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David Poland

By David Poland

“I Am The God Of Thunder And Lightning And Press Conferences!!!”

There’s a press conference being held for Thor the Sunday before release.

My first reaction… Natalie Portman must be a bit delicate at this point.

No. No Nataloe.

Second reaction… Wait a second… a press conference… for THOR? Someone has lost perspective.

Third reaction… Oh… maybe it just sucks.

Fair? Not fair?

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24 Responses to ““I Am The God Of Thunder And Lightning And Press Conferences!!!””

  1. IOv3 says:

    Oh David. You don’t even hide your contempt anymore. Our little boy has become a man! DAVID POLAND… HE IS A MAN!

  2. NickF says:

    The movie sucking seems pretty certain at this point.

  3. IOv3 says:


    (Seriously, a Thor movie, is happening in 3 weeks. A FREAKING THOR MOVIE!)

  4. scooterzz says:

    but it’s not just a press conference…it’s a press conference with 11 people at one time…kinda guarantees nothing usable will come from it (which is what they’re hoping)….smells pretty bad….

  5. scooterzz says:

    and the absence of ms portman from this massive press conference is a little telling….

  6. leahnz says:

    the sunday night BEFORE release? what is there to talk about in a press conference for a movie nobody has seen yet, i don’t get it.

    “yes, i play thor, yes, he DOES have a very big hammer.” at least i could see the rationale of a post-mortem but this seems like putting the cart before the horse

  7. Drew McWeeny says:

    There are also several screenings and traditional press interviews being done for the film. It’s not like this press conference (a fairly standard part of any press event at this point) is the only press opportunity, and the week before release is also fairly standard as dates go for when these things happen.

    In other words, the date and the fact that there’s a press conference means… ummmmmm… nothing? At all?

  8. Don R. Lewis says:

    I thought Comic-Con 2010 was the press conference for THOR. Oh wait, that was THE AVENGERS. In any case…

  9. actionman says:

    I can’t imagine that Marvel is going to plunk down over $150 million on a stand-alone Thor movie and then include the character in The Avengers if they didn’t know EXACTLY what they would be getting.

    It’s a fucking COMIC BOOK MOVIE for chrissakes…

  10. Anghus says:

    You know what just hit me. In all the materials I’ve seen for the film, have we ever seen Thor flying?

    Does he not fly in the film?

    Marvel has no real iconic counterpart to Superman, other than Thor. Shouldn’t there be one shot of Thor in the clouds, lightning cracking all around him?

  11. IOv3 says:

    Actually, the iconic counterpart to Superman from Marvel is Cap. He’s basically the Marvel universe Superman. We also do not know if Thor flies yet, but one would think he will have to do so. The same should be stated about that helmet. He needs to fly with the helmet on.

  12. chris says:

    Hey, at least the movie is being screened with a decent, more-than-a-week lead time. Unlike, say, “Water for Elephants.”

  13. storymark says:

    So, basically, they have a press junket planned just before release? Wow, stop the presses!

    I think it looks cool so far.

  14. bulldog68 says:

    unrelated but no BYOB for today yet.
    Only yesterday, saw an ad for The Conspirator. Are they burying a Robert Redford movie?

    Also was surprised as hell to see Roland Emmerich as director of Anonymous. First he destryoed the world, now he’s destroying Shakespeare. Gotta say though, I love the tag line, “We’ve all benn played.”

  15. storymark says:

    “Does he not fly in the film?”

    I’ve seen one commercial where he mentions he’s going to fly…. But who knows if they pay that off or not.

    I do agree with your general point. I feel Marvel has a real problem featuring good money shots in their trailers lately. I really felt this way about the Captain America trailer (which I otherwise enjoyed). They have all this production art floating around with Cap in huge battles, sunset peeking through the haze of war – epic images that should have been present to some degree in the trailer. And instead they end with a gag about his shield blocking a bullet. Ooooh.

  16. SamLowry says:

    I could possibly mention that I’d heard the writer of The Conspirator took his first shot at the script in ’93, long before everyone assumed it was just an allegory about Gitmo, but then you can’t really trust the LA Times or NPR, now can you?

  17. David Poland says:

    “the week before release is also fairly standard as dates go for when these things happen.”

    Drew… not saying it’s a death sentence to be doing it this way or anything about you, but no, 5 days before release is not fairly standard.

    Press conferences for movies in which there are not stars who won’t do press… not fairly standard. (A press conference with a pregnant Portman would not raise an eyebrow.)

    And I am pretty sure that standard press handling, in your case, means geek press handling (as perceived by the studio). Is that unfair?

    It may mean nothing.

    It may mean that it’s car wreck.

    It may mean that Par doesn’t much care anymore as Marvel is on the way out of dodge.

    I certainly don’t see an invite from Paramount coming for me anytime soon… if ever. And I would expect critics who don’t do features to see it on a normal schedule, Monday or Tuesday, week of opening.

  18. IOv3 says:

    Yeah, unless this thing is on the east coast, then Portman most likely is not going to show up. Seriously David, it’s good to know Paramount hates you because, THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR GOOFING ON THE MULTIPLE STAR TREK HOME VIDEO RELEASES!

  19. Drew McWeeny says:

    For press conferences?

    Yes, David… weekend before release is fairly common these days. I’m not sure if it’s just because you don’t have to deal with junkets, but you’re wrong about that.

    At least 2/3 of all of the films that have press events now stack them into the weekend before release, and that includes the press conference which seems to be a regular part of things at this point.

  20. Eric says:

    Correct me if I am wrong but isn’t this movie coming out in Australia next week and other countries on the 28th so it would be kind of hard to hide the quality until USA release week. Reviews would be popping up online on imbd and rotten tomtotoes.

  21. PastePotPete says:

    Paramount movie = Poland with knives out. The friday the movie opens he’s probably going to trash whatever the midnight shows do too. SOP.

    Meanwhile he gives positive press to Fox and their monkey movie. Same old same old from Poland.

    And he criticizes Nikki Finke for being a studio boss puppet. She’s just run by different studios than he is.

  22. IOv3 says:

    Triple P, I just like that Paramount hates him. It does the heart good.

  23. Steven says:

    I have never read a more foolish and pointless blurb as from this Poland dolt. BTW Reviews are out and they are almost 100% resoundingly positive. Thanks for the twaddle.

  24. Steven says:

    Oh, and he flew in a movie spot two weeks ago. He said in the same spot that he flies. Also, reviews from Collider, Variety, etc, have confirmed that he flies.

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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon