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David Poland

By David Poland poland@moviecitynews.com

BYOB – Oscar Sunday

You are pretty much going to be on your own today… be nice to each other… have a good time… I’ll see you on the other side…

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134 Responses to “BYOB – Oscar Sunday”

  1. Blackcloud says:

    Just wondering, David, will you be at the ceremony, or will you be taking it in from elsewhere?

  2. Josh Massey says:

    Oscar Sunday, or as I like to refer to it, The Dork Night.

  3. a_loco says:

    I’ll take this as an opportunity to run down my predictions:
    Slumdog
    Boyle
    Rourke
    Winslet
    Ledger
    Davis
    Beaufoy
    Black
    WALL-E
    The Class
    Man on Wire
    and the rest I don’t give a shit about.

  4. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    The Dork Knight? Good stuff Josh. Good stuff.

  5. I don’t think Dave attends the Oscars. If people like Dave could attend the Oscars they wouldn’t need to think the BFCAs were so good. 🙂
    I really want Penelope Cruz to win this year. Not just because she’s the best of the nominees (in my eyes), but because it’s so rare that the Academy has the chance to reward somebody for a role that is truly deserving whilst they are also at their true peak. Would anyone deny that Cruz is just charging through her career right now? Hopefully they don’t take her for granted and then in 15 years have everyone asking “why doesn’t she have an Oscar?”

  6. Rob says:

    30 minutes into E!’s preshow and Ben Lyons is making my ears bleed. Zac Efron looks greasy and Miley looks like mall trash as usual.

  7. LexG says:

    Ben Lyons owns and Ryan Seacrest is a pro, but next year, assuming I’m famous, they really should have me do these red-carpet interviews.
    Every time a hot chick came by to be interviewed, I’d start my questioning with, “What the fuck is up, sugartits?”
    GOOD IDEA.

  8. Hallick says:

    “30 minutes into E!’s preshow and Ben Lyons is making my ears bleed. Zac Efron looks greasy and Miley looks like mall trash as usual.”
    Oh, but the “Glamastrator” is just a wonderous invention (what the hell? E! couldn’t find a word that sounded MORE like a gay sex toy?).

  9. LexG says:

    I just watched George Pinnochio interview Vanessa Hudgens for like eight excruciating minutes and the dude didn’t even hit on her.
    Why do they have such asexual ass-kissers do this red carpet shit?
    They need a Stuttering John-style drunken slob down there taking some of the HOT AIR out of the place. Jesus Christ, the tone is SO sycophantic and reverent, unless you count those half-assed vaudeville softball barbs Joan Rivers tosses.
    I’d be like, “Hey Zac, what’s it like BANGING THIS CHICK?” Or “Hey Angelina, you gave me a BONER in Foxfire.” FUCK YEAH.
    LEX FOR REELZ OR E! in ’09.
    MAKE IT FUCKING HAPPEN. NO EARTHLY REASON why I don’t have my own film review show or movie-themed talk show. NO FUCKING REASON. And I don’t mean some internet shit for ten cents. I mean a real show.
    MAKE IT HAPPEN, MARTIN S. Get on it, Son.

  10. Hallick says:

    “Every time a hot chick came by to be interviewed, I’d start my questioning with, “What the fuck is up, sugartits?”
    It’d be best to stand perpendicular to the carpet if you did so.

  11. jeffmcm says:

    “NO EARTHLY REASON why I don’t have my own film review show or movie-themed talk show.”
    In terms of your having intelligence, cultural knowledge, and a sporadically engaging sense of humor, you’re completely right.
    If you could only jettison your laziness, fear, and self-destructive tendencies, you’d be golden.

  12. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    What’s up sugartits? Really? That would be damn funny for about a minute, then it would be damn uncomfortable. Especially if it were like Scarlett Jo Reynolds. Seriously; embarrassing, but you know he rolls that way. HE ROLLS THAT WAY!

  13. lazarus says:

    I’ll give you the sporadic humor and cultural knowledge (1980’s and after, at least), jeff, but that’s a pretty liberal interpretation of the term “intelligence”.

  14. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    He wanted us to be nice. Why don’t you two try and be nice? Oh I forgot. It’s you two, but you should try.

  15. You guys are lucky you don’t have to deal with Richard Wilkins. Ugh. Go back to Keynotes!
    Anne Hathaway is gorgeous! Evan Rachel Wood surprisingly too. Sarah Jessica Parker looks lovely. Beyonce looks quite disgusting though. She needs to give up the mermaid dresses.

  16. leahnz says:

    lex luthor, you wouldn’t last long on the red carpet if you said, ‘what’s up, sugartits?’
    ‘so who are you wearing, sugartits?’ – now that’s a different story

  17. what is Sophia Loren wearing?
    Baz Luhrmann certainly is a charmer. Very diplomatic while also being hilarious egotistical. Just how I like him.

  18. ack! Melissa George!! Don’t adopt an American accent. Hard r’s are for Americans, not Australians.

  19. scooterzz says:

    opening number…oh, dear….

  20. Aris P says:

    So the show is being streamlined but the nominations announcements will take 10 minutes?
    Okay.

  21. Joe Leydon says:

    I actually liked the opening number. In fact, I’d say Jackman is doing a bang-up job so far.

  22. The opening number was pretty good, actually. Far from embarrassing. The new award presentation though (the acting ones, at least) are very strange. I want clip. CLIPS!!

  23. bulldog68 says:

    Opening number not bad.

  24. scooterzz says:

    ribbon wise, white is the new red

  25. Tina Fey and Steve Martin = Funny. Please make a movie together.

  26. bulldog68 says:

    Jack Black zinger. That’s gotta hurt.

  27. Black was indeed funnier than usual, but can’t they get people who aren’t in the nominated films to present a category?
    What’s that though? Three jokes so far about people not watching the movies?

  28. Hallick says:

    Jack Black funny, opening production number charming (shout out to The Dark Knight, little whack to The Reader), odd Japanese animator giving up on his English to say “Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto”…
    I am really being won over here. Even with the creepy, cult-like manner of announcing the supporting actress winner. Wow.

  29. bulldog68 says:

    Agree Kami. Why have someone for a competing movie announce the winner of their own category. I Remember at the grammy’s when Leann Rhymes sung How do I live Without you, and the award went to Tricia Yearwood for singing the same song. Odd and uncomfortable.

  30. Hallick says:

    But yeah, more clips and less brown-nosing. I’ve already seen more of “Space Chimps” than any of the nominated movies at this point.

  31. Hallick says:

    I think having Jack Black presenting in his own category was more than made up for by the joke about taking all of his Dreamworks money and betting it on Pixar’s film.

  32. Oh I got the joke, but why not Ben Stiller? He was in Dreamworks and his movie wasn’t nominated. I dunno. Just strikes me as odd. Like when Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway presented Costume Design the year when Devil Wears Prada was nominated.
    I’m liking the art direction/costume/make up medley. Makes sense, really. And I much prefer the montages of 2008 films instead of “movies with trees in them throughout the ages!” or whatever they would’ve come up with normally.
    Seems really classy so far, really. I’m actually impressed.
    And now Ben Stiller comes out with a Joaquin joke.

  33. scooterzz says:

    the joaquin stuff was funny…um, when it was done during yesterdays spirit award show

  34. bulldog68 says:

    Saw Curious Case last night, and it convinced me to back Slumdog. They missed the boat. Nothing resonated with me emotionally, and while I don’t think Slumdog was the best pic of the year, of the five nominated, I think Slumdog is the best.

  35. Hallick says:

    A pretty spot-on Joaquin joke at that. There’s an irreverence running through show that’s keeping me watching with a lot more attention than in the last few years. It sure helps to balance out the unnerving way they decided to do the acting categories.

  36. That mid-commercial Sci-Tech break with Jessica Alba was strange, right?

  37. “Suck on that Anthony Dod Mantle” made me LOL. Although I get the point of that comedy piece… but… really? Wow. What a terrible year for comedy. The bits where they laughed at Doubt and The Reader were good though. But… yeah. Seriously. Space Chimps, The Love Guru, The Clone Wars, Zohan… they’re really not being fussy about what movies they show, huh?

  38. leahnz says:

    james franco and seth rogan = legend, funniest oscar skit ever (i wonder if franco would come cohabitate with me)

  39. Joe Straat says:

    Wow, the people who aren’t supposed to be funny and entertaining are running rings around the people who ARE.

  40. Hallick says:

    The stuff with the clips of Franco in “Milk” was funny too.
    The short film with Nazis won an award – shocker of the evening?
    I dig the free-for-all tone of the show, but screwing up the winning film’s name wasn’t cool dude.
    Oh fuck, a pointless musical number with Beyonce!? NOOOOOOO!!! Damn it, you guys were doing so well…eff eff eff…

  41. Hallick says:

    A shiny new nickel to the first person here that find a line of coherance in this tribute to musicals. Good hell…

  42. Joe Leydon says:

    Sorry: I liked it. A lot.

  43. scooterzz says:

    i think the clips being projected on a giant inverted pink triangle might suggest a theme (well, pink most of the time)…..

  44. Joe Leydon says:

    And it’s the work of Baz himself. Why does that not surprise me?

  45. I liked it too. The HSM and MM! combos were useless and, really, is it so hard to get a moviestar who can sing and dance before resorting to Beyonce? Ugh.

  46. Joe Leydon says:

    Er, Kami: Beyonce is a movie star. Seriously.

  47. scooterzz says:

    wow!…ledger…didn’t see that coming

  48. Joe Leydon says:

    Has there ever been another Oscarcast that gave this much time to the Documentary award? Good stuff.

  49. Hallick says:

    Bill Maher – so not classy.

  50. bulldog68 says:

    Gotta love people who have some fun when they win. Balancing the Oscar and a disappearing coin trick. Its the Oscar Talent Show.

  51. Joe Leydon says:

    OK: Hugh Jackman just quoted Francois Truffaut, the greatest filmmaker of all time. This means, of course, he is the greatest Oscarcast host of all time.

  52. That was quite cool, actually.

  53. ^ is reply to the Philippe Petit moment. A Truffaut shoutout is cool though.

  54. Oh darn, it looks like Wall-E will only win best animated feature. That’s… disappointing.

  55. Aris P says:

    So Slumdog is the absolute best edited picture of the year? Really?? All the hyper-ADD cutters of the world rejoice. What a joke.

  56. And the editors of Fernando Meirelles films weep.

  57. christian says:

    Eddie for Jerry Lewis…WOW

  58. Joe Leydon says:

    Nutty Professor…. meet Nutty Professor.

  59. JB Moore says:

    Jeff Wells just shat his high thread-count threads.

  60. Thankfully Jerry Lewis kept it brief.

  61. christian says:

    Lewis. Perfect.

  62. Joe Leydon says:

    Poor Jerry — he sounded a bit like Dick Clark.

  63. I wonder whose presenting Actor and Actress
    Actor – I’ve seen Ben Kinglsey, Anthony Hopkins and Adrian Brody in the audience. Is Jack Nicholson there? I haven’t seen him yet. Sean Penn obviously not.
    Actress – We’ve got Sophia Loren and maybe Marion Cotillard. Haven’t seen her, but she probably is. Haven’t noticed anyone else apart from Meryl Streep who obviously can’t do it.

  64. Oh jesus FUCK. John Legend isn’t fit to be in the same room as Peter Gabriel let alone perform his song. What dull lifeless song performances. Rahman isn’t really a live performer, is he? Yikes. “O Saya” was the best of the nominees but the performance was just… got lost.

  65. Joe Leydon says:

    Really? I thought the whole presentation was very impressive. Overall, this is one of the best Oscarcasts I’ve seen.. ever. Really.

  66. Joe Leydon says:

    Departures? I have not seen it. Has anyone on the blog seen it?

  67. Kim Voynar says:

    Leydon: Totally agree. I don’t think there’s anything they could have done that the snarksters like Nikki Finke would have liked anyhow. I’m enjoying it, and not just because I had a slice of homemade red velvet cake while I was watching, either.
    Re Departures — Haven’t seen it, but HUGE shocker of the night for Waltz with Bashir to lose that one.

  68. Aris P says:

    Ok, DAVID FINCHER, easy with the attitude pal.

  69. I never thought Waltz would win foreign language (or documentary, for that matter). It’ll still be a while before the old farts who vote for that category ever give their prize to an animated movie.
    Agreed about the naysayers though. Some people don’t seem to realise that they can’t just change every single thing and turn it into some sort of psychadelic rave. There are some people that will NEVER be happy with whatever the Academy gives us. NEVER. They’re not happy with comedians, but they’re not happy with actors. They’re not happy with long speeches but they’re not happy with short speeches. They’re not happy with celebrities overtaking the show but they’re not happy when they bring in lesser known people. etc. Rinse and repeat. They’ll never change.
    This show has felt classy and speedy (usually, although some parts have been typically slow) and the production has been great.

  70. Joe Leydon says:

    Love that Danny Boyle remarked about how “bloody wonderful” the show seems to be people actually in the room.

  71. Kim Voynar says:

    Did I miss it, or did Danny Boyle not thank Loveleen Tandan in there somewhere?

  72. “I’m just a girl from a trailer park who has a dream”. Ugh. Don’t remind us.

  73. Joe Leydon says:

    Kami: I think some people decided to hate this show before it started. Not you. But others…

  74. Hallick says:

    “Ok, DAVID FINCHER, easy with the attitude pal.”
    I especially liked the “yeah whatever, douch…” frown he pulled when somebody screamed FOR him. What was that all about?
    “This show has felt classy and speedy (usually, although some parts have been typically slow) and the production has been great.”
    But it’s also been pretty cheeky and unafraid of making fun of itself or some of the nominees.
    And am I the only one who loved the Tom Cruise/Jimmy Kimmel commercial?

  75. Hallick says:

    By the way, who was the girl presenting with Zac Efron?

  76. scooterzz says:

    agree this is one of the best (but let’s not kid that there were some pretty clunky moments)

  77. scooterzz says:

    um…weren’t

  78. Joe Leydon says:

    “And am I the only one who loved the Tom Cruise/Jimmy Kimmel commercial?”
    No.

  79. Aris P says:

    Fincher is an insufferable megalomaniac with all kinds of delusions of importance. And this is from first hand experience.
    Melissa or Anne should have won. I’m glad we wont hear from Winsllet and her hysterics for a while.

  80. gradystiles says:

    Hallick, that “girl” was Alicia Keyes in an awful wig and bizarre make-up. The girl who performed with him during the musical number was Vanessa Hudgens.

  81. Hallick says:

    Was Sophia Loren in the Obituary montage and forgot she’d died? Ewwwwww…

  82. Joe Leydon says:

    Hallick: That is really bitchy. Seriously. Shame on you.

  83. scooterzz says:

    I LOVE THAT KATE GAVE A SHOUT-OUT TO THE LATE ROBERT GARLOCK….that was really nice

  84. Hallick says:

    “This show has felt classy and speedy (usually, although some parts have been typically slow) and the production has been great.”
    Holy crap. Never even guessed that one.

  85. Kim Voynar says:

    Penn beats Rourke … kinda surprised by that one, but good for him.

  86. Kim Voynar says:

    Penn beats Rourke … kinda surprised by that one, but good for him.
    Prop 8 reference in 3, 2, 1 …

  87. Hallick says:

    “Hallick: That is really bitchy. Seriously. Shame on you.”
    Sorry about that, Joe. But from the neck up, she looked worse than…ermm, nevermind. Sorry again.

  88. Hallick says:

    “This show has felt classy and speedy (usually, although some parts have been typically slow) and the production has been great.”
    “Holy crap. Never even guessed that one.”
    Sorry, that was supposed to be a response to the Alicia Keys answer. Gotta cut before you paste sometimes.

  89. Hallick says:

    “Penn beats Rourke … kinda surprised by that one, but good for him.
    Prop 8 reference in 3, 2, 1 …”
    At least it’s a defendable political point in his acceptance speech that would’ve been apropos. Not like someone railing against the World Bank after winning Best Costume Design or something like that.

  90. Kim Voynar says:

    Hallick,
    Totally think it was appropriate, glad he did it, just not surprised by it.

  91. Joe Leydon says:

    Best Oscarcast in a while.

  92. Oh. I was really confused for a bit there.
    I’m happy Penn won (as I’ve said before, I’m not that invested in Rourke’s comeback since I wasn’t around when he was originally) and I’m glad both he and Black got to say some powerful stuff. Of course, they’re basically preaching to the choir, but whatever.
    In the end the wins weren’t surprising at all, but it was still a surpringly good show. I also really liked the preview at the end with movies from 2009. Do they usually do that? This was my first year watching them live (they usually have an 8-hour delay here) so I wasn’t sure if the network that airs them here usually deletes it or if not.
    Jackman was really good, although way too underused. Couldn’t they get anyone better than Reese Witherspoon to present Best Director.
    At first I wasn’t too sure about the way the acting awards were presented, but by the final two I really liked it. Actually quite strong stuff and it really did feel like more of a celebration than just reading the names out. So too for the Best Picture nominees.
    For once they got the use of montages right.

  93. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Wow. Horrible show. Rourke losing to Penn is ridiculous, but the academy can apparently watch nazi films. Yet a film about a Wrestler is not good enough for them. I am not shocked, but this is how it works.
    Luckily for me: I am going with history slamming these decisions like they already have with Crash. This is the Academy. Where they reward Chavez lovers and poor-porn! WOO! It’s fantastic!

  94. Oh, wait. I forgot the silly romance and animation montage. They were shit.
    Jesus Christ, IO. Just because somebody (ie, the Academy) doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean they have a vendetta and that they have suspicious motives. I’ll give you Crash, but Rourke? No way. It’s quite obvious that they love Penn and Milk won the most major awards apart from Slumdog so it’s hardly “ridiculous” and it doesn’t mean a film about a wrestler is “not good enough for them”. It’s not like Rourke was beaten by Cuba Gooding Jr or something. Losing to Penn is about as good as it gets.

  95. Hallick says:

    “Rourke losing to Penn is ridiculous, but the academy can apparently watch nazi films.”
    Would it be glib of me to point out that the Academy also nominated Mickey Rourke in the first place, and probably gave him the second highest number of votes overall? You act like these decisions are made in some back room by a unanimously-mined board of EEEEEVIL directors; and aren’t the results of a majority fraction of a subsegment of the Academy that actually turns in a ballot.

  96. Sorry if that came off as harsh towards YOU personally, I just don’t get why that makes you so angry.

  97. Joe Leydon says:

    IO: You are wrong. This is the best Oscarcast show in a long time.

  98. Totally agreed with you Joe. I think, more than anything, the stage and the production of it was just so much better. To look at it was far more pleasing than the giant open space and orange lighting that they usually have. I even think the new seating was good. Made it a bit more pleasing to the eye. Strange how that works.
    But seriously… WHERE WAS JACK NICHOLSON?! Is he dying and nobody knows?

  99. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Kamel: let’s put it on the table. You are a defensive gay man. You think I have a problem with gay people. Bzzz. Wrong. I simply believe Rourke gave the stronger performance, and Penn is a friend of Chavez. Do you have a friend Venezuela? No? I do, and she has to live EVERYDAY WITH THAT WHACK JOB INTERFERING WITH HER LIFE AND HER COUNTRY! Excuse me for not being happy a friend of Chavez won. Excuse me for getting ANGRY. When I have every right to be ANGRY at a group of people who award that man over Rourke.
    Joe: I doubt it will be reviewed that way. It was horrible. It played to it’s core audience. Good for them. The ratings will still fail (especially thanks to Nascar going late), and the show will be different again next year. So this changes nothing.

  100. Hallick says:

    “Joe: I doubt it will be reviewed that way. It was horrible. It played to it’s core audience.”
    In which ways do you think it did that?

  101. IO, I’d rather the ceremony play to the core audience who actually watch year-in-year-out no matter what’s nominated and who wins than random segments of the “audience” that would rather scan the winners onlines after the fact than watch the show as it airs.
    And I don’t give a damn about whether you prefer Rourke to Penn, but I’m saying that it’s not like there’s no evidence that Penn didn’t do an amazing job and that nobody likes him and that he wasn’t the favourite to win. I can understand being peeved off about your favourite not winning – that happened to me many times throughout the night – but of all the ones to get angry about you get angry about SEAN PENN? One of the greatest actors living or dead?

  102. Joe Leydon says:

    IO: You are wrong. And you have no right to be angry. In fact, you are being childish. My saying this likely will incite you to one of your usual foul-mouthed rants. Know what? I’m not impressed.

  103. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Hal: go read the other blog. Seriously; I am glad they played to the core audience, but they decided to do what they needed to do to retain ratings. Again, it’s too damn bad, that Nascar went late.

  104. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Joe and Kamel: did you miss the whole “I HAVE A FRIEND IN VENEZUELA” part of my post? This is my problem with this blog. You always assume ANGRY instead of anything else. I am angry for one reason: a guy who supports the dictator of a country where my friend lives. If you do not understand that… either one of you… you really need to READ WHAT I WROTE AGAIN. Again: I have a friend who lives in Venezuela, Chavez and Penn are buddies, and I will never ever want Penn to win anything for that alone.
    Joe: the only childish rant is your’s.
    Kamel: this show did a bang up job tonight guaranteeing more and more people will stop watching in the future. It can always be a banquet in a hotel again.

  105. Joe Leydon says:

    And IO, BTW: I am straight, and even I am sick and tired of your homophobic remaraks. “You are a defensive gay man.” What kind of chickenshit stuff is this? How about if I write: IO, you are a defensive African American? You would have every right to be pissed. Christ, Spike Lee would probably call me up and say: Joe, you know all the nice stuff I’ve said about you? Well, get fucked.

  106. I guess I just fail to see why you care. You clearly don’t like them, never will and yet you watch merely so you can have further things to complain about.
    And now I don’t wanna discuss it anymore because I’m actually in a good mood whilst at this blog for a change.
    “Suck on that Anthony Dod Mantle” is perhaps my favourite part of the night and I was surprised by now effective the acting presentations were. Although I have a feeling Angie and Nicole wouldn’t like each other in the real world so I found it odd that Nickers presented Angie’s nomination.

  107. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Uh Joe, homophobic? Did you read his response to me? Am I alone in thinking that’s the direction he was taking? If I am. I apologize to Kamel, but not you. You are trying to goad me, and it’s not going to work. I took his response the way I took his response. If that’s wrong. Again, sorry, but that was my interpretation. If it gets you that upset. Well, really, you’ve got to relax.
    Again to recap: I have a friend who lives in Venezuela. She has to live in a country led by a crazy bastard who likes to wear red button down shirts. The crazy bastard who wears button down shirts if friends with Penn. Outside of all the heinous stuff Penn apparently did to Robin Wright. This alone makes me wish he never ever wins another award until he makes amend for being friends with a man. Who keeps my friend and her country down, and in a really freaky time zone.

  108. Joe Leydon says:

    IO: Your semi-literate, incorrectly punctuated ramblings no longer amuse me. Tell you what: I won’t address you anymore, you don’t address me. Or are you gonna get all creepy on me like jeffmcm?

  109. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Kamel: I love the Oscars, but the love affair is over. They decided as a group, and they chose poorly. I will record them, fast-forward them, and occasionally stop to watch a bit or montage. What they were to me died the day they nominated the Reader over the best film of the year. It’s my beef with them, but what they did with Brokeback upset me as well. So I have had enough. If that’s upsetting to you. I’m sorry, but I am just stating how I feel.

  110. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Joe: why are you going off on me? I explained myself to you twice, and you are really upset? I am not at all angry with this award season. I just stopped caring as much as I used to do so, but you are really angry. Please explain why? Oh yeah: you know that worked the other way right? He was Mr. Dominatrix. Do not believe me? Go read his post to me in the other thread and become a believer.
    I do love when people use this on the internet; “Your semi-literate, incorrectly punctuated ramblings…” This from a man who did not know POPULOUS had another definition. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you.

  111. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    One more thing: it’s finally all over as of 3.6.9. Who watches the Watchmen? Everyone ready for Summer movie season. That’s who!

  112. I’m not upset, but for someone who apparently has absolutely no vested interest in the Oscars you sure are eager to get riled up over them.

  113. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Kamel”: it’s in my nature to get riled up, but I really did not care about this ceremony. Don made a good point that it was signed, sealed, and delivered weeks ago. I just dislike anyone who supports anyone, that keeps my friend and her rather large family down. It’s that alone.
    Oh yeah: they did not nominate the most populous film of the year. Which will be a rather glaring oversight in the future, but 2019 may be a different time. This night may be on Bravo :D!

  114. LexG says:

    Anyone know if MARISA TOMEI is single?
    ‘Cause I usually prefer THE YOUNG STUFF, but godDAAAAAAAAMN is Marisa SMOKIN’ these days.

  115. Joe Leydon says:

    Am I the only one having trouble with Yahoo! mail tonight?

  116. LexG says:

    Joe,
    Yahoo Mail seems to be okay for me tonight, FYI.

  117. scooterzz says:

    ‘I just stopped caring as much as I used to do so’
    are you one of those “little britain victorian ladies”?… all of a sudden, the patois makes sense…

  118. leahnz says:

    ‘they did not nominate the most populous film of the year. Which will be a rather glaring oversight in the future, but 2019 may be a different time’
    hey ioiheart, does this mean you’re finally gonna stop whinging about the ‘dark knight’ snub now that the show is over? or do you plan to carry on thru to 2019??

  119. scooterzz says:

    io — see, you’ll always be io…..
    how’s that workin’ for ya?

  120. “but 2019 may be a different time'”
    Yeah, people may look at The Reader as the Citizen Kane of our time and be really confused as to how The Dark Knight became the second highest grossing movie ever. Nobody knows.

  121. scooterzz says:

    As God is my witness, as God is my witness they’re not going to lick me. I’m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I’ll never stop whining. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I’ll never stop whining again!
    io/whateverthefuck – 2009

  122. jeffmcm says:

    Joe, I object to your calling me ‘creepy’ when you were the creepy one in our ‘relationship’ such as it was.

  123. LexG says:

    Hey this is unrelated to the OSCARS but I was watching ONE MISSED CALL on HBO today and you know who OWNS THE FUCK OUT OF ALL and is CHARMING AND HOT AS HELL?
    SHANNYN SOSSOMON OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL HER NAME.
    That chick would. TOTALLY. GET. MEEEEEEEEEE.
    I think she has a kid which is disappointing but if she ever wanted to go out for pancakes I wouldn’t hold it against her.
    FUCK YEAH.

  124. LexG says:

    Anyone else experiencing a COMEDOWN of BUSH 1996 SIXTEEN STONE proportions after watching THE OSCARS?
    All those motherfuckers ARE FAMOUS and BEAUTIFUL, and the rest of us (well some of us) have to go to some JOB and suffer the INDIGNITY OF BEING A FUCKING NOBODY.
    I WANT TO BE FAMOUS MORE THAN ANYONE IN THE HISTORY OF FAME HAS EVER WANTED TO BE FAMOUS.
    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMOUS.
    I don’t want to risk D-PO shutting me down for the night but this shit is PRESSING. How can you face the prospect of another WORKDAY or DOUCHEDAY being FUCKING NOBODY and NOT BEING FAMOUS?
    IT SUCKS NOT TO BE FAMOUS, IT FUCKING SUCKS.
    FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE GOD. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
    Every second spent NOT BEING FAMOUS IS PURE FUCKING *MISERY.*
    I NEED TO BE FAMOUS.
    I NEED TO BE FAMOUS.
    I NEED TO BE FAMOUS.
    I NEED TO BE FAMOUS.
    BEING FAMOUS = a GOD COME TO EARTH. Everyone else is INFERIOR. IF ONE MAN CAN BE GOD, IT SHOULD NOT BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR OTHERS TO FOLLOW.
    Don’t give me that POST SOME VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE FUCKING SHIT. NOBODY watches that shit anymore, and mine is not a BRILLIANCE that can be properly appreciated in 30 seconds.
    Does anyone HAVE ANY– ANNNNNNNNNNNNY– tips or leads on HOW TO GET INTO PORN, REALITY TV, WRESTLING, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYTHING that will get me IN FRONT OF A CAMERA???????
    I. WILL. DO. ANNNNNNNNNNNNYTHING.
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYTHING.
    I used to care about being a legitimate writer or actor but now I JUST WANT TO BE FAMOUS and will take ANY FUCKING AVENUE to get there.
    CHRIST, Poland, you’re a man of power, put in a GOOD FUCKING WORD FOR ME over at REELZ or IFC or Sundance or some shit.
    You’d be CHANGING SOMEONE’S LIFE.
    And isn’t that what SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE WAS ALL ABOUT?
    MAKING ONE’S DREAMS COME TRUE.

  125. LexG says:

    HOW DO THE REST OF YOU *NOT WANT TO BE FAMOUS*?
    How does it not CONSUME YOUR EVERY WAKING SECOND?
    Does ANYONE HERE know ANYONE on the crew of the reality show BIG BROTHER? I think that would be the most appropriate forum for my special brand of brilliance.
    You know where to email if you have ANY REALITY CONTACTS, ANY PORN CONTACTS, any SAG CONTACTS. I’m not wasting my time with any BULLSHIT PLAYS OR any more STUDENT FILMS. Fuck ALL THAT.
    I need to be FAMOUS IN THE NEXT SIX WEEKS and some wack-fuck Valley play or COLD READ class isn’t gonna fucking cut it.
    I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE FAMOUS.
    I WILL DO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYTHING.

  126. LexG says:

    Dennis Miller used to have this joke about NO ONE EVER NEEDING TO BE FAMOUS AS BAD AS MADONNA.
    THEY NEED TO REWRITE THAT SHIT FOR THE LEXMAN, because NO ONE has ever had as deep an EMPTY BLACK HOLE AT HIS CENTER than the fucking LEXMAN.
    Absolutely NOTHING will make me happy until I’M WORSHIPPED LIKE A NIETSHZEAN GOD COME TO EARTH and BOWED TO by HOT SQUACK and RECOGNIZED AS A SUPERIOR BEING IN THIS DARWINISTIC WORLD where SOME PEOPLE ARE GODS and some people ARE PIECES OF HUMAN GARBAGE.
    I NEED TO BE one of those GODS AND COMMAND YOUR WEAK SUBSERVIANT ASS to WORSHIP ME, I AM GOD, YOU ARE WEAK.
    WHEN I’M FAMOUS I WILL FUCK OVER ANY AND EVERYONE WHO’S EVER CROSSED MY PATH, RUNNING THIS FUCKING WORLD AND MAKING THAT FUCKING MONEY AND TELLING ANYONE I’VE EVER KNOWN TO *FUCK OFF.*
    SELLING OUT OWNS.
    I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE FAMOUS.
    I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE FAMOUS.
    I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE FAMOUS.
    I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE FAMOUS.
    I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE FAMOUS.
    I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE FAMOUS.
    I’ll write that shit a BILLION MORE TIMES because IT’S GONNA HAPPEN and I WILL BE MORE HATEFUL, ARROGANT, NARCISSISTIC, AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE than you could ever fucking imagine.
    SELF DESTRUCTION FUCKING OWNS.
    I WANT TO GET SUPER FAMOUS THEN BURN THE FUCK OUT WITH THE HEAT OF A BILLION FUCKING SUNS.
    I WANT TO BE TALKED ABOUT.

  127. christian says:

    And that is why it won’t happen.

  128. IHeartThatCurtis! says:

    Awww. Scott has a vendetta against someone online. He’s apparently as precious as his posting style. Give it up for Scott! He might want to be SCOOT, BUT WE ALL KNOW HIM AS A SCOTT! How’s that working out for you Scott?

  129. LexG says:

    Another boring day, another day NOT BEING FAMOUS.
    FUCKING SUCKS.
    How do you guys LIVE WITH IT, how do you GET THROUGH THE DAY knowing there are men WHO CAN COMMAND PUSSY, and you CANNOT?
    Fucking depressing as fuck.
    POLAND really SHOULD give me BLOGSPACE here to run with these rants where I’d have a built-in audience.
    I tried creating some wack BLOGSPOT BULLSHIT a few months back and occasionally reprint some of my GEMS here over there, but haven’t even bothered to unveil it because that shit is so cheap and unexciting to look at, and I’m better as a RESPONSIVE PERSONALITY than just posting bullshit in a vacuum. This blogging shit is harder than it looks.
    Besides, I don’t want to be an INTERNET PHENOM so much as I want to be THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON WHO’S EVER LIVED–
    Like MADONNA, PRICE, MICHAEL JACKSON, MICHAEL JORDON, ALI, CRUISE, SPIELBERG level of INTERNACIONALE MEGAFAN, RECOGNIZED EVERYWHERE.
    And some cheap Internet hijinx aren’t gonna make it happen.
    I am currently trying to ATTRACT THE ATTENTION of ANY high-profile ADULT FILM COMPANIES to film my STORY and my PLIGHT for an adult video that culminates in me BANGING 10 CHICKS AT ONCE.
    MAKE THIS HAPPEN, ALL AGENTS.
    You know, I’m really getting sick of TELLING you motherfuckers how to MAKE MONEY.

  130. LexG says:

    LONG AS I’M RUNNING SHIT:
    YOU know that CARLS JR commerical where the HOT CHICK tries on OUTFITS to go out, and the DUDE OWNS HER and says they’re eating CARLS?
    THAT CHICK IS HOT AS FUCK AND I WANT BANG HER.
    SHE GIVES ME A FUCKING BONER.
    FUCK YEAH, GIVE ME A GODDAMN FUCKING BLOG, POLAND.
    NOW.

  131. Cadavra says:

    Would someone please get Kristen Stewart to blow Lex so his wet dream will be fulfilled and then he’ll leave us all the fuck alone?

  132. jeffmcm says:

    After being away for a couple of days, it’s nice to see that the ‘Jeff, if you stop giving Lex attention he’ll go away’ argument has been nicely debunked.

  133. LexG says:

    CADAVRA for the win. Fuck yeah.
    POST OF THE MILLENNIUM.

  134. frankbooth says:

    Lex,
    I suggest you do some Jackass-type stuff, but much more extreme, and then post it online.
    By “much more extreme,” I mean self-mutilation of some kind. Milkman recently made a joke about reenacting a scene from Clean Shaven– I’m sure you know the one. Why don’t you start with that?
    If that doesn’t work, you might have to try a little harder. Ever seen In the Realm of the Senses?

Quote Unquotesee all »

It shows how out of it I was in trying to be in it, acknowledging that I was out of it to myself, and then thinking, “Okay, how do I stop being out of it? Well, I get some legitimate illogical narrative ideas” — some novel, you know?

So I decided on three writers that I might be able to option their material and get some producer, or myself as producer, and then get some writer to do a screenplay on it, and maybe make a movie.

And so the three projects were “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,” “Naked Lunch” and a collection of Bukowski. Which, in 1975, forget it — I mean, that was nuts. Hollywood would not touch any of that, but I was looking for something commercial, and I thought that all of these things were coming.

There would be no Blade Runner if there was no Ray Bradbury. I couldn’t find Philip K. Dick. His agent didn’t even know where he was. And so I gave up.

I was walking down the street and I ran into Bradbury — he directed a play that I was going to do as an actor, so we know each other, but he yelled “hi” — and I’d forgot who he was.

So at my girlfriend Barbara Hershey’s urging — I was with her at that moment — she said, “Talk to him! That guy really wants to talk to you,” and I said “No, fuck him,” and keep walking.

But then I did, and then I realized who it was, and I thought, “Wait, he’s in that realm, maybe he knows Philip K. Dick.” I said, “You know a guy named—” “Yeah, sure — you want his phone number?”

My friend paid my rent for a year while I wrote, because it turned out we couldn’t get a writer. My friends kept on me about, well, if you can’t get a writer, then you write.”
~ Hampton Fancher

“That was the most disappointing thing to me in how this thing was played. Is that I’m on the phone with you now, after all that’s been said, and the fundamental distinction between what James is dealing with in these other cases is not actually brought to the fore. The fundamental difference is that James Franco didn’t seek to use his position to have sex with anyone. There’s not a case of that. He wasn’t using his position or status to try to solicit a sexual favor from anyone. If he had — if that were what the accusation involved — the show would not have gone on. We would have folded up shop and we would have not completed the show. Because then it would have been the same as Harvey Weinstein, or Les Moonves, or any of these cases that are fundamental to this new paradigm. Did you not notice that? Why did you not notice that? Is that not something notable to say, journalistically? Because nobody could find the voice to say it. I’m not just being rhetorical. Why is it that you and the other critics, none of you could find the voice to say, “You know, it’s not this, it’s that”? Because — let me go on and speak further to this. If you go back to the L.A. Times piece, that’s what it lacked. That’s what they were not able to deliver. The one example in the five that involved an issue of a sexual act was between James and a woman he was dating, who he was not working with. There was no professional dynamic in any capacity.

~ David Simon