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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB: Beware The Day Before The Ides Of March

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40 Responses to “BYOB: Beware The Day Before The Ides Of March”

  1. IOv3 says:

    Those pictures make her look like a dude. Whomever approved them, should be fired, and let fucking go… right now.

  2. sanj says:

    the latest viral video – Rebecca Black Friday – music video

    now has millions of views and thousands of comments .

  3. Foamy Squirrel says:

    I couldn’t make it through the entire “Friday” video. I tried… but I just had to make it stop.

  4. JKill says:

    I’m not even sure I would call “Friday” a song. I couldn’t make it through either, FS. You’re not alone.

  5. IOv3 says:

    She’s just doing a god awful Keisa impersonation. A bad one, but nothing worth raking her over the coles. I have seen god awful, it involved mumbling British kids. Trust me, you don’t want to see it. It haunts your dreams and your waking hours.

  6. Storymark says:

    Even the best impersonation ever of Keisha would still be pretty lame.

  7. LexG says:

    1) It’s KE$HA

    2) Ke$ha RULES.


  8. sanj says:

    the Friday song hit 5 million views – not bad without
    being on one of those idol type shows and without
    doing a DP/30 … u know where you have to explain everything ..
    like which seat can she take ..

    I like Ke$ha – Take It Off Video – it has nice colors

    another video with millions of views – Home cover

  9. sanj says:

    movie reviewers get to see movies early
    so where are the reviews for hangover 2 , fast five ,
    x-men first class – super 8 – transformers 3 –
    cowboys and aliens . hey DP – you know all these actors
    aren’t they sending you dvds ? phone them up.

  10. torpid bunny says:

    Kudos to whoever programmed last night’s tv showing of the lame farce Charlie Sheen did in 1994 called The Chase. The film culminates with a third rate Keatonesque police chase to the Mexican border, Charlie abducting a wealthy Kristy Swanson who thinks he’s a sweet guy actually. The film is awful but fascinating for the distant, virtually catatonic Sheen, the center of a storm of sub-blues brothers vehicular mayhem, chronically narrowing his eyes as if trying to remember where he put his wallet or where he actually is.

  11. LexG says:

    The Chase rules, especially Sheen and Cary Elwes. Is it Flea or Kiedis who’s in that?

    Also: Why are all the LINCOLN LAWYER posters of McConaughey on his old-ass car in the barrio like he’s on a hoo-ride through East L.A.? Isn’t he just representing smirking white rich prick Ryan Phillippe? That poster makes it look like he’s gonna be teaching law to Byz Lats from The Shield or something.

  12. Nick Rogers says:

    Lex: It’s Flea *and* Kiedis, as Will and Dale. And Henry Rollins as one of the cops in pursuit.

  13. sanj says:

    that Rebecca Black Friday video went up 2 million views
    since i posted about it here .. 7 million views!

    plus take a look at all these parody versions

  14. LexG says:

    NINE YEARS without sex.

    YAY ME.

    So depressed.

  15. sanj says:

    DP – you should be the business guy for Netflix – right after you do a DP/30 interview you take out a briefcase full of money and just give it to the actors ..and the actors give you like 10000 dvds.

  16. sanj says:

    The Hottie Body Jim-Miracle Diet – Jimmy Kimmel

    lots of actresses in this …

  17. Paul MD (Stella's Boy) says:

    Groupon is offering $6 tickets to The Lincoln Lawyer. Start of a new trend?

  18. LexG says:

    Sanj is wearing the act into the ground, but that 5:24am post about Poland being the business guy with a briefcase of money in exchange for DVDs is a giddily absurd flight of fancy. So fucking stupid but can’t stop picturing it and laughing.

  19. IOv3 says:

    I am convinced now that Chucky is Sanj. A post the other week had too much Chucky in it.

  20. JKill says:

    Yeah the 5:42 post is Sanj’s masterpiece. It’s hilarious. He should pull a George Costanza, and now leave on a high note.

  21. sanj says:

    DP being part of Netflix business side would save tons of time and money for all that digital content … unless DP wants to go to hulu or another streaming site .
    DP knows business movie numbers better than most movie critics ..

    World’s Greatest Extra – 1 actor in lots of tv shows that
    shows up for 30 seconds ..

  22. movielocke says:

    Trailer dropped for one of the 2011 BP frontrunners today. A film that is a threat to get BP, BD, screenplay, Actor, and Actress nominations (though possibly nothing but those big five).

    If it’s a hit at the box office (150 million or so) I could see it being a film that is hard to beat. It seems to me that it is going to be a bullseye in terms of hitting the academy right in the heart.

    And don’t be deceived by the slapstick tone of the trailer, I’m going to bet all that broad comedy is disguising what is really a heartwarming dramedy, and that the film is going to feel relevant, and possibly be making the entire audience cry (followed up by a big cheer twist) at the end of the film, taking them through a little catharsis. Jerry Maguire, baby.

  23. sanj says:

    so i went to see Rango but it was sold out .

    i didn’t want to wait 2 hours + so i forced myself to
    watch Battle LA …theatre was half full and everybody
    was nearly quiet throughout the movie …

    yes. i went to a movie without watching a DP/30 about
    the movie.

  24. LexG says:

    How awesome is the CHING CHONG LING LONG chick from UCLA?

    SO HOT. WANT HER. WANT. The first photographic evidence since 1977 Suzanne Sommers of a Caucasian blonde woman in the city of Los Angeles.

  25. Jeffrey Boam's Doctor says:

    Sheen must be annoyed that Ching Chong Chick is taking so many eyes away from his car crash. real question is will she end up on Amazing Race or Real World? How far can big tits and some old fashioned racism take you in this wacky world?

  26. sanj says:

    found the video that LEXG was talking about – with more
    commentary videos

  27. scooterzz says:

    re: ‘lincoln lawyer’…he does business out of the backseat of his car (a lincoln)…best selling novel…you continue to be a moron…

    re: your suggestion that sanj is running his act ‘into the ground’….you continue to be a moron…

    absolutely no wonder you haven’t been laid in nine years…what you avoid mentioning is that it’s also nine years without love…. that’s something you’ll never have…

  28. LexG says:

    I love it when Scoot has one too many highballs and gets bitchy, totally out of the blue. You continue to be old.


  29. scooterzz says:

    …and, now you’re accusing/judging drinking habits…do you see the irony here?

  30. LexG says:

    Scooterzz, I’m not going to prolong this; I have told you COUNTLESS times– COUNTLESS– here and on Wellsblog that I have NO beef with you, think you seem like a great interesting guy with a good perspective, I enjoy your posts, I have never made any attempt to cause drama with you or attack you unprovoked, at worst I’ve lobbed a few softballs when you’ve pressed and pressed to start trouble, something I have no desire to engage in with you, whom again I have no quarrel with whatsoever. And think of how easily I fly off the handle at ANY provocation with most anyone else, then consider how measure my reaction is when you try it. WHY do you do this every few months for NO REASON? It’s just mystifying to me, like if out of nowhere Leydon or Movieman or Yancyskancy or LYT or any of my other favorite regulars went on some blitzkrieg to engage me.

  31. LexG says:

    Also Mr. “You continue to be a Moron”: Your LINCOLN LAWYER answer doesn’t really make sense or answer anything, since I was asking why the poster art is McC and his Lincoln in some graffiti-ridden barrio hood, looking like LOST ANGELS and color-timed in ORION-VISION from 1991, as if the plot is McConaughey going into East LA to teach law.

    My question was why the HARD-CORE VATO EAST L.A. POSTER ART when the movie is about McConaughey defending a rich white asshole like Ryan Phillippe.

    Hope that Translation for the Comprehension-Deprived made sense to you. I know I used a hilarious reference to “hoo-banging” from 1993, when you were in your mid-50s, so you didn’t understand it… Maybe I should post it in all lowercase with a lot of ellipses.

  32. scooterzz says:

    lex– you have proven yourself to be a total boor…you’re a misogynistic, homophobic bully…you’re able to turn a phrase and use that to resort to the “oh, poor me” whine when actually called out…such a sad sack…please consider keeping some of your earlier promises…

  33. scooterzz says:

    jeeze, you dumb fuck…the movie is set in inglewood and boyle hights….idiot

  34. LexG says:

    Then ignore my posts. What’s it like being 70?

  35. scooterzz says:

    i will…what’s it like being 12?

  36. LexG says:

    I love it when Kevin Thomas has one too many squirrels and gets extra feisty in the wee hours.

  37. scooterzz says:

    at my absolute worst, I never equaled the behavior of Kevin Thomas… but, your lack of intel and ridiculous supposition certainly supports my impression of THE LEXMAN (you ARE still referring to yourself in the third person, aren’t you?)…

  38. LexG says:

    “you ARE still referring to yourself in the third person, aren’t you?”

    Fuck yeah!

    Nah, really man, BYGONES. Richard Fish style.

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon