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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB: I’m Not Really Here

I was supposed to be landing on the other side of the world right now. But alas, I am still in Los Angeles. It was so much funnier when Europe was being inconvenienced by volcanic ash clouds. Not so funny when I’m being inonvenienced. Karma cloud.

My computer went in for repair, as I was due to be away… so it’s Hot iPod Blog for the next few days.

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44 Responses to “BYOB: I’m Not Really Here”

  1. ErinMemory says:

    Can anyone explain how Horrible Bosses got made? At what point does one of thousands of people say this is a bad idea? No matter how many neon old school clichés they splash on billboards or how many times they show Jen’s “cleavage” I still am just flabbergasted. Didn’t anyone at NL or Rat say OMG – DOV? Send the Kong kid back to Texas and demote somebody! At least Little Nicky had the pineapple… sad days.
    RIP – PF, you were loved.

  2. yancyskancy says:

    I haven’t seen HORRIBLE BOSSES. If I see it and like it, then maybe I’ll have an idea of why it was made. Until then, my guess is that at least some of those involved thought the script was good, or at least the pitch.

  3. LexG says:

    Can we get that in English, please?

    Also, pretty much everybody thinks “Horrible Bosses” looks funny. If nothing else, it’s one of those concepts like “Office Space” that everyone can relate to.

    Why is the DEFAULT MODE of everybody in LA and everybody who circles the biz to be ANTI everything in advance? That whole cynical/disillusioned “movies used to be better” shtick seems entirely the providence of people on the fringes; You ever see Reese or Leo or Nolan or Bay or Spielberg or Gosling do interviews about how much all movies suck these days and how much better things used to be and bitching about everything that comes out? No.

  4. Paul MD (Stella's Boy) says:

    I think Horrible Bosses looks funny and hope to see it in theaters. Obviously comedy is subjective but I’m surprised someone thinks that it, of all movies, has such a questionable existence.

  5. Joe Leydon says:

    LexG: You know, I’ve hung around this blog long enough to have developed this default mode: Whenever someone posts “Why did this movie get made?” — I suspect what they really mean is, “Why didn’t my movie get made?”

  6. Madam Pince says:

    Hollywood is like the movie “Highlander”: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

    Just like the existence of Amy Adams pushed Isla Fisher to the B-list fringes, so the existence of Chris Evans renders Ryan Reynolds redundant. I foresee Reynolds getting increasingly fringe B-list and Evans ascending to A-list.

  7. ErinMemory says:

    It’s Strangers on a Train, as a bad SNL skit with K. Spacey(as himself) reprising his Swimming with Sharks role and Colin Farrell as Les Grossman. It might be like office space if it had believable characters or an original thought but alas it does not. * NOTE* If you do not understand the previous statement or believe it is not in English please, enjoy the movie!

  8. LexG says:

    Erin, I didn’t know what RIP PF meant in the context of a post about New Line; I assume now it’s Peter Falk, but somehow it read like you were eulogizing someone at New Line or the studio itself. I still don’t know what “the Kong kid” refers to.

  9. Ironic, since Ryan Reynolds more or less displaced Jason Lee just as the latter was gaining momentum…

  10. Paul MD (Stella's Boy) says:

    “It might be like office space if it had believable characters or an original thought but alas it does not.”

    So you have already seen the movie?

  11. ErinMemory says:

    The director also directed King of Kong, a cult “hit”. Don’t label people because of your baggage. I’m not ragging on everything, there’s not one, there’s plenty to choose from. I find this movie and it’s add campaign an assault on intelligence beyond the normal Hollywood BS. (New Line died a long time ago… no need to hash it over.)

    Peter Falk was hella cool though and it’s sad the drama he had to go through with his family.

    @ Madam – Never saw Ryan as very macho even in green. Thank Depp, Chris Evans took the role, HELLO CAPTAIN!

  12. ErinMemory says:

    Oh Paul… sorry for confusing you. Sometimes there’s other industry folks here I can grumble with. You remind me of male sports fans who make me prove my allegiance because they’re stunted. My opinion isn’t that big of a deal. You can see the movie for yourself and then write an op-ed for the times.

  13. Paul MD (Stella's Boy) says:

    Wow you sure are cranky and defensive Erin. You speak about the movie as if you have seen it, hence my question, which was fairly innocuous. Maybe you need to choose your words more carefully. You are right about your opinion not being a big deal.

  14. palmtree says:

    “It’s Strangers on a Train, as a bad SNL skit with K. Spacey(as himself) reprising his Swimming with Sharks role and Colin Farrell as Les Grossman.”

    Remove the word “bad” and I believe you have a viable movie pitch there. I don’t think originality is necessarily a high priority…

  15. yancyskancy says:

    Yeah, I thought it was pretty clear that Paul just wanted some clarity. Erin, I’m sure you thought you were being clear, but this far ahead of release we don’t automatically assume a poster’s comments are based on seeing the film. If you have indeed seen it, then at least we know your opinion is based on something besides trailers, hunches and buzz. Your response to Paul suggests you work in the industry, have seen the film and were primarily addressing others who have seen it. Maybe the insiders got that; the rest of us were left to parse.

  16. Triple Option says:

    I immediately thought of 9 to 5 when I saw the trailer for Horrible Bosses. I’m not saying it’s one of them but some movies on paper do make you wonder, “Huh?! Really?? THAT?!”

  17. LexG says:

    Sudekis, Farrell, Day, Applegate = ALL AWESOME.

    Bateman is, too, but… again? I know he’s seizing his moment after a lean 15 years or so, but does he REALLY need to do 15 movies a year? He’s made more movies in the last four or five years than Warren Beatty has made in his entire career.

    It’s kind of one of my “comedy” pet peeves, that those guys don’t just do feature leads, but they all have to do cameos in each other’s movies, plus TV, plus Funny or Die videos, plus hosting things… How about a little mystique in a performer? That whole gang that circles around the McKay/Apatow/Wain/Ferrell, etc movies– Wiig, Koechner, Ansari, Ken Jeong, Rob Riggle, McBride– sometimes a little goes a long way; If they could limit themselves to like three acting projects per year instead of three per month, would be nice.

  18. movielocke says:

    Switching to TV for a moment, there’s a good interview that just went up about the VFX of Game of Thrones with Before/After shots of some of what they did (the Wall, Red Keep, Winterfell, The Eyrie), mostly locations/set extensions. The article also talks about some of the realities of their effects budget and suggests that the same company probably will be unable to do season 2. Are we going to see any DP Emmy watch for this series?

    Warning! the interview spoils the amazing final scene of the season.

  19. movielocke says:

    Damn, wrong link, the direct link to the article is here:

  20. Hallick says:

    “It’s kind of one of my “comedy” pet peeves, that those guys don’t just do feature leads, but they all have to do cameos in each other’s movies, plus TV, plus Funny or Die videos, plus hosting things… How about a little mystique in a performer? That whole gang that circles around the McKay/Apatow/Wain/Ferrell, etc movies– Wiig, Koechner, Ansari, Ken Jeong, Rob Riggle, McBride– sometimes a little goes a long way; If they could limit themselves to like three acting projects per year instead of three per month, would be nice.”

    Sudeikis is a king of this coat-tailing career to me and his success in Hollywood confounds me. Riggle does too, to a smaller degree.

  21. sanj says:

    i agree with LexG – but Wiig, Koechner, Ansari, Ken Jeong, Rob Riggle, McBride aren’t worthy enough to get a DP/30 .
    so that’s something ?

    Jason Bateman should automatically get a dp/30 cause he’s
    been acting for like 30 years … Bateman should just pick
    up a phone and yell at DP for not giving a DP/30 by now .
    i liked his acting in the Kingdom ..

    David Koechner needs a DP/30 … he always plays the
    crazy characters .. plus he does voice overs for lots of cartoons ..hes got 9 films coming out this year
    maybe DP will see one of them .

    the other people on the list have done several interviews on other media ..everybody knows their stories about acting and stuff.

  22. JS Partisan says:

    Yeah Horrible Bosses looks god damn awful. Absolutely god damn awful.

  23. sanj says:

    why isn’t anybody covering the iffa awards in Toronto

    indian version of oscars ? they are selling this event
    with pay per view

    DP how’d you miss out on this ? you could have had dozens of DP/30 with the biggest stars ..

  24. Hallick says:

    “why isn’t anybody covering the iffa awards in Toronto”

    Because Bollywood movies still haven’t broken through in the US, which is a pretty good prerequisite for garnering coverage here.

  25. sanj says:

    it would have been easier this year to cover boollywood movies cause it’s in Toronto .which is easy to travel too
    plus the actors actually speak english ..

    but i find it odd that lots of movie blogs aren’t covering this event .. the same movie blogs that will fly down to Cannes to cover that event

    Aishwarya Rai on Letterman – funny

    i wonder how many Aishwarya Rai movies DP has seen … she’s still super popular and got on Oprah ..
    DP would have to watch like 10 of her movies just for 30 minute interview .. and that’s probably not easy because of all the musicals that could be boring .

    DP did interview Noomi Rapace for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo but didn’t go into detail about any of her other dozen movies she did .

  26. Hallick says:

    That’s because Cannes is a major film festival that often world premieres movies from some of the best directors working today. Whatever the merits of the nominees, IFFA is an obscure awards show and probably gets as little coverage here as the Goyas in Spain, the Genies in Canada, etc.

  27. christian says:

    There’s even a prison rape joke in the ads for HORRIBLE BOSSES because man, that is really something you’ve never heard before.

  28. nikki whisperer says:

    Can DP start a weekly BYO thread just for Sanj? Maybe call it BYODP/30 where Sanj can put all his interrogations about David’s interviews and suggestions for future DP/30s in one convenient place? Maybe we can get DZ from Hollywood-Elsewhere in there, too, and it can be to comment threads what Andy Kaufman was to performance art.

  29. sanj says:

    so why can’t a tv network figure out a way to make monney off movie award shows that aren’t the oscars .. bafta / genie awards are mostly english .. those show
    be easier to sell to advertisers .

    how else are these film awards supposed to get popular ?
    amc / hbo / ifc …they could probably do it ..

    last year i liked the independent spirit awards way more then the oscars

    the only dp/30 that got attention was Todd Phillips.

    would it kill the movie blogs to mention international non english films once in awhile ..

  30. Joe Leydon says:

    Something to tell my film students next time I show them Network and explain that the movie used to be considered a satire.

  31. SamLowry says:

    Holy crap. Psychics?

    R.I.P., CNN. “Chicken Noodle News” on the way in and again on the way out.

  32. sanj says:

    i was watching cnn today and they got some woman to review cars 2 .. she said the plot was more complicatd than inception.

    the only real journalist they have is cooper .,..and he’s going to do a daytime talk show.

    cnn is just boring .. i get all my news from colbert.
    he’s smarter than everybody on cnn.

    daily show / colbert is the best good it belongs on
    bbc and pbs ..where the real news is.
    i haven’t missed a show of theirs this year ..
    they really need to be on 7 days a week.
    somebody give them more money so people can
    get more news from them.

  33. yancyskancy says:

    I enjoy Michael Wilmington’s column, and I haven’t yet seen BAD TEACHER — but boy, the “comedy stylings” of his negative review suggest that his opinions of the genre should be taken with a rather large grain of salt.

  34. sanj says:

    Jessica Alba tweets ..

    Up 2 early 4 no reason… Bummed!/jessicaalba/status/80254550434512896

    how is this possible …got millions of fans on the twitter and she’s bummed ?

    actors like her should be happy 24 hours a day .

    there’s at least 500 actors that can be happy about
    something when they go on the internets .. cause
    people will always say nice things about you .

  35. cadavra says:

    That this fatuous, untalented woman still has a career is the real bummer.

  36. Hallick says:

    There’s just no cure for reality. Not even fame. And most people just acclimate to their circumstances no matter how well off they are, so coming down five feet, even in the stratosphere, equals bummed.

  37. LexG says:

    Cadavra, ALBA is GOD. GOD. She is the world’s second most beautiful woman and a delightful actress. WATCH IT.

  38. sanj says:

    Keira Knightley – A Dangerous Method

    i don’t like this … good actors .bad movie.

    i predicted this first and beat you movie critics.
    yay me.


  39. cadavra says:

    I’d rather watch Rachel McAdams or Anne Hathaway.

    Or Helen Mirren.

  40. sanj says:

    how Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix “lost” $167M

  41. SamLowry says:

    It’s amusing that the “advance”, the cost of actually making the movie, isn’t considered an expense but an “investment”.

    So studios consider the money paid to the people who work for them an investment?

  42. JS Partisan says:

    This is reason enough to throw the whole COST stat out the window. The books are cooked and judging a movie by it’s supposed cost, is ridiculous.

  43. JKill says:

    Once the summer ends (although I’m greatly enjoying this year’s summer crop, moreso than I have in years and years), there’s some really exciting stuff from great heavy-hitters…


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It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
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“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

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