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David Poland

By David Poland

BYOB For Humpday

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102 Responses to “BYOB For Humpday”

  1. mutinyco says:

    New collection of photos:

  2. leahnz says:

    cool, mutiny, i particularly like ‘night’: 1,5,8,10, red snow, and bank of america; and ‘b&w’ mannequin, poison, chains, mirrored diamond high-rise, and ‘last days’ (which is sorta ‘the end is extremely fucking nigh’-esque from ’28 days later…’)

  3. leahnz says:

    reading that over, i realise i left out the 11th b&w with the beefcake poster still looking strangely hunky watching over the rubble from the far wall

  4. sloanish says:

    Nobody’s talking about the Bale Out? The word of Harry Knowles is powerful indeed. Sucks for him and this is all unfair, but some of the “artistic responses” have been really fun.

  5. mutinyco says:


  6. Ray_Pride says:

    There is one response at moviecityindie that I couldn’t resist. I’d also say look for the “animated version of kid on drugs” until someone splices the tantrum into it as the dad’s voice.

  7. Hallick says:

    Re: the Bale Out – McG comes off worse than Bale in the clip. Apparently, if you’re looking for a director whe’s take charge, in control, and knows how to manage people well, look really hard at McG and then do everything in your power to use his particular set of personality traits as DEALBREAKERS.
    That dummy should have gotten the DP off the set faster than that Comcast goo that makes a guy outrace a car. Bale was out of control angry, and his rage was obviously feeding off of the presence of the DP, who demonstrates pretty clearly in the clip that he wasn’t born with an innate ability to talk his way out of the poop he just stepped in. Getting Bale to walk it off obviously wasn’t a going option, so why not get the light-tweaker out of there for a little while and defuse the situation? That way, you can take Bale aside and tell him that whether he’s in right or not, his tirade was now an additional distraction messing with the concentration of the other actors in the scene, and he needs to go get some air.
    Instead you got Bale hulking out; a DP who won’t go away and stop engaging in the arguement; a director looking like a hapless pussy; and a star demanding that they pick up shooting right there and then when I’m guessing that nobody else wanted anything to do with it.
    The tape itself would make an awesome discussion point for film classes everywhere.

  8. CleanSteve says:

    The Bale thing is interesting….but the update page was where I got that news that Lux Interior is dead. I cannot believe how shaken I am. Almost as bad as I was over Joey Ramone. I just can’t believe it.
    I’m gonna have a good cry and listen to Date With Elvis.

  9. The dance remix is brilliant and better than everything in the top ten at the moment. I love that Revolucian (the producer who made it) even through in a bit of his Barbra Streisand track “Shut the Fuck Up”.

  10. frankbooth says:

    Goodbye, Goo Goo muck.

  11. leahnz says:

    ‘The dance remix is brilliant and better than everything in the top ten at the moment’
    i heard that, kam, absolute genius (what don’t you fucking understand?). try NOT to get up and boogie, can’t do it.
    (i heard someone say so-and-so ‘went bale on his ass’ today so it’s already started, a new entry in the going ballistic lexicon)
    mcg is a spineless, inept coward who should never again be allowed near the director’s chair, anyone who hires him is a fool. the lunatics are running his asylum, there’s no excuse for that; bale’s abusiveness is inexcusable but i get the feeling he was at the end of his rope (rather comically, those gormless responses from the DoP just enraged bale even further, and when bale pleads with mcg to step in and you hear him say something to the effect of, ‘huh? i didn’t see it, i don’t know what’s going on’, i felt like kicking his fucking ass myself.) doesn’t bode well for the movie, does it?

  12. jeffmcm says:

    Sounds like a movie with one really-highly-paid 2nd unit director (McG) and nobody really in the actual director’s chair.

  13. leahnz says:

    yep. the only thing mcg should be allowed to direct is a video on the correct shaving technique to create a convincing soul patch.
    (my fave part of the bale tirade is when he’s going on about walking – he doesn’t need to walk, the other guy needs to STOP walking – and he says, ‘the number of times you’re strolling a-fucking-round’, that’s hilarious, up there with the line ‘fuck-fucking-off!’ from ‘shaun of the dead’)

  14. Martin S says:

    The only person who could have diffused Bale was Bryce since she was in the shot. McG’s non-reaction makes me think this was brewing for some time.
    On another note…
    Dave’s link to Anderson and Interlinc bailing out of magazine distribution is huge. While I’m shocked at how little coverage it’s gotten, I guess I shouldn’t be since the congloms would then have to acknowledge the economic impact. I’ve been debating how much retraction we’re going to see in the monthly comic market, and assumed that the big two would trim back to only main characters. Now, I can see core titles return to alternating months with the all non-DC/Marvel labels going to on-line direct distribution. I could also see DC packing it in on monthlies altogether.
    And for those wondering about personal impact. If you’re in Colorado, beware. IO has apparently come to town…

  15. jeffmcm says:

    He did not have Qapla’.
    (also: ‘defused’)

  16. The Bale-Out was the best thing I’ve heard since Alec Baldwin put his daughter in her place.
    Did you hear? Poland’s “Lunch With…” segment on No Country For Old Men is going to be on the upcoming Collector’s Edition. Dave’s finally apart of the Bells & Whistles.
    Tell us how your interview got selected to be on CE of NCFOM.

  17. Random Off Topic Moment: Lily Allen’s new album is phenomenal. P-H-E-N-O-M-E-N-A-L. We should be so lucky to have her in our lives.

  18. christian says:

    The Cramps in the Rock n Roll hall o fame NOW.

  19. Triple Option says:

    As much as I’d like to blame a placating system of inequality that promotes an inflated sense of self and gross entitlement, listening to Bale tantrum I’d say there’s more than simple narcissism at play there. Some deep seeded issues of rage and control are at play. Some of the apologists for his behavior, citing such things as breaking his concentration when he’s “in the moment” remind me of the Neanderthals citing hockey’s code for the Bertuzzi attack on Steve Moore.
    I agree I think the other actor Bryce would’ve had the best shot at containing him since they both had that shared experience lost. Back in college, I worked at a venue that held outdoor summer concerts. You couldn’t engage the angry drunks or speak rationally to them. You’d just kinda nod, calmly repeat your position and let them yell themselves out. No one has the energy or desire to compete w/that sort of behavior. It doesn’t take much of a response for the whole situation to escalate. Now might be a good time to check Bale’s urine and then remind him that HGH shouldn’t cause such outbursts.
    I know I’m supposed to pray for these people but every time I hear about a star acting out my immediate impulse is to wish someone follow them out to the parking lot and give them 18th St Crips-style beatdown. A lot of people out here get a little money or get a little prestige and talk the talk. All it would take is for a few people to face some physical accountability and I’d bet you’d have a zen-like, STFU peace all over town.

  20. Hallick says:

    That link was awesome Martin, thank you. And mental beyond belief. Could they go any further off topic in describing the history of the Klingon race in the Star Trek universe? Honest to god, it was like the report got written by that beleaguered college professor from the “Physics for Poets” segment on Patton Oswalt’s “Werewolves and Lollipops” CD.

  21. LexG says:

    Triple Option, lighten up, son. That BALE RANT fucking RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULES and everyone should go around acting like that in their everyday lives.
    Lily Allen’s music is OK but not as good as Paris or Katy Perry, both of whom give me a BONER.

  22. IOIOIOI says:

    1) Colorado? Really?
    2) I sure the hell would never ever use such an honourable weapon in the act of robbing a freakin convience store.
    3) Don’t fuck with Klingons. They are like TEXAS, but fatter and angrier.
    Triple: you are so out of bounds, that you moved the boundaries. Bale had a reason for his freaking out, and the director should have stopped him. McG should have shut that shit down with the quickness.
    Everyone can hate Bay all the live long day, but he sure as fuck would not have let that shit happen. The same with other directors that deal with big names and would not deal with bullshit. McG obviously does not have what it takes to shut the talent down when they are acting the fuck up.
    He could be a sweet guy, and does not get conflict. If this is the case. He needs to get a backbone in the future, step in front of the beast, and get his actour to chill the fuck out.

  23. LexG says:

    For the record:
    SHANE HURLBUT lit JESSICA ALBA’S ASS in INTO THE BLUE, so the man knows his lighting.
    But still, Bale RULES here. FUCKING A-PLUS rant and a model for others to follow.

  24. jeffmcm says:

    It’s true – if this was on a Michael Bay movie, there would have been two people screaming, not one.
    Missisippians are fatter than Texans.
    And IOI, your point #2 made me laugh out loud (in a good way).

  25. LexG says:

    Triple Options seems like a guy who’d do his taxes during a blow job.

  26. leahnz says:

    is there a hockey team called ‘the neanderthals’? best sports team name ever!

  27. leahnz says:

    (re: triple op’s comment)

  28. sloanish says:

    I believe most of the Alba ass shots were underwater and there was another DP for all of those — I forgot his name. He’s like the Gordon Willis of water and he does every single water movie. With that said, if he WAS shooting Alba’s ass I could see how he could be hypnotically drawn towards it in the middle of the scene.
    I like Mae Shi Bale song ‘R U Professional’ very much. What makes this one kind of fun is how fast the turnaround is. People had their shit out in around 12 hours.

  29. jeffmcm says:

    Huh? Who wouldn’t accept a blow job if they were in the middle of doing their taxes?

  30. LexG says:

    Can someone tell me conclusively if I will enjoy HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU???
    Let us examine the evidence:
    SCARLETT JOHANSSON, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Connelly– ie, actual movie stars that I like and who deserve to be in a feature film.
    THE CURE used in the trailer.
    Based on a book by Greg Behrendt! Though now most think of him in relation to this book and his douchey daytime talk show, Greg is a REALLY FUNNY stand-up and great all-around guy… dude fucking OWNS, and his mid-90s standup was so far removed from his current Oprah book club status, it’s hard to believe it’s the same guy. BEHRENDT FUCKING OWNS. Major props to this dude.
    Also, contrary to what most people think, that I am a smarmy, sexist, misogynist, Leykis-worshipping asshole, once in a blue moon a rom com can catch me wholly off guard and totally sweep me up, and I end up CRYING like a bitch, because despite my well-documented GOAL in life to be the WORST HUMAN BEING IMAGINABLE, I cannot ever entirely mask that I have a heart of gold and am one of the nicest people you’d ever meet.
    The rest of the cast is TV HACKS who have NO FUCKING BUSINESS being on a screen that is PROJECTED: Justin Long, Kevin Connolly, and especially that frosted David Patrick Kelly-looking TV BITCH Bradley Cooper have NO FUCKING BUSINESS in a major motion picture, NOBODY wants to pay money to see their zero-wattage asses.
    That MYSPACE BOOTY CALL line, the most cringey trailer shit of the decade.
    Drew Barrymore, still completely marming it up and losing all the awesome fun sexiness she had in the mid-90s.
    Jennifer Aniston, possibly the only screen presence more hateful, entitled and unpleasant than Kevin Connolly or Jack Black.
    The fact that every limp-dick movie critic in America will talk up that GINNIFER GOODWIN that ISN’T A STAR AND DESERVE TO BE IN MOVIES. Like, in a movie with SCARLETT JOHANSSON and Jennifer Connolly, if you’re noticing GINNIFER WHO THE FUCK, you might wanna check your fucking manhood.
    And GINNIFER is a fucking stupid name. It’s JENNIFER. Now go back to TV and stop trying to be funny. “FUNNY” women are REPULSIVE.

  31. LexG says:

    ANYONE ELSE dealt a blow this week when they found out JESSICA SIMPSON WAS NOW FAT????

  32. LYT says:

    I like the fatter Jessica Simpson. She looks less fake.
    As for Bale, no-one seems to be bringing up the fact that he got hassled by the cops for bitching out his own mother. And I’ll bet mom is scarier to him than McG.

  33. LexG says:

    “I like the fatter Jessica Simpson.”
    That’s funny, I thought LOU FROM CADDYSHACK was straight.

  34. jeffmcm says:

    I still disagree with Lex’s anti-Jack Black position (and I’m really downright puzzled and confused by it – is it ‘funny fat guy jealousy’?) and the absurd contradiction of ‘I have a heart of gold’ and ‘Funny women are REPUSLIVE’ which is itself repulsive.
    But I am in COMPLETE agreement that ‘Ginnifer’ is a stupid, stupid name. How do you even pronounce it?

  35. LexG says:

    Is JENNIFER CONNOLLY single? She’s probably not in my top 25 hot chicks, and she’s probably older than fucking Einstein, but despite her notable lack of humor in most big screen roles, I TOTALLY CAN TELL that is one actress/celebrity who would WHOLESALE GET my awesome personality and dark, misanthropic assholeness.
    Other potential Lexmates who would rally round the shtick include Christina Ricci, Evan Rachel Hotness, Allison Lohman, Jena MALOWN, Rosario Dawson, Avril Lavigne, Alicia Keys, and Maggie Q.
    And of course K-STEW.
    But FIONA APPLE is probably my most suitable celeb love match.
    Like, I LOOOOOVE

  36. jeffmcm says:

    Yeah, they’re all big fans of whiny, depressive basket cases.

  37. LexG says:


  38. LexG says:

    “…she’s probably older than fucking Einstein…”
    Christ, sometimes I’m in such a hurry to crank these gems out that even *I* don’t realize how fucking funny I am. Like, I’m sitting here ROLLING over that shit. It’s a fucking NATIONAL TRAGEDY I can’t get a TV writing gig, seeing as how I wheel out lines like that almost subconsciously and multiple times a day right here in front of the entire Hollywood elite.

  39. LexG says:

    I should make a WIKIPEDIA ENTRY for LEXG. Like NAVIN JOHNSON waiting for the phone book, I would know I’ve made it. Hey, if McDouche can enter his own completely unsolicited IMDB entry, why can’t there be a WIKI entry for a MAN WHO HAS BEEN QUOTED in VANITY FAIR, LA WEEKLY, DEFAMER, and is a regular attraction at MCN and a certain other blog helmed by a guy who looks like John Black from Days of Our Lives.
    THAT WOULD RULE. Maybe Fiona Apple would go out with me if I had a Wiki page.
    You are actively LOSING MONEY by not representing me. I am available for ACTING WORK, SCREENWRITING, AND TV HOSTING assignments.
    ANYONE who denies that I have more writing skills than 90% of the people in the game? Well, you’re just lying to yourselves.
    I am the smartest, funniest, most awesome presence in Hollywood, an awesome sardonic, anarchic, free-wheeling voice that would EARN YOU FUCKING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
    Starting soon I will begin debuting my AUDITION VIDEOS on YouTube, and the bidding for my BRILLIANT SERVICES will begin. If you are an AGENT OR PRODUCER and have a LICK OF INTELLIGENCE, you will SEIZE THIS OPPORTUNITY to SIGN ME IMMEDIATELY and get me on THE REELZ CHANNEL or IFC or SUNDANCE or TCM as a FILM EXPERT.
    When you see the videos and are witness to my incredible on screen magnetism and improvisational skillz, you will see I AM NOT LYING.
    Then I will post my clips of DRAMATIC ACTING.
    I will be WORTH A MILLION DOLLARS within 26 MONTHS.
    I WILL.
    You can get on the train or PASS ON MY BRILLIANCE AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
    ALL CAA AGENTS, ICM AGENTS, WILLIAM MORRIS, GERSH, WHATEVER… you know my E-mail, you know where to find me.
    Even you LURKERS, you know you WANT TO MAKE MONEY.

  40. LexG says:

    OH and any prospective employeuuuurs:
    I accept payment in either money or VAG.
    Preferrably the latter.
    You think I am kidding, but I AM NOT. I WILL have the last fucking LAUGH.
    If you could mix Stephen King, Stephenie Meyer, Brando, Artie Lange, Burt Young, Tom Hanks, Jason Statham, Michael Bay, and Dane Cook into one grossly overweight but magnetic fat fuck, that’s still ONLY 1/5 of HOW FUCKING TALENTED I AM.
    Within five years:
    ALL AGENTS, ALL PRODUCERS, make this shit happen. I’m like an uglier, fatter JAMES TOBACK who’s gonna tax even more trim.

  41. LexG says:

    Oh yeah, I’ll win the fucking Pulitzer too.
    Why sell myself short?
    I AM SMARTER THAN ANYONE IN THIS FUCKING WORLD except for Bill Maher and Tom Leykis.

  42. York "Budd" Durden says:

    Anyone else think that Lex is passed out right now with his mouth hanging open?

  43. York "Budd" Durden says:

    Anyone else think that Lex is passed out right now with his mouth hanging open?

  44. Martin S says:

    Glad people liked the link. IO, good to see you got the humor and wasn’t personal.
    Lex – why don’t you just open a blog and then link-back here with your rants? If you really believe you can draw a crowd, then that’s how it would start. People are not going to forward random comments in threads to other people. Hell, do you at least have a MySpace page to flip out on? Those are free, you know…

  45. Martin S says:

    Maritn Campbell is a very solid choice for Green Lantern, by the way.

  46. mysteryperfecta says:

    Better yet, since DP facilitates Lex’s ‘musings’ as sort of a charity case, why not allot a little mcnblog bandwidth and make it official? The Shot Blog? The Blot Blog?

  47. EOTW says:

    Genius, Lex. Those rants are some of the most entertaining I’ve ead in a while and I needed a big laugh since I found out Tuesday afternoon that I’m getting sued.

  48. yancyskancy says:

    The Sot Blog ought to do it.
    Ginnifer is pronounced with a soft ‘g’ – it’s pronounced the same as Jennifer. Lex, would you like her better if her name was Vodkafer? 🙂
    I think she’s adorable and always have (even when she was heavier, bespectacled and curly-headed on “Ed” — and I’ve liked Justin Long ever since then as well).
    And I’m straight.

  49. Triple Option says:

    Leah: No, by Neanderthals I was referring to the hockey fans who tried to justify a cheap and vicious attack in a hockey game a few years ago that ended one player

  50. IOIOIOI says:

    Oh goodness! I made Jeff really laugh! Let me check if hell is freezing. Nope! IT’S GOOD! WOO!!!
    Now a moment in Lex history~ This moment in history features Lex’s CAA Agent TERRY WRINKLES and his discussions with a Warners TV executive about Lex’s PAYMENT!
    TW: “Hey ___. How goes it?”
    WE: “Oh it goes. Freakin ABC are being a bunch of bitches as usual. This is why we say the ABC is for; ‘ALWAYS BITCHIN and COMPLAININ!'”
    TW: “Ha. That’s good.”
    WE: “So what you need Terry?”
    TW: “Well it’s Lex.”
    WE: “That new writer I hired?”
    TW: “Yeah. So, he, uh…”
    WE: “Spit it out Terry.”
    TW: “He wants to be paid in vag.”
    WE: “Vag? You mean VAGINA? He wants Warners TV to pay him… IN PUSSY? Are you fucking kidding me?”
    TW: “Uh no. He’s quite serious. He keeps going on about K-Stew and Jessica Alba’s ass. His rambling on the phone scares me, but he wants to be paid in vag. Those are his words.
    So as his agent, what’s your stance on this?”
    WE: “Yeah. This is not 1985, and we do not have hookers on payroll. So tell him this: if he wants to continue to work for us. He will accept the direct deposit, and never ask for VAGINA FROM A MAJOR FUCKING MEDIA CONGLOMERATE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND TERRY?”
    TW: “Yeah. Sorry ___. I know it was a ridiculous request, but I had to ask. I also could not ask my assistant to do it because it screams ‘SEXUAL HARASSMENT.'”
    WE: “I know Terry. But what a weird request. It’s almost as weird as you know…”
    TW: “The guy who wanted to be paid with a glass table and a hooker to shit on it.”
    WE: “Yeah. That’s… that’s weird. So I am going to go now Terry. See you at the soccer game Saturday?”
    TW: “I’ll be there. Thanks for your patience and still employing my client ____.”
    WE: “No problem Terry. Later on.”
    TW: “Later.”
    This has been another moment in LEX HISTORY. ONLY HERE AT THE HOT BLOG!

  51. IOIOIOI says:

    Triple: when I am angry. I SALT THE FUCKING EARTH! It’s not right, but that’s my level of anger when I get angry. So I get Bale works, and would have a similar response. I, of course, could bomb a motherfucker in less than four minutes. That’s besides the point. Nevertheless Triple; not everyone has the same level of anger. I personally have problems with people who lack the ability to get super heated up, then get pasted it in about 10 minutes time. If you never really get angry. I think that’s a problem.

  52. leahnz says:

    thanks, triple, i was half-joking anyway, i suspected as much but part of me was secretly hoping there was a team called ‘the neanderthals’ because that is so brilliant.
    just to clear, i’m no bale apologist; he clearly has serious rage issues and needs to sort his hit out, pronto. the reason i hold mcg equally responsible for what occurred is cause and effect: mcg obviously does not run a tight ship; he is the ringmaster of that particular circus, and if someone is repeatedly walking around on his set during takes – which sounds like the case – he needs to lock it down. high school film-making 101: nobody MOVES after the director says action, rudimentary stuff. i think it’s obvious mcg does not assert his authority on the set, and the trickle-down consequence is that bale, a willful personality to say the least, walks all over people. bale wouldn’t act that way if he didn’t know he could get away with it. did he pull that nonsense with nolan, mann, mallick, hertzog, etc? doubtful, because a) the DoP wouldn’t be allowed to wander around (or strolling a-fucking-round as bale so hilariously puts it) during the shot, and b) if bale tried that on with those guys i bet it was nipped it in the bud but fast. mcg should have stepped into the fray immediately, shut it down and taken the guys outside to sort it. he is inept, that is the long and short of it, and the captain goes down with the ship.

  53. leahnz says:

    ‘sort his Shit out, pronto’. maybe a freudian slip typo

  54. Triple Option says:

    IO: I think sustaining the tirade for over four minutes is precisely the point. An outburst of anger is to release the internal tension. He didn

  55. mysteryperfecta says:

    “The Sot Blog ought to do it.”
    That’s perfect.

  56. leahnz says:

    ‘Now if he

  57. jeffmcm says:

    Why is the DP tweaking lights when he has a whole department working for him to do that?
    And I agree with Mystery – DP is Lex’s biggest sponsor and enabler and has infinite tolerance, so make it official already and then there can be a whole page just for Lex that we can choose to ignore.

  58. IOIOIOI says:

    Triple: I get focusing on Bale, but it’s still a failure on McG’s part to control HIS set. Once you have an actour going on about his/her’s “SET.” Anyone with any clue as to how a chain of command works. Would sort of go; “that’s a problem.” Which it is.
    So McG should have stepped up, shut the argument down, and took a break. So he could talk to everyone involved in the BRUHAHAHA, get them to chill the fuck out, and lead to everyone to move the fuck on. It’s starts at the top. Unless Christian Bale is directing Salvation. McG should have given him a big cup of “SHUT THE FUCK UP” and got his set under control.

  59. jeffmcm says:

    McG screaming at Christian Bale is exactly what the situation did _not_ need to have happen.

  60. The Big Perm says:

    Maybe McG knew Bale was right and he had talked to the DP and was ignored, and decided to let those two handle it. THat’s what Harry Knowles said. And you can’t tell what the DP is saying, but notice he keeps saying stuff which is pissing Bale off more. He threatens to kick the guy’s ass after he said something.
    Sometimes it’s better to let a fit just go it’s way and be done with it in a few minutes, rather than get in there and piss Bale off more, who walks off set. I’ve been there when that shit happens and then you’re fucked. Could McG handle it better? Probably, but I find it hilarious that IO the alpha male genius thinks he’d handle it better.
    If Lex had half the balls that Bale does, he might have sex with a paid hooker one day! At least an ugly one.

  61. Lota says:

    so when has McG ever been in control of a set? Perhaps the point of the frustration & subsequent tirade…not that i agree with the tirade method.
    Martin campbell indeed for the GH…damn sight better than Kevin Smith.

  62. LexG says:

    Good to see that shit doesn’t get stale AT ALL three years later after it was run so far into the ground it probably surfaced in Beijing.
    On another note, I CANNOT WAIT for that Shopaholic movie, looks HOT AS HELL. I want the poster.

  63. IOIOIOI says:

    Perm: If you want to take a shot. You can keep on taking shots, but you shoot as well as a stormtrooper. So try to keep it cool, and I could do it better. You silly woman.
    Jeff: your response demonstrates in spade your passivity. You do not have to scream. You just need to assert your… authority. He’s the boss. The entire tape comes off as him not being the boss.
    Again; if he has a more laid back style, and that works for him. Good for him. If it leads to screaming outburst from your star. I would say that he needs bit more aggression in his cereal.

  64. mysteryperfecta says:

    Lotta big talkers in here, but if you were actually faced with a guy on a tirade, you might be a little shell-shocked and hesitant. That reaction is not a character flaw; the opposite often is.

  65. jeffmcm says:

    Yeah, this blog shows that I’m a really passive character, IOI. God.

  66. The Big Perm says:

    IO, I shoot like the stormtroopers that killed Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. One shot, motherfucker. Laserbolts right up your big fat ass.

  67. IOIOIOI says:

    Mystery: A 400lbs man tried to tackle me once. Big emphasis on the TRY.
    Jeff: insulting people does not change the fact that you are passive. Look at the way you deal with Lex. It’s the most passive responses from someone who hates someone else on the internet… like ever. Seriously… there is no fight in you. Zero point zero. That could be a good thing to a lot of people.
    Perm: Stop it. You are making me blush.

  68. The Big Perm says:

    Jeff’s just trying to be semi-polite instead of being an internet loudmouth tough guy. THat’s all.
    ps I would bash your head in with a hammer.

  69. IOIOIOI says:

    Perm: Jeff is doing his own version of being an internet bad mouth. You also cannot move that fast. I got attacked with a hammer once. The other guy’s chin really did not agree with that move.

  70. LexG says:

    Isla Fisher on Letterman.

  71. jeffmcm says:

    IOI, the thing is, I don’t hate Lex. I hate his behavior, but I think Lex, the real person with emotional problems who hides behind a lot of obnoxious bluster, is intelligent and funny. The reason is, because he occasionally breaks out of ‘character’ to present the real him…which I cannnot say of you, who, as far as I can tell, is a belligerent kid with emotional problems and who may or may not be attempting to treat them with medication, with mixed results. I don’t see your upside, and as you remember, I tried, years ago, to get you to make more sense so that I could understand you. Your grammar and spelling are much improved since then, but your attitude has only gotten worse.
    Just the facts, man.

  72. LexG says:

    Random 2am “What ever happened to?” thoughts:
    What became of Marco Brimbella? Hyped hot new action director, does “Demolition Man,” four years go by, returns with the Alicia Silverstone comedy “Excess Baggage,” then never heard from again.
    Or Breck Eisner; I see he’s got a lot of stuff lined up on his IMDB page. Not sure how many of those are actually done deals, but even though maybe “Sahara” wasn’t the hugest hit, seems odd he hasn’t directed another big-time movie in the four years since.
    Simon West; Came up around the same time as Bay, Fuqua, and Fincher. Three big hits right out of the gate, one of which was a giant blockbuster. Circa ’99 I’d have pegged this guy to be Bob Rafelson to Michael Bay’s Hal Ashby. Then six years between “Tomb Raider” and the very modestly scaled “When a Stranger Calls” remake. (Which was also a hit.) Anything since?
    Dominic Sena; Odd case here. Somewhere around the time of either “Gone in 60 Seconds,” I guess I assumed he was some hotshot young Bruckheimer discovery. Then realized on the “Swordfish” DVD the guy was over 50. Again, as with West, seems odd that a director of two consecutive big summer flicks would go essentially MIA for seven years.
    Obviously all cases are different, and I’m not bagging on any of these guys, as I’ve liked mostly all of their movies. And I know a million different factors can come into play, but just always interesting that some directors work like clockwork whether their films are hits or not… then sometimes guys who make some of the BIGGEST stuff kinda fall off the face of the earth with seemingly no explanation.

  73. jeffmcm says:

    Since the best movie any of those guys ever made a movie was Demolition Man, it’s really hard for me to want to care.

  74. LexG says:

    Heh. Where’s H.E.’s “actionman” when you need him, I guess.

  75. The Big Perm says:

    The only thing that would make bashing IO’s head in with a hammer is the hour you’d spend cracking that thick skull.
    I’m kind of glad all of those directors Lex mentioned are gone.

  76. christian says:

    Lex’s musings on these MIA directors is like wondering whatever happened to Hy Averback and Gordon Douglas…

  77. storymark says:

    Lex, Dominic Sena has Whiteout with Beckinsale coming soon, and is supposedly working on a fantasy flick with Nic Cage and Ron Perlman.
    Simon West directed the video for Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”, and as such, is indirectly responsible for “Rickrolling”, so he can just stay gone.

  78. IOIOIOI says:

    Jeff: your response demonstrates why you are a fucking asshole. Only an asshole would believe — as you do — that you can gage MENTAL problems from posting on the internets. Seriously Jeff; do you really feel this way? Really? If you, here we go, and I am going to rip you apart now. Try not to flinch.
    You come across as a man who needs control. You need to control me, control Lex, and control what happens on this blog. This most likely comes from the fact that you are alone, you have no family that care for you or they are dead, and you live life on the fringes.
    You go to work, and no one cares. You go to the same stores, and no one cares to be kind to the chubby guy with the red hair.
    You go to the movies alone, you make little quips to yourself, then you go home and masturbate. You usually hate yourself for this. Being the good catholic that you are, but you still do it as much as humanly possible. It is the only sexual interaction someone like you, someone like you, will ever get. What woman would want to share their lives with a wretch such as you? Who would want to be your friend?
    You see Jeff: I am the complete opposite of everything you think of me. If you were not a latent racist. You would get that LATIN PEOPLE like ME have TEMPERS. It’s our things. This is why Freddie Alonso is one of if not the best race car drivers on earth.
    If you had any ability to read people. You would not be you, you would be better than you, and you know that you have been trying to be better than you since High School. It’s too damn bad that you are still too damn YOU to make anyone LOVE or CARE for you. Lex might be a drunk, but the hookers at least accept his phone calls.
    Now Jeff; you should start your own blog. Where assholes such as you can discuss whatever assholes like you discuss on a daily basis. It’s not like people like you have a lot of human interaction. Hell Jeff; you are merely half an evolutionary step above a mole person.
    So you should go back into the dark. Go sit in your room and count down the seconds of your life. You can count as fast as you want, but this will not do you any good. You still have to live your life as a miserable chubby fuck, that no one gives two shits about because of his shitty fucking attitude. Really Jeff… you want facts… these are the fact and I just knocked your fucking head right off it’s shoulders.
    Remember this the next time you try to insult me. Let it fester in your size eight head. Let it roll around there with your hatred of people and life. You could not figure me out if you knew me. Let alone knowing me on here. So go fuck yourself Jeff. Go fuck off to wherever people like you go fuck off to around this time each night.
    Oh yeah Perm: you most likely weigh around 150 to 160lbs. You lack the speed, kid. You lack the speed.
    I should also contact Poland to give me your ISP address, and contact your local authorites. I live in the hood. We love droppin the dime… WOOO!!!!

  79. christian says:

    Tough movie guy on a blog.

  80. jeffmcm says:

    “Only an asshole would believe — as you do — that you can gage MENTAL problems from posting on the internets.”
    500 words later…
    “So go fuck yourself Jeff.”
    Nuff said.

  81. jeffmcm says:

    Oh – and IOI, why do you think I’m an overweight, red-haired Catholic? None of those things are true.

  82. The Big Perm says:

    Wait, before IO said I was fat, and now he’s saying I’m 150 pounds, which would make me fat if I were four feet tall, maybe. And wouldn’t being a smaller size more likely than not mean I would be FASTER? Jet Li is quicker than big guys because the more mass, the slower the guy, normally. IO seems confused.
    Oh that’s right, because he’s a dumbfuck.
    And IO, if you need to run to daddy, go ahead. That way your internet life can be like your regular one. Pussy.

  83. IOIOIOI says:

    Christian: you think what I wrote makes me a tough guy? Nah. Fighting back when my dad TRIED to beat me up as a kid. That makes me a tough guy. If you were not geriatric. I am sure you would love to hit me. Try.
    Jeff: you are easily the dumbest asshole on the net. YOU NEVER GET THE POINT. The point remains that you think you know me, when you have no clue about me. I am sure in real life that we would get along because I can be friends with assholes, and turn them into better people.
    So while you can believe what you want. You just need to know that on here… you are a cunt and anyone who supports you… is a douche.
    Perm: I know 5’9″ 150lbs women, and they do not move. Again… 150 is big. Seriously; you are a fat slob, who I could literally cripple. Luckily for you. You are a woman, and I would just let you meet my mom.
    Why my mom? She throws Gordy Howe elbows. If you even thought about stepping to me. She would devestate you. It would be funny to watch, but would lead to your fat ass going to therarpy for a few extra years.
    Seriously you cow… get out of the mom pants and shut the fuck up. If you are that into hurting me. You should try. I have been shot at, attacked with a hammer, a knife, a baseball bat, and a friend pulled a hatchet once, but I think he was joking. Still.. you are a fatty that could not touch me. The next time I am in the your neck of the woods. You can try. I will just duck, and make you look as stupid as you do on a regular basis. You sorry sack of blubber and bile.

  84. christian says:

    “I can be friends with assholes, and turn them into better people.
    So while you can believe what you want. You just need to know that on here… you are a cunt and anyone who supports you… is a douche.”

  85. jeffmcm says:

    I’m sorry, I’m more interested in, “I have been shot at, attacked with a hammer, a knife, a baseball bat, and a friend pulled a hatchet once, but I think he was joking.”
    (A), not surprised, and
    (B) You can’t write stuff this good.

  86. The Big Perm says:

    The only insults in IO’s arsenal are calling me fat. I really hope you’re 12 IOThe only insults in IO’s arsenal are calling me fat. I really hope you’re 12 IO< otherwise it's just sad. Unless you're putting on an act. Let's all hope. And I'm not a 5'9 150 pound crippled woman, who are apparently the only kind you know. I'm a 5'11 guy who would love to meet you one day, if the asylum will let you out.

  87. yancyskancy says:

    Perm: Now that IO has revealed his intention to duck, make sure you aim low.
    christian: Bite your tongue re Gordon Douglas. Sure, he was a journeyman who made more than his share of crap, but in over 40 years of directing (from Our Gang to Laurel and Hardy to Them! to Elvis to Sinatra) he made a lot of solid, respectable entertainments. You gotta love any director who, in a two-year period, made a giant ant movie, a Doris Day/Frank Sinatra musical drama, a Korean War aviation pic and a hetero love story starring Liberace. Top that, forgotten action auteurs of the ’90s! 🙂

  88. The Big Perm says:

    I should add that since IO suggested I meet his mom, I did so tonight. What a slut! She LOVES it in the ass. She said IO is better though…so I have to work on that. But she likes guys who cry a lot, and frankly I don’t know if I want to go there.

  89. jeffmcm says:

    Okay, Perm, I think you might have crossed a line. Isn’t it sufficient to go after IOI when he says something stupid and hyper-defensive?

  90. IOIOIOI says:

    Perm is a guy? I got five inches on you. Oh jesus. You are so doomed.
    Christian: I remember your politics, and you were on the wrong side then like you are now. Seriously; what’s a grandpa chatting online? Santa Jo at least has a reason because this is his job. What’s yours?
    Jeff: everything you type is stupid and hyper-defensive. Seriously; you are in the wrong here dumbass. How you cannot grasp this, you dense fuck, demonstrates how far out of whack your ass is online.
    There’s a line: if you are picking jeff. You’ve got problems. Real problems. Not as many problems as Perm. What kind of douche refers to themselves as THE BIG PERM? Only a fat fuck with a big afro would name himself something so moronic.
    That’s funny. Some fat fuck really thinks he can beat me up. I fought a fat fuck once. I literally had to run up the wall to keep the headlock on him, but I never let go. It’s really hard to let go of a fat fuck’s head. It’s so big.

  91. Cadavra says:

    Okay, guys, let’s knock this off before it gets to the name-calling stage.

  92. LexG says:


  93. jeffmcm says:

    Fuck, IOI, I was criticizing Perm for attacking you unnecessarily in my last post, and you still have to go after me for no particular reason.
    You really need to work on your reading and social perception skills, because they are shit.

  94. IOIOIOI says:

    Jeff: uh no, you need to work on those skills. You and me… we’re done.

  95. The Big Perm says:

    See Jeff, this is why sometimes you have to strike first. You can’t negotiate with terrorists.

  96. jeffmcm says:

    “You and me… we’re done.”
    What does this even mean? No more brunches or long weekends just cuddling in bed? What did we have that could be finished? Just nonsensical tough-guy rhetoric.

  97. leahnz says:

    come on, jeff, what don’t you fucking understand? 😉

  98. Lota says:

    “No more brunches or long weekends just cuddling in bed? ”
    Big Perm will be mighty hurt. I don’t think he knew about you two.
    : )

  99. IOIOIOI says:

    Notice this is all the support he has. Again… a dude with a big afro calls himself “BIG PERM.” Easily the funniest reveal in the history of this blog.
    Again: a 5’11” dude with an afro thinks he’s tough. Unless his name is CARLITO. Yeah. Really? Really?
    Jeff: watch a fucking TV show from time to time. You ditzy fucker.

  100. jeffmcm says:

    I’ve been watching the National Geographic Channel all day. Doesn’t “The Whale That Exploded” count as a TV show?

  101. IOIOIOI says:

    That’s a good one. That whale also deserved better.

  102. The Big Perm says:

    IO, why don’t you post a picture of yourself and show us all your big tough guy body? Maybe you could have your mom snap a pic of your rippling muscles while you have your cock in her mouth?

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon