned Dice Clay, NBC has made the number one network only stronger. They have handed FOX a guy who got his mojo back and has a reason to fight. Zucker is not only stupid for doing this. It will be his lasting legacy once Comcast boots his ass upstairs and out of the way.
    FOX now has the entire IDOL cycle to hype Conan O’Brien. They now have the entire Saturday Night Baseball game season to hype Conan O’Brien. Did I also mention that they have the first half of the Nascar season to hype Conan O’Brien? Seriously David, you are so fucking far into nutty land that it would make sense you would fall for fucking SMURFS ON BATTLECAT. What a disappointment you are as a man but as a woman you are doing alright (TWO BIG THUMBS UP!)

  7. IOIOIOI says:

    Fallon is a musical variety hour with interviews… KEEP READING!

  8. christian says:

    At this point, anybody who spends more than 30 seconds feeling sorry for Conan is…well, deluded.

  9. Joe Leydon says:

    You know, it may be impossible to access the numbers on the Internet… but I wonder what (if any) effect Jack Parr’s Friday night prime-time talk show had on the ratings for Johnny Carson. Parr’s 10 pm ET show was on for three years. Did Johnny have a noticeable downturn in viewers on Friday nights during this period?

  10. IOIOIOI says:

    Christian, deluded? You and Poland are both pushing 50. Those of us who are not, will stand with Coco, and Coco has got his mojo back. He’s been freed thanks to old people like you and Dave. Now FOX will have the late night leader in a few years as Leno slowly gets funnier looking each passing year. Deluded? Look in the mirror then give me 20.

  11. christian says:

    Conan is pushing 50, not me. And he’s AWESOME. I guess being a young man and all, I don’t have time to watch Conan interview reality tv stars. Conan Freed? What sad planet do you live on IO?

  12. christian says:

    And as far as your ability to stay in touch, IO, one word: AVATAR.

  13. The Big Perm says:

    Hey look, IO is defending blind rage. What a shocker.

  14. LexG says:

    I don’t know, everyone says “CONAN ON FOX!” like it’s some be-all, end-all solution, like Conan could go there and just dominate, doing vintage “Late Night”-level bits without dumbing it down, and the masses will just follow. But could he really pull more than Kimmel numbers against the news and Jay/Letterman, especially if the idea is unfiltered, off-kilter Conan?
    Anyone else get Chevy Chase flashbacks when they hear Fox talk show at 11pm? Obviously the major problem there was the show just sucked, but Fox at 11 is pretty unproven; Didn’t Rivers and pre-syndication Arsenio flop in that spot?
    Maybe it’s just something psychological, but decades of conditioning has people NOT expecting late-night comedy at 11-even, or much more than reassuring, comforting sitcom reruns on the local affiliates. Plus, Fox is just too “yellow” for talk show comedy; NBC and CBS have a homier, more inviting “look” to their broadcast signal. It’s not something people consciously notice, but come on… think of how wan, colorless and depressing everything on ABC is. The Fox “look” doesn’t feel very Conan.

  15. Cadavra says:

    TV shows get cancelled every month, and many of them don’t even last seven weeks, let alone seven months. And they sure as hell don’t get tens of millions in going-away money. This should never have been a story in the first place.
    IMHO, Zucker blew it in 2004. He should have stuck with Jay and wished Conan best of luck if he wanted to move on. Conan is not and never will be a mainstream, middle-brow comedian. Anyone who didn’t see this coming long ago is a fool.
    Fallon actually had a funny line last night: “There have been three hosts of ‘Late Night’–Letterman, Conan and me. Hosting ‘Late Night’ guarantees you will never succeed as host of ‘The Tonight Show.’ So I’m staying right here.”

  16. torpid bunny says:

    Fuck yeah, urban hipsters will see conan promos on Fox Saturday night baseball and be so jazzed about conan. Baseball, nascar and conan are going to be a synergistic media sensation.

  17. IOIOIOI says:

    Christian, go listen to Sleigh Bells, then realize I am not a little kid or an old fuck, and that’s why I could give two bags of MONKEY SHIT ABOUT AVATAR! It’s Jurassic Park and it will have the same footnote in history as Jurassic Park: cool effects movie that becomes incredibly dated and all but forgotten. Seriously dude, you do not have what it’s got, you never have, and that’s the reason you are where you are.
    Perm, you have posted more hateful shit on this blog than anyone ever has, and my rage will always be blind towards anyone like you, but it’s not BLIND RAGE. It’s going against an unjust action. You really have always been a fucking waste that would be disposed on any other board. Unlike your ass, I bring the post counts up, and help those ad buys. Suck a duck.
    Torpid, who are you again? Oh you are some motherfucker who thinks Conan does not fit in with those audiences. Really, you people, still do not get it, you never have, and you are so lucky you have someone like me who tries to help you to get it. Now go do something with your lives. I do not have all fucking day to put you fucking people in your places.

  18. The Big Perm says:

    Your mother’s dick called. It misses your greasy lips that keep it warm.

  19. IOIOIOI says:

    Oh jesus, some random asshole insulted me on the internet! LAWDY LAWDY LAWDY!!! WHAT WILL I DO? Simply type this; “Oh shut the fuck up you vulgar shit stain. Why don’t you go get yourself together, give your self a shave, and go outside? Oh I forgot, you are a hideous fucking chud of a human being that gets off on disgusting shit that makes Jeff McMahon and David Poland’s assholes tingle. Wow. You make two douchebags assholes tingle. Congratulations, your lame fucking ass is no better than a bathhouse towel boy. Now run along little bitch.”

  20. David Poland says:

    IO… regardless of how angry you are or are not, please curb the liberal use of obscenity. It’s more than enough already.

  21. IOIOIOI says:

    Oh David, I no longer give a damn what you ask of me. You fucking insult me then want me to do what you ask me to do on a blog, that’s supposed to be a FREE FOR ALL? Uh fuck no. That’s a BIG FUCK NO. Until you fucking get it through your skull that I DRIVE THE CAR and you are simply THE ROAD I choose to use, then I might stop cursing. Until then, delete all my post, ban my account, and other random bullshit. Who Cares? This blog is cool when a bunch of twats are not randomly attacking me.

  22. Cadavra says:

    Wow. IO has become the new Lex, minus the boners.

  23. Joe Leydon says:

    Or, as Nelly would put it:
    DP had better wake up and be willing to learn,
    IO is in the driver’s seat and willing to turn.
    Lex has got K-Stew’s shorties, asking “Yo, where’s the party?”
    Oh, Lordy! But IO is the one who’s really acting naughty!
    IO is number one.
    No matter if you like it,
    Better just sit down and write it.
    But what does it take to be number one?
    Perm is not a winner, and Jeff, no one remembers.
    IO is number one.

  24. torpid bunny says:

    “I do not have all fucking day to put you fucking people in your places.”
    For some reason this reminds me of David Cross mirror-dancing and singing “I’m a super-star in a super-star world.”

  25. The Big Perm says:

    Honestly, DP is right. IO needs to curb the fucking bullshit cursing.

  26. storymark says:

    Ah, IO, the definition of a 12-year-old with a keyboard.
    I don’t care how old you “really” are kid, you’re a temperamental child.

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