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David Poland

By David Poland

Sloooooow Week

People are revved up about The Dark Knight, though interestingly, most of the box office hype is coming from Fandango and, which are hyping themselves and their services in the process. It feels more like a little like the noise over Sex & The City. Of course, that turned into a $57 million opening weekend… but people are hyping the upcoming one as being almost 2.5 times that big… and if you look at the old ticket pre-sale info, Dark Knight is not at running 2.5 times S&TX’s number. Still… anything can happen. The DK vibe is strong… but there is sure to be a lot of controversy around kids under 10 and women once they start seeing the film in droves.
I can’t stop singing “Mamma Mia,” but I still can’t reccomend the film.
There must be SOMETHING else to discuss, right?

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63 Responses to “Sloooooow Week”

  1. mutinyco says:

    He makes the best f**king films
    If I ever meet him I’m gonna grab his f**kin’ neck and just shake him
    And say thank you thank you for makin’ such excellent f**kin’ movies
    Then I’d twist his nose all the way the f**k around
    And the rip off one of his ears and throw it
    Like a like a like a f**kin’ frisbee
    I wanna chew his f**kin’ lips off and grab his head and suck out one of his
    eyes and chew on it and spit it out in his face
    And thank you thank you for all of your f**kin’ films
    Then I’d pick him up by the hair swing him over my head a few times
    And throw him across the room and kick all his f**kin’ teeth in and then
    stomp on his face 40 or 50 times
    Cuz he makes the best f**king films he makes the best f**king films
    I’ve ever seen in my life
    I f**kin love him
    I f**kin love him

  2. Joe Leydon says:

    This is creepy.

  3. rossers says:

    So, I do not think I have ever posted on this site, so excuse me for delineating from the usual patois or whatever, so, etc…
    … But I have been away from my computer for roughly two days *shock…absolutely*, and I have quite simply been overwhelmed by the content of this supposedly “slow week”. It seems that TDK is extending (or projecting) this subverted anxiety over it’s opening numbers (even more it’s sustainable numbers, i guess), i don’t know.
    Im not exactly specific in knowledge over box office (thats why i love you Davers) but I was wondering how the marketing and specifically its viral campaign will comment/elicit commentary on the movie from people, specifically pundits (funny little term to use there, i suppose).
    I think it will be batshit fucking if the movie does over 130, but then again, i did hear this cute little and overtly precocious 6 year old girl at Hancock talking about how much she wants to see the dark knight, so i have no idea…

  4. IOIOIOI says:

    One more time: DO NOT DOUBT THE FUCKING BATMAN. You have been warned.

  5. jeffmcm says:

    Joe, I agree with you.

  6. scooterzz says:

    i’m thinking there’s a two-face thing going on here….jus’ sayin’…

  7. bluelouboyle says:

    Mamma Mia was harmless fun. But my god Pierce Brosnan can NOT sing. The reviewer who said he sounds like a Walruss is being generous. His rendition of ‘SOS’ is a laugh riot.

  8. IOIOIOI says:

    i’ve got a man that makes me wanna kill
    i’ve got a man that makes me wanna kill
    i’ve got a man that makes me wanna
    oh i’ve gotta a man that makes me wanna kill
    please, please, please, please
    i’ve got a man that makes me wanna die
    i’ve got a man that makes me wanna die
    i’ve got a man that makes me wanna
    oh i’ve got a man that makes me wanna kill
    well we’re all gonna burn in hell
    i said we’re all gonna burn in hell
    cos we do what we’ve gotta do real well
    and we’ve got the fever to tell
    i said we’ve got the fever to tell
    i’ve got a man whose waiting for me
    i’ve got a man who makes the devil pale
    i’ve got a man that makes me wanna kill
    i’ve got a man that makes me wanna kill
    well we’re all gonna burn in hell
    i said we’re all gonna burn in hell
    cos we do what we’ve gotta do real well
    and we’ve got the fever to tell
    i said we’ve got the fever to tell
    hey hey, i’ve got a man
    yeah, yeah i’ve got a man
    hey, i’ve got a man
    Do not under-estimate the Joker either.

  9. LexG says:

    This is the chick who has some song about KISSING A GIRL but it’s NOT the Jill Sobule song from the mid-90s.

  10. Yay. Here’s to making homophobia even more mainstream!
    This entire entry is bizarre, I must say.
    Blue, at my screening the crowd was opening laughing at Pierce Brosnan. When he started up with his last song (I didn’t even recognise it he butchered it so much) i think I said “oh no, not again” far too loud. But everyone was thinking it so I didn’t feel so bad.

  11. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, I think everybody here is fine with you being lonely and horny and sad and desperate and all that in the privacy of your own home, but my personal issue is: we didn’t ask for you to share with us.

  12. bluelouboyle says:

    Kamikase – yes at my screening, in the normally sedate Kensington Odeon in west London, watching a movie can’t really be called a communal experience because the crowd is usually so lifeless. But they erupted when Brosnan did his thing. Or ‘throated-out’ as Lex would say.
    Speaking of Lex, I’ve only read this blog for a few months, but isn’t he just making fun of the typical sex-starved internet movie geek?

  13. jeffmcm says:

    It’s more complicated than that, he’s making fun of that type while embodying it, without irony, at the same time. It really is quite a feat.

  14. Chucky in Jersey says:

    There must be SOMETHING else to discuss, right?
    The potential collapse of the US financial system. When there’s a run on a bank and the LAPD is called in to ward off a potential riot, that tells you the ruling class is mightily scared.

  15. Joe Leydon says:

    Chucky: We are all dancing on the volcano’s edge. To paraphrase a line from Restoration: Too many of us have been sleeping. We are about to be rudely awakened.

  16. Quoting Restoration? How odd…

  17. doug r says:

    Dark Knight WILL open BIGGER than Batman Begins and the blogs will be talking about how disappointing it was because it didn’t match the hype.
    A good Batman movie won’t necessarily appeal to everyone, but will do well.
    I think the good numbers for Iron Man and Hancock could be us Bat-Fans watching SOMETHING before the darknight detective appears.

  18. bluelouboyle says:

    Those rioters trying to get their money back are wasting their time. The Federal goverment insures up to $100,000. I would have thought most of them don’t have that much.
    And contary to poular beliefm recent stats show the US economy (outside financial markets) to be doing better than everyone thinks:

  19. Josh Massey says:

    I am shocked and saddened the week’s biggest event flew under the radar.
    Die Hard turned 20 yesterday.

  20. Joe Leydon says:

    Kamy: Better still, I’m quoting a character played by a New Zealander. (One actually born in Northern Ireland, but that’s a mere detail.) I realize you might normally look down on Kiwis, but…

  21. mutinyco says:

    It’s not creepy. It’s a song. Google it. It’s about a famous director.

  22. BrandonS says:

    Knew it from the first line, mutinyco. “Martin Scorsese” by King Missile (of “Detachable Penis” semi-fame), yes? I went through a brief King Missile phase back in the early 90’s.

  23. repeatfather says:

    “And contary to poular beliefm recent stats show the US economy (outside financial markets) to be doing better than everyone thinks”
    I am certainly no economist, but I’ve read various places about how the optimists usually based their conclusions about the U.S. economy on statistics that extremely dubious or easily manipulated – such as the unemployment rate or GDP.
    I have a hard time believing that the financial sector’s woes can exist totally isolated from the rest of a supposedly fervent economy.

  24. David Poland says:

    My favorite thing about Brosnan in Mamma Mia! is that the first time he “sings,” the camera is moving away from him, we don’t really see his mouth and we do see the other two guys “sing” and there seems a real chance that Bond is going to be dubbed… we think we have escaped… and then… THE SOLO!!!
    Mwah ha ha!
    Way to set us up to be truly horrified!

  25. LexG says:

    This is at least twice now where KamiCamel has admitted to being a discourteous moviegoer. Really, sir, can you not shut your yap for two hours without having to the be the center of attention?
    I don’t care that it’s an obviously terrible movie like Prom Night or Mamma Mia… you are a rude little man if you’re making catty comments and tsking and otherwise being a nuisance while others are trying to enjoy a movie, even a bad one.
    How ARROGANT of you. Are you just a person who constitutionally CANNOT be alone with your thoughts for one minute? The fact that you seem to post or blog about every single idea that pops into your head kind of answers this question, but do you need constant validation at all times? What is the root of that?
    Share with us, KCamel. Share. Why can’t you be alone with your thoughts?

  26. LexG says:

    Poland, why wouldn’t you just refuse to see this movie?

  27. frankbooth says:

    Nonsense! Everything is splendid, Smithers! Kindly pass me the Grey Poupon.
    Am I in the minority in being dissapointed with the steelbook presentation? Case is fancy and all, but there’s no making-of doc!

  28. David Poland says:

    Between Lex, IO, and Mutiny, it’s become The Hot Performance Art Blog.
    He may be silly, but can’t fault Lex’s taste…
    Katy Perry (image posted BY Katy Perry)

  29. Aladdin Sane says:

    The Ebert has bestowed 4 stars upon The Dark Knight. Every other review is now a mute point.

  30. I am literally DYING to see DARK KNIGHT. I simply cannot…wait. Remember when you were a kid and you’d chew on paper on your back teeth and it felt kinda painful but kinda good and kinda weird? That’s how I feel about DARK KNIGHT.

  31. Also Aladdin…you know it’s “moot,” right? Right?

  32. Cadavra says:

    I think it was a Freudian slip, given that there are several people here we wish we could mute.

  33. LYT says:

    Saw Brosnan on the Daily Show last night, and even in the brief clip they showed (Brosnan and Streep singing “S.O.S.”), I was shocked by his singing voice — sounded like a dog baying at the moon.

  34. jeffmcm says:

    Actually, the economy would be kind of worth talking about if there were any actual economists here…we do seem to be crawling closer to a stagflation situation here where the Fed is going to have to raise interest rates before too long.

  35. LexG says:

    Awesome pic, DP!

  36. Aladdin Sane says:

    Don, I thought it looked funny. Firefox has spell check, but not grammar check. Oh well. Next time I’ll get it right.
    And that Katy Perry pic is awesome. I downloaded her latest song off of iTunes. Every fiber in my being knows it is not a great song by a long shot, but it’s so damn catchy.

  37. Roman says:

    I don’t care how much Dark Knight makes, will it beat Indy 4’s six day gross?
    More importantly, will it reach $300 million?

  38. David Poland says:

    If it does the first, Roman, it does the second.
    The key number is Friday’s. $50 million is the number to beat. Indy did $56 million on Thursday and Friday combined. Iron Man started with $39m.
    Batman Begins did less than 50% of its overall gross overseas, which means that even if it does $300m here, it could do less than Iron Man overall.
    Five films did $700m worldwide last summer. It looks like Indy is the only film that will get there this summer.

  39. frankbooth says:

    Literally, Don?
    Get thee to a hospital!

  40. Alpha Base says:

    I wish the whole “How much is TDK going to make and why the box office will be bigger than all summer blockbusters combined, because it’s such a masterpiece and give Ledger his Oscar already” blab got mute. Barf-friendly doesn’t even begin to describe it.

  41. IOIOIOI says:

    Every night my dream

  42. Joe Leydon says:

    So here I am in LA, at a hotel near LAX — and there’s a massive billboard for Meet Dave just across the way. Also, there’s a swimming pool just below my balcony — I’m on the second floor — and there are bikini-clad girls too young for even LexG to lust after splashing about. Think I’ll go hustle up a bottle of Merlot, kick back and enjoy the view.

  43. How can one person go from quoting the amazing Arcade Fire to then praising the homophobic git that is Katy Perry? She’s a retched little worm and I hope she falls off a cliff and dies. Retched. Little. Worm. It doesn’t surprise me that certain people are fans of her, considering they’re the exact sort of people who would use “gay” as a derogatory term.
    Lex, have fun on your perch out there. It’ll get cold eventually with just you and IO all alone out there.

  44. Okay that was a bit harsh. I don’t want Katy Perry to die. I just want her to shut her fuckin’ trap and to stop polluting the world with her offensive garbage. But no death. That’d be unfortunate.

  45. jeffmcm says:

    KCamel, it’s Joe, not Lex.
    I didn’t think they made bikinis for zygotes, though.

  46. Joe Leydon says:

    Holy Christ! Passed a gas station while on my way to the store… Regular here in LA is nearly 50 cents more per gallon than it is back in Houston. How do you folks live out here?

  47. Cadavra says:

    Not as well as we used to.

  48. LexG says:

    KCamel, how or why is Katy AWESOME Perry “homophobic”?
    And again, why are you so over-opinionated? Do you ever spend a quiet night of introspection sans music and friends, or do you need validation every second of your life?

  49. Joe Leydon says:

    Cadavra: I can feel your pain.
    On the plus side: My budget hotel has free high-speeed internet, free parking and MSNBC. Cowabunga. Last time I stayed in this neighborhood, at a higher-priced joint, I had to pay for parking and internet — and didn’t get MSNBC. I’m moving on up…

  50. jeffmcm says:

    Lex, you’re not getting enough irony in your diet if you’re going to ask questions like the above.

  51. LexG says:

    Yeah, Jeff, I see what you’re saying there, and obviously I’m no one to talk, but KCamel’s chatty Kathy routine clearly hides a dark, conflicted undercurrent and he should fess to it. I’m “on” at all times, too, but I’ll fully concede it’s because I’m a repressed workaday douche with an underactive social life. I get the sense the K to the CAM overcompensates in those very areas but still has essentially the same fears and anxieties.
    EVEN POLAND KNOWS on this subject and that pic gave me a boner especially since the rear chick seemed down for the backside which OWNS.

  52. LexG says:

    I’ve ALWAYS said that even into ancient-ahe mega-cougarhood, Mirren is fucking awesome.
    LEYDON NEAR LAX. If I weren’t 85 years away and a total suburbanized douche, I’m sad I didn’t agree to hit up the JET STRIP with THE MAN because Leydon owns almost as much as hot squizz.

  53. Joe Leydon says:

    Yeah, Lex, Bambi was sorry you couldn’t drop by to check out her new dance routine. She has a spiffy new tattoo. Not as cool as mine, but spiffy.

  54. LexG says:

    Ha! Leydon, man. This dude OWNS. He’s like the rowdy uncle I never had. While back, I’m YouTubing this guy and watching vintage Crowe and Clooney totally recognizing his awesomeness.

  55. IOIOIOI says:

    Camel: it’s synthie female pop music. It’s my thing. I also dislike KISSED A GIRL on a pure “JILL SOBULE DID IT BETTER FIRST” sort of way. Nevertheless, this is the night of the BAT! Be prepared.

  56. CaptainZahn says:

    Though I think Kamikazee can be overly snippy at times, I too have issues with Katy Perry. It comes off like the song is saying, “it’s okay to kiss a girl, as long as your boyfriend enjoys it.” Like Tila Tequila, she’s a “gay” celebrity for straight guys.

  57. LexG says:

    That chick is THE HOTNESS and she’s my MySpace friend and I feel special about that.

  58. Cadavra says:

    To quote Lou Costello, “You and 20 million other guys.”

  59. Joe Leydon says:

    Cadavra: Anyone who quotes one of my all-time fave movies, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, is OK in my book!

  60. IO, I’m all about synthie girly pop music, but Katy Perry is an offensive slag. Her first single, which tellingly sank like a lead balloon, was called “Ur So Gay” in which she complained about her ex boyfriend not being manly enough. Essentially, if you’re not a muscle bound wifebeater-wearing beer guzzler you might as well be a flitty gay faggy fag boy.
    And now she’s going around singing about how she kissed a girl and liked it.
    Kissing girls is a-okay, but if a guy wants to kiss a guy it’s gross and disgusting and to be made fun of. Oh my god, you’re like so gay.
    And trust me, I’m not one of those gay people who thinks everybody should be 100% PC and that all gay ppl should hate Madonna and Kylie because they represent all that is wrong with our lifestyle. I just think she’s a homophobic slag who should shut up.
    And fuck you Lex. Fuck you.

  61. IOIOIOI says:

    Camel: yeah… there’s no real excuse for her silliness. She’s pretty much playing to an audience who use GAY the same way and so on. It’s ridiculous that motherfuckers have to use a term referring to an entire group of people as being anything INFERIOUR, but motherfuckers are lazy. They go along with the herd, slag an entire group of people, and act as if it’s acceptible.
    This is one those reason that I may have way too much bravado because you need to it to get the people around you to stop using GAY in a derrogatory way. It’s just so ridiculous, but the way some white people act has never made much sense to me.

  62. IOIOIOI says:

    Let me rephrase the bravado statement. You essentially have to have a lot of it to get the people around you to cut certain shit out.

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon